


The Other Guy

by charmingoutlaws (twdsunshine)



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-05-20 12:59:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 30
Words: 69,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14895078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twdsunshine/pseuds/charmingoutlaws
Summary: The reader has harboured feelings for Jax Teller since he picked her up on the side of the road and gave her a home and a family, but his life is complicated, and his relationship even more so.  When Jax tries to use the reader to mess with his girlfriend, he pushes her straight into the arms of his best friend, Opie Winston.  But will Opie ever be anything but the other guy?  And will her new family be able to keep her safe when her past comes back to haunt her?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first ever Sons Of Anarchy fanfiction! I’m pretty late to the show, but have literally binge-watched the whole thing over the last few weeks and am completely in love with several of the characters. I’m putting it out there right now that this series will diverge from canon - Donna is dead but died much earlier than she does in the show, and Lyla is not in the picture. Some other details will be twisted for the sake of the story too, but hopefully it will still remain true to the MC. Thank you for checking this out! Feedback is always appreciated.

You sat on the rooftop and surveyed the place you called home, the buildings silhouetted against the setting sun, though the neon light still glowed: Teller-Morrow.  The garage was quiet now, plunged into darkness, the mechanics having closed up and headed out several hours ago, but the clubhouse across the yard was buzzing, filled to busting with bikers, the SAMCRO family and a whole host of croweaters, indulging in a little bump and grind and a whole lot of booze.  The stench of beer and cigarettes wafted up towards you, and you could hear Tig’s raucous laugh as he chatted up whatever scantily-clad young lady had caught his eye on this particular evening.  To anyone else, it might have seemed intimidating, sleazy and wild, but you were proud to call it your home.  Those people partying down there, they were the family you’d never really had.  One of the apartments at the back of the clubhouse was the first place you’d ever been able to call your own.  It was an unpredictable, dangerous life, running with the MC but it was your life, and you wouldn’t change it for the world.

‘What are you doing up here?’  Jax’s voice interrupted your reverie and you shot him a glassy-eyed smile as he swung himself off of the ladder to join you on the roof.

You felt your cheeks flush a little when he returned your grin, sinking down beside you, his arm pressed against yours as he took a drag from his smoke.  You’d been harbouring a schoolgirl crush on Jax Teller since he’d picked you up on the side of the road with nothing but a smattering of bruises and a rucksack full of clothes to your name.  You’d been on the run from your dirtbag brother and, for some reason, the club’s VP had taken pity on you.  You still didn’t really understand why, but he’d bought you lunch, listened to your sob story and taken you under his wing.  Within a few weeks, you had a warm bed, a roof over your head and a job working in the TM office with Gemma, not to mention a whole host of new friends that would do anything for you.  You owed Jax your life, and his easy friendship was something you’d come to depend on, so you ignored the butterflies in your stomach and nudged him with your elbow.

'Just enjoying the view.’

'Surveying our kingdom, you mean,’ he announced and you scoffed.  He was a cocky drunk, but then you supposed it was his kingdom in a way.  The MC and Teller-Morrow had been co-founded by his father before he’d died in an accident, and Jax had inherited both a share in the garage and an elevated path up the club ranks.  He was now Vice-President to his step-father’s leadership, and it was accepted as a fact that he would assume the Presidency when Clay eventually stepped down.

'Yeah, alright, Simba.  Whatever you say.’  His brow furrowed in confusion, not understanding the Disney reference despite having a young son, and you giggled at him as he tried to puzzle it out.  'What are you doing out here?’

'Needed some air.  It’s a little crazy in there tonight.’

'It’s all the drama that’s been going on,’ you agreed.  'People need to let off some steam.’

The club was always under heat for something, but that seemed to have intensified of late, and the law was breathing hard down the members’ necks.  

'Yeah, well, Clay reckons he might have a solution.’  Jax stubbed out his cigarette and gave you a weary look. 'He’s called chapel first thing in the morning.’

'Good luck with that.’ The last time you’d seen Bobby, he’d been passed out on the pool table under some willing blonde, Chibbs was swigging whiskey from the bottle like it was water, and Tig would more than likely be up all night with whoever he hooked up with.  Only Opie still seemed to be in control of himself when you’d slunk out into the night, but he always seemed to be on the periphery, watching but not often indulging.

'I think he plans it that way,’ Jax admitted.  'Makes it easier to pass whatever he’s putting forward.  Everyone votes his way just to get outta there.’

You nodded, thinking he was probably right.  You generally managed to stay out of Clay’s way, but you still got bad vibes from the guy, and you knew Jax was starting to pull away from the President’s way of thinking. 'I noticed Tara wasn’t down there.’

'Nah.’  He stretched his legs out in front of him, sighing heavily as he gazed at the scuffed toes of his sneakers.  'I don’t think she’ll be coming round for a while.’

'You guys have a fight?’

'I don’t know.  One minute she’s all for me being a part of the MC and none of it matters, and the next she’s looking at me like she doesn’t know who I am anymore, y'know.  I’m starting to think she’s just better off without me, especially with all the shit that’s been going down.  It’s better for her if she’s not a part of it.’

'I think that’s probably a decision you should make together,’ you scolded him, gently.  As conflicted as your feelings for Jax were, you had a lot of respect for his girlfriend.  She was good for him, raising him above the mindless violence that it was easy to slip into on the street, and you could see that she made him happy.  'You should talk to her, Jax.’

'You think?’

'I do.’

He nodded slowly, before pulling his phone from the pocket of his jeans and flipping it open.  You snatched it away, hastily tucking it into your bra before he could make a grab for it.  'When you’re sober, Teller.  You’re an ass when you’re drunk.  You’ll just make it all worse if you call her now.’

He glared at you, but his attention was soon dragged away by the growl of an engine as a police car crawled past the gates, slow enough to check on any action taking place inside.

Beside you, Jax let out a frustrated growl.  'Damn cops are on our asses 24/7.’

'So?’  You raised a hand to brush his hair back from his face, and he pressed a soft kiss to your palm.  'You’ve got nothing to hide, right?’

Something flickered across his expression, but it was quickly replaced by a tight smile and a nod. 'Right.’

'Oh man, I so do not want to know what just went through your mind.’

You pushed yourself to your feet, turning back to look down at the drunken outlaw.  You could hear people starting to leave, the air filling with nonsense chatter as the crowd headed off into the night.  'C'mon, Teller.  Time to head back down there.  A VP’s work is never done.’

You entered through the main doors of the clubhouse, only to be whipped from your feet as Tig wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and spun you around until your vision blurred.

'You strike out, Tiggy?’ you teased as he deposited you back on the ground, keeping a hold of you with one arm as you staggered, dizzy from the unexpected ride.  You reached up to ruffle his hair and he planted a sloppy kiss on your cheek.

'Just waiting for you, sweetheart.’

'Keep on dreaming.’

Chibs gestured for you to join him on the battered leather couch and you sank down beside him, curling into his side when he slung an arm around your shoulders.  'You look beat, love.’

'Yeah, that’s what happens when you’re manhandled all the time.’  You stuck your tongue out at Tig who raised an eyebrow at you along with his middle finger.

'Aye, I can imagine.’ His hand crept up to stroke your hair, and that along with his soothing Scottish lilt let your exhaustion steal over you.  'You can rest now, darlin’.  I’ll keep an eye on him for you.’

As you drifted off, you could smell the Scotsman’s musky cologne mixed with the leather of his kutte, and as the jukebox quietened down, you could hear the soft laughter of Jax and Opie as they chatted by the bar, and feel the tickle of Tig’s hair against your knee as he sprawled on the floor beside your seat, his head lolling back against the cushion.

Family.  Your family.  The MC was where you belonged.

 

* * *

 

You woke with a pounding headache, blinking dazedly against the blinding light that was streaming in through the clubhouse windows.  Chibs’ arm was still draped around your shoulders, and Tig was snoring softly on the floor, having moved in the night to stretch out, effectively blocking your exit from the couch.  You could hear the clink of glasses being cleared away, and you craned your neck to see who was behind the bar.

‘Morning.’

Opie’s voice sounded brighter than you imagined possible for the early hour and you groaned, running a hand through your hair and wishing you hadn’t when you found it impossibly knotty.

‘Need a hand out of there?’

You glanced down at the sleeping biker beneath you and nodded.  ‘Yes please.’

Disentangling yourself from the Scot, causing him to mumble in his sleep and shift position, you eased yourself onto your knees, clambering on to the arm of the couch and accepting Opie’s hand as he helped you to jump down, his grip tightening as you lurched forward, the room tilting alarmingly.

‘You okay?’

You nodded.  ‘Yeah, just feeling it a little this morning.’

‘I didn’t think you were that drunk.’

‘That’s ‘cause you were comparing me to these wasters,’ you scoffed, aiming a kick at Tig’s foot before thinking better of it.  Never wake a sleeping outlaw.  You’d learnt that lesson the hard way.  ‘I’ll be okay.  I just need water and a shower and I’ll be good as new.’

He nodded, returning to the bar to continue the clean-up, and you followed him, perching on a bar stool and leaning your elbows on the smooth wooden surface.  It was still sticky from the spilled drinks of the previous evening, but you were too tired to care.  ‘You’re up early.’

‘Chapel.’

‘Right, Jax mentioned that.  Serious?’

‘Always is.’

You gave him a wry smile.  ‘Hazards of being an outlaw, huh?’

‘There are worse ways to live.’  He knew your background, your story, how you’d come to end up at T-M.  Most of the guys did, in varying degrees of detail, but Opie had been the first person that Jax had introduced you to, and you’d found he was a good listener, probably because he didn’t talk half as much as the others that made up the SAMCRO table.  Although you weren’t openly obvious about your affection for each other, you felt close to him, knew he’d been through enough shit of his own to know where you were coming from.

‘That there are,’ you agreed, clutching your head again as Clay entered, letting the door swing closed with a skull-splitting bang.  As the sleeping members stirred, grumbling at the rude awakening, you slipped from the stool, shooting Opie a grateful look when he passed you a pint of water that he’d just run from the tap under the bar.  ‘Thanks, Ope.  I’m gonna go take that shower.’

‘No, wait, c’mere.’  Tig had managed to drag himself upright and was now stumbling over to you, wrapping his arms around your neck and burying his face in your hair.  The stench of stale alcohol oozed from every pore of his body, and you twisted your head away from him, though you returned his embrace.  His easy affection made you feel at home, accepted, something that you hadn’t experienced a lot prior to latching on to the MC.  

‘What’s this for?’ you asked, trailing your hand over the reaper on the back of his kutte when he didn’t pull away.  ‘You okay, Tiggy?’

‘Mmhmm.’  You felt him nod, before he confessed, ‘Just need a little help staying upright.’

‘Ahh, man, so do I!’  Chibs approached you from behind, draping himself over your shoulders, until you were locked in place between the two men, giggling uncontrollably.  ‘We’ve finally found a use for her!’

‘You guys suck.’


	2. Chapter 2

‘Did Jax talk to you?’ You glanced up from the stack of invoices on the desk in front of you to see Gemma standing in the doorway of the office, the smoke from her cigarette drifting in and making the air in the room thick and heavy.  ‘About what’s going on with him and Tara?  I noticed she wasn’t around last night.’

‘A little.’  You had to tread carefully where Jax’s mom was concerned.  They were close, perhaps closer than a thirty year old grown man should be to his mother, but you knew he got frustrated when she stuck her nose in to certain aspects of his life.  If he wanted her to know what was happening in his relationship, he’d tell her.  That was your reasoning, so you decided to play it vague.  ‘Just a little tension about everything that’s been going on, I think.  He’s gonna talk to her today.’

‘I can’t work her out,’ Gemma sighed.  ‘I know she loves him, but I just don’t think she’s cut out for this lifestyle.’

‘Protective mom, much?’   You smirked at her and she raised an eyebrow at you.

‘You saying you think she fits in here?’

‘I’m saying maybe you need to give her some time, Gem.  She’s been through a lot, and she’s good for Jax.  She’s done a lot for the club, and for you, you’ve gotta give her that.’

‘It takes more than a few stitches and patching up some beat-up outlaws to make an old lady, Y/N, especially when your man is sitting at the head of the table.’

‘I know,’ you agreed. ‘But you can’t just slip into this world overnight and expect to fit in.  It doesn’t work that way.’

‘Why not?  You did.’

You opened your mouth to argue Tara’s case, before realising that the club mother was actually paying you a hell of a compliment and letting it snap shut again.  You hadn’t really considered before how easy it was for you to find a place here at T-M.  You always figured that it was because you came endorsed by the VP, but then so did Dr Knowles.  She was always first port of call when someone got shot or hurt in the line of duty, and she’d always show up ready and willing to lend a hand and save a life, but you couldn’t imagine her having the same easy relationship with the guys that you did.  

You wondered if Jax talked to her about things like he did you.  There wasn’t a lot he didn’t tell you, unless you specifically asked not to know, particularly about his own personal life.  You probably knew more about the club’s antics than you really should, too, but you knew when to keep your mouth shut.  It wasn’t just Jax though – Opie kept an eye on you, you knew he did.  There wasn’t much that man wouldn’t do for you, and it made you feel warm and safe. He was a gentle giant, and you had a deeper affection for him than most would realise.  Chibs was almost like the father you’d never had, kind but quick to tell you if you were in danger of stepping out of line, always ready with a cuddle and some words of advice if you needed them, and you supposed that would make Tig some sort of eccentric and wildly inappropriate uncle, full of sexual innuendos and flirtatious comments, but with a heart of gold.  He made you laugh.  People underestimated the importance of that.  They were your group, your people, your family.  The others watched out for you too, of course, but they didn’t play as big a role in your life as your ‘core four’.

Gemma was studying you, watching your reaction as your thoughts played out across your face.  She had a smug smirk painted across her features, and you shook your head at her as she slid into place behind the other desk that was crammed in to the small office space.  ‘I’m not trying to be anybody’s old lady, Gem.  It takes the pressure off.  Give Tara a break, okay?  Please.  Just let her and Jax work it out on their own.’

Knowing that she wasn’t about to let the subject lie, you pushed your office chair back and grabbed your empty mug, levering yourself to your feet.  ‘I’m gonna go get a brew.  You want one?’

‘No, I’m good.’

She knew why you were leaving.  She’d been trying to push you and Jax together since you’d proven your worth, though she’d initially been suspicious about the stray that her son wanted to take in.  She was less than subtle, but it was lost on Jax who seemed to only be able to see the doctor, and who could blame him?  They were childhood sweethearts, and she hadn’t long returned when you came to town.  Of course, you wouldn’t get a look in, and you didn’t expect that to change.  What you’d said to Gemma was true – you weren’t trying to be anybody’s old lady.  You were just grateful to have a place here.  That was enough.

As you crossed the yard, you could see the guys working in the garage, some on clients’ cars, some on their own bikes, and you raised a hand in greeting when a couple of them looked your way.

Jax was sitting apart from the others, alone on the picnic benches, and you wandered in his direction, keen to extend your time out of the office.

‘Hey, VP,’ you called out to him as you got nearer.  ‘You doing okay?’

He glanced up, standing to hug you before dropping back down to the bench, picking at a knot in the worn wood of the table.  ‘Yeah, surviving.  How about you, you alright?’

‘I’m good.  Just taking a break, getting some fresh air.’

‘You know, you can ask mom not to smoke in the office if it bothers you.’  He smirked and you elbowed him, shaking your head.

‘I know.  It’s not that.  It’s just kinda stuffy in there.’  You shot him a look, wondering whether to bring up her questioning before deciding that he probably needed to know.  ‘Plus, she’s digging in to what’s going on with you and Tara.  Thinks I’ll tell her whatever it is that you won’t.’

He sighed.  ‘What did you say?’

‘Not much.  Told her she’s just a little tense about what’s going on and that you’re gonna talk to her.’

‘Thanks.’  He reached for your hand on top of the table and squeezed it, his thumb rubbing over your knuckles.  ‘Sorry, I didn’t know she was gonna try and grill you for information.’

‘I’m used to it,’ you reminded him, tugging your hand away to scruff up his hair and pull him down to your shoulder so you could plant a soft kiss on his forehead.  ‘You need to sort it out though, Teller.  I don’t suppose you’re on your way to St. Thomas like, right this second to have that conversation by any chance, are you?’

‘Are you telling me what to do?’  His tone was faux challenging, and you squared your shoulders, drawing yourself up so that you could meet his gaze.  ‘You know I’m the Vice-President of this MC, right?  I don’t take orders from anyone but Clay.’

‘Mmhmm, whatever you say.  Get your sweet ass on that bike and get the hell out of here!’

‘Or what?’

‘Or I’ll tell everyone your deepest darkest secrets.’

‘Shit.’  It was an empty threat and you both knew it.  When Jax confided in you, he knew it would go no further, but it came in handy when you needed to force him into action occasionally.  ‘Alright, alright, I’m going.’

‘Just fix it, Jax.  You know you won’t be happy ‘til you do.’

 

* * *

 

You were just packing up for the day when a loud knock rattled the office door.

‘If you want something, piss off ‘til tomorrow,’ Gemma muttered under her breath, bringing a smirk to Opie’s lips as he stepped inside, growing serious again almost instantly.

‘Have you seen Jax?’

‘He’s at St. Thomas, I think.’  The concern on the biker’s face increased and you stepped out from behind your desk, leaning back on it, your whole body tense.  ‘What’s up, Ope?’

‘Got a call from Caracara. One of the actors got a little rowdy, got into it with a camera guy.  Few of the girls got hurt in the scuffle.’

‘Shit.’

Gemma already had her phone out, dialling her son, shaking her head when it went to voicemail.  ‘Get over there, Opie.  I’ll find Jax.  Y/N-‘

‘I’ll go with you.’ Your eyes were locked on Opie’s, and he nodded in agreement.  You didn’t know what use you could be, but hands were always needed when something like this went down – holding hands, passing tissues, patching up cuts and passing out painkillers.  Someone was bound to need you if you were there as an extra body.  The worst thing when things went wrong was being forced to sit there and not know what was happening.  You preferred to be in the middle of things, knowing you’d be safe with the guys.

‘Take one of the others,’ Gemma instructed.  ‘Just in case.’

You’d never been on the back of a bike before you met Jax.  The idea had always scared you: the vulnerability, being out there on the road, unprotected and exposed.  Now though, it was where you felt most at peace.  You had Opie’s spare helmet on your head, but the wind still whipped your hair up into your eyes, battering your bare arms as you sped through town. There was something freeing about the sensation, like walking along a wild, stormy beach, except you were going somewhere, getting somewhere.  It felt like a pretty good metaphor for life, and as Opie’s stomach muscles tensed under your arms, you held on tighter, huddling into his warmth.  You could see Happy to your left and knew that Chibs was somewhere behind you, both willing volunteers when they’d heard of your intended destination.  Even under the circumstances, you could still see the thrill they got from the ride. No matter what shady business they entered into, SAMCRO was still first and foremost an MC.

Your sense of tranquillity was ripped from you as Opie drew up in the parking lot of the porn studio. There were raised voices spilling out of the door, as frightened looking, half-naked girls made their way unsteadily to their cars, their eyes wide with shock.  As you swung your leg over the bike, unclipping your helmet, you saw Chibs and Happy exchange a look: they were expecting a fight.  Both had handguns somewhere on their bodies, you knew that, but for a moment you were still reluctant to step into the middle of the drama.

‘Hey, you can wait out here if you want.’  Opie was watching you, a frown creasing his brow as he rubbed a gentle hand down your arm, trying to reassure you.  ‘We’ll deal with this.’

‘No,’ you shook your head, grateful to him for the kindness.  ‘I’m good. I wanna stay with you.’

You were shielded on every side by a Son as they made their presence known, slamming into the building with an authority that immediately silenced the conflict that had been raging just moments before.  A well-muscled, oiled-up mechanic was cradling a bloodied fist, one of his eyes sporting a painful looking cut through the brow, while a smaller man bent double, clutching his ribs.  A handful of girls were cowering in the corner, and you could see the bruise already blooming on the thigh of the blonde nearest to you.  

‘What the fuck is going on here?’  Chibs took control, putting himself in the middle of the two men before they could start beating the shit out of each other again.  ‘You’re supposed to be making a porno, not fucking Streetfighter 101.’

Happy was watching over the proceedings with a twisted grin on his face, and you knew he was itching for things to get violent again.  He got off on it in a way you’d never understand, but you knew he’d kill anyone that so much as looked at you the wrong way, so you trusted him nonetheless.

Edging around the stand-off, you made your way over to the girls, your gaze roaming over their exposed bodies, searching for any further injuries.  You could see a few cuts, one on a forehead that looked as though it might need stitches, and more bruising, but nothing too serious, and you squeezed your eyes shut and thanked the reaper for at least making this part easy.

‘Hey, hey, it’s okay.’ You could see that they were badly shaken, scared to move in case they should get caught in the middle of another skirmish, and you kept your voice low to try and soothe their fraught nerves. ‘Come on, let’s get you out of here, get you patched up.’

‘That guy’s a fucking psycho.’  The brunette’s voice was a high-pitched whine, and you gritted your teeth, reminding yourself that she was probably traumatised.

‘I know, but Chibs is dealing with it, okay?  Let’s hole up in one of the changing rooms and take a look at those cuts.’

‘But-‘

‘Hey ladies.’  You were glad to hear Opie approach, blocking their view of Chibs’ attempts at talking down the agitated actor, and taking charge.  ‘We’re gonna need to check you all over, so we’re gonna take you out of here, alright?’

More arguments, heated accusations, and the outlaw dropped into a crouch beside you, reaching out a hand to rest on the knee of the girl with the gash that split her hairline.  ‘I know you’re scared, but we’re here now. Nothing’s gonna happen to you, to any of you.  Please, go with Y/N.  There’s a first aid box in the office,’ he added as an aside to you as they finally scrambled to their feet, trying not to bend their ankles in their skyscraper heels, and allowed you to shepherd them behind the scenes.  ‘Thank you.’

You gave him a small smile before you rounded the corner.  ‘It’s what I’m here for.’


	3. Chapter 3

By the time Jax showed up at Caracara, you’d cleaned the girls up at best you could, pleased to find that your initial assessment had been correct and that most of the injuries were minor, though you still thought the deep gash one of the ladies was sporting on her forehead may need stitching.  Asking them to stay put for a minute, you packed away the unused supplies from the first aid box and carried it back through to the office where the Sons were gathered, having a tense discussion with the hot-headed actor that had kicked off all the trouble in the first place, the camera guy having been sent home with a warning.  It seemed that Opie was taking the lead.  Chibs was pacing back and forth and chipping in with the odd snarled remark when he heard something he didn’t like. 

The actor was fully dressed now, in tracksuit bottoms and a vest top, the greasy overalls gone as, you guessed, was his job.  His eyes followed you as you entered the room, and you thought you saw something flash across his face just for a second, a strange expression that unsettled you and made your stomach knot, but then it was replaced by the same defensive scowl and he went back to his conversation with Opie.  You shook it off, turning your attention to your best friend.  Jax looked exhausted.  He had dark shadows under his eyes, and his hair was sticking out at angles where he’d been running his hands through it.  ‘You okay, Teller?’

‘Fine.’  He shut your enquiry down with a one-word answer, and you knew instantly that things had gone badly with Tara.  Nothing else would leave him looking so wretched.  That made your next question even harder to broach.

‘Look, I hate to ask, Jax, but one of the girls hit her head pretty hard when this asshole fell on her.  It needs stitching or it’s gonna scar like a bitch.’

‘Let her scar.’

‘Jackie, man,’ Chibs weighed in, having heard his unfeeling dismissal.  ‘Her looks are her career.  You’ve gotta get Tara down here, mate.’

‘Her tits are her career.’

‘Jax.’  This wasn’t like him and you realised that his conversation with the doctor had gone even worse than you’d first thought.  His next words confirmed it, and you cursed inwardly, feeling partially responsible for having sent him over to talk to her before he was ready.

‘Tara isn’t coming. If she needs stitches, get her to the hospital.  Not St. Thomas though, take her to Stockton.  Get Tig to run her car into a tree, make it look like she had a smash.  It’s the only way to explain the bruises without bringing the cops around.  Just make sure she knows her story.’

Opie had reached an impasse with the actor who was now sitting back in the office chair with his arms crossed, his gaze focused on you once again.  You fidgeted uncomfortably under the intensity of his stare, your initial bad vibes returning in force, and Jax, noticing, stalked over and backhanded him across the cheek.

‘You don’t look at her,’ he growled, pinching the man’s face between his fingers in a biting grip.  ‘You stay the hell away from my girls, and you don’t ever work in this town again.’

For a moment, you thought he might lash out, fight back, at least argue, but he was outnumbered, and Happy’s fingers were still hovering over the gun at his waist, so he thought better of it, giving a resigned nod.

‘Now, get the fuck out of my sight.’  Jax released him, and silence fell as you watched him scramble from the chair and make a hasty exit.  

‘Everything okay, brother?’ Opie had stepped towards the VP, sensing his distress, and the atmosphere that had descended.

‘Everything’s fine.’ Jax’s tone wasn’t fooling anyone, but the cold smile that spread across his face was even less convincing. ‘Clean up here, then round up the guys.  I feel like drinking tonight.’

As he strode from the room, you exchanged a helpless look with Chibs.  ‘I’ll take care of the lass with the head wound,’ he offered.  ‘Get her over to Stockton Memorial.  I’ll call Tiggy on the way and send him over for her car.’

‘Thanks.’

‘You doing alright, sweetheart?’

‘Yeah,’ you sighed. ‘Just… it’s been a long day.’

‘Aye, well, it’s about to get longer.  I’m counting on you to be at the clubhouse tonight.  Jackie boy needs you.’

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t like you had a choice.  Living in the MC apartments had relatively few drawbacks, but it did make it impossible to get your head down when the crew was partying.  The building practically vibrated with the sound of music and laughter, and the place was overflowing with crow eaters and trusted associates.  You’d waited at Caracara for Tig to return and collect his bike, having ditched the pornstar’s car a few miles down the road, using the opportunity to have a quick look over the books, and now, as he backed his bike into a free space in the line, he let out a devilish chuckle.  

‘Looks like they started without us.’

You yawned as you nodded in acknowledgment, your arms still locked tight around his waist, your body too bone-weary to move.  Something about the day had left you feeling drained and out of sorts, though you couldn’t put your finger on what it was.  The combination of scantily-dressed bodies and violence maybe.  With your history, they were a definite trigger.  ‘I don’t wanna, Tiggy.  Please don’t make me.’

‘Hey sweetheart.’  His hands covered yours, carefully unlocking your fingers so he could remove himself from your grasp and turn his body to look at you.  ‘VP’s having a hard time, alright?  It’s our job to be there for him.’

‘Right,’ you snarked, pulling a face.  ‘I suppose that’s a happier proposition when you know you’re gonna get your dick sucked before sunrise, huh?’

‘Want me to suck your dick? I’ll get down on my knees right here…’ He tailed off as you snorted, shaking your head.  ‘Come on, first round’s on me.’

You reluctantly dismounted, waiting for him to do the same, and, you had to admit that entering the club with his arm slung around your shoulders helped you to find the second wind you needed to get yourself into the spirit.  

‘There she is!’

As you stood at the bar, a set of strong arms wrapped around your waist and you were hauled round into Jax’s embrace as he roared a greeting to Tig and a group of the Tacoma guys that had arrived shortly after you.  You snaked your arms around his neck, pulling him down to your level so that you could kiss his cheek, and study his glazed eyes.  ‘Hey, Teller.’

‘Now the fun can really get started, huh?’

‘You mean, you were waiting for me?’  You gave him a disbelieving look and he chuckled, throwing his arms wide.

‘The night is still young!’

You remained at Jax’s side for next few hours, attempting to match him shot for shot, though you had to tail off when your head started to spin.  You knew he could drink you under the table at the best of times, but when things were hard and it became a crutch, you didn’t stand a chance at keeping up with him.  You excused yourself to go to the bathroom, nodding at Gemma to let her know you had the situation in hand as Jax stumbled into the pool table, upsetting the game in progress and receiving unhappy glares from the players.  Chibs guided him away, steering him towards the couch, and you gave him a grateful smile as you slipped out of the room.

You were shaking your hands dry as you made your way back down the corridor to the bar, when you heard a familiar wheeze and turned the corner to see Piney exiting the men’s room. You hadn’t seen the old man in a while.  According to Ope, he’d been holed up at the cabin, trying to escape the club drama.  Too old for this shit, that was his go-to line these days, but you wished he was around more, for Jax.  The elder Winston had been good friends with John Teller back in the day, and was probably the last positive connection that Jax had to his old man.

‘Piney!’  You greeted him enthusiastically, fuelled by hard liquor, though he returned your embrace, squeezing you tightly.  ‘It’s so good to see you.’

‘It’s like I never left.’ You could hear the exasperation in his voice and hoped that the messiness in the bar wouldn’t drive him away again.  ‘What’s going on with that young man of yours?’

‘Jax?’  You shrugged, leaning back against the wall and crossing your arms.  ‘He isn’t my anything, and you know that.  He’s having a rough time of it with Tara, I think.’

‘He’d be better off pulling his head out of his ass and dealing with it, instead of getting wrecked and acting like a fool.’  It was a harsh judgement coming from somebody whose bloodstream was pretty much 90% proof, but it was fair.  

‘He will.  He’s just getting it out of his system first.’

‘Well, don’t you let him drag you down with him, you hear me?’  He gave you a knowing look.  ‘You’re a good girl, Y/N.’

When you re-entered the bar, Jax was on his feet again, waving a mostly empty bottle of tequila around whilst holding court over the prospects.  The young lads looked bored and a little concerned, and you could see Clay watching from the corner with a dark look in his eyes.

You started to make your way over, ready to do some damage control, when a hand squeezed your shoulder, and you glanced up to see Opie standing beside you.  ‘Everything okay?’

‘Yeah.  I’m gonna try and get him back to one of the apartments, I think.  Any more of that and he won’t be able to stand.’

Ope nodded, though his brow was still creased with a frown.  ‘You gonna be alright with him?’

‘Should be.’  You brushed a drop of beer off of his kutte, noticing how his eyes followed your fingertip as it traced down the edge of his Men of Mayhem patch.  ‘I’ll holler if I need you, I promise.’

Jax’s back was to you as you approached him, and you decided to try and coax him back to his room the easy way, rather than ordering him away from the party like a child.  Giving yourself a few steps run up, you leapt onto his back, securing yourself with your arms around his neck as he swayed unnervingly, letting the bottle of liquor drop to the floor and smash.  Okay, so it probably hadn’t been your best idea, but you may as well see it through now.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, feeling his hands instinctively catch you under your thighs as you planted a sloppy kiss on the side of his neck.

‘Hey, Teller, this party blows.  Come watch a movie with me!’

‘Can we take the beer with us?’

You lowered your voice.  ‘No, but I think you’ll thank me for that in the morning.’

He hesitated, and you dug your heels into his sides, giggling when he shook you a little to get you to loosen your grip.  ‘Fine!  Let’s go.  It’s a good thing you’re cute.’

‘You heading out, Jackie?’ Chibs called from across the bar, having been keeping an eye on the both of you in your increasingly intoxicated state.

‘Yeah, man.  What can I say?  She wants me!’

 

* * *

 

Back in the apartment that Jax had earmarked for whenever he got too wasted to make it home, he deposited you unceremoniously on the bed, collapsing next to you and rolling towards you as his fingers trailed over your ribs, tickling mercilessly while you squirmed.

‘Get off of me!’  You eventually managed to push him away, the both of you gasping for air as your laughter faded out, and he finally lay still at your side.  ‘So, are you gonna tell me what happened today or what?’

‘I don’t wanna talk about it.’

‘Come on, Teller.’ You nudged him with your foot, turning your head to look at him.  ‘You’ve gotta talk to someone.  I take it it didn’t go well.’

He didn’t respond, and you shuffled closer to him, lifting your head up so he could stretch his arm out, letting you rest against his shoulder.  You knew from past experience that he’d open up.  You just needed to let the quiet roll on for a little longer.

‘She wants to be with me,’ he slurred.

‘Crazy bitch,’ you teased, but he shut you down quickly with a wounded look.  ‘Sorry.’

‘She wants to be with me, but she wants to be all in, with the club and everything.’

‘Well, that sounds like good news to me.’

‘No.’  You could feel his body tense, his muscle flexing beneath your head and you turned on to your side to nestle into him, wrapping your arm around his chest in an attempt to offer him some comfort.  ‘I can’t let her do that, Y/N.  It’ll ruin her life, and she’ll end up resenting me for it.  I don’t want her to end up hating me because I can’t be the man she wants me to be.’

‘Jax, she loves you.’

He shook his head, rubbing his free hand over his eyes.  ‘It doesn’t matter.  It’s over.  I’ve told her I’m done.’

‘You need to think about what you’re doing, sweetheart.’

‘I don’t wanna think about it.  I’m not thinking about it.’  He leaned over you, pushing you down until you were lying on your back again, his breath ghosting over your face as the atmosphere shifted, becoming heavy with something unfamiliar.  You could feel the heat emanating from him as his eyes locked on to yours, his fingers lacing in to your hair to hold you in place, as a look of realisation passed over his face.  ‘I’m thinking about you.’

‘Jax.’  It came out as a whisper as you waited to see what he’d do next.  Your heart was racing, your face flushed with the alcohol and the moment that was passing between you.  ‘What are you doing?’

He just smiled, and then his lips crashed down onto yours.


	4. Chapter 4

Jax tasted like tequila and cigarettes as his mouth moved on yours.  It was hypnotic and delicious, and for a moment you forgot all of the reasons why it was a bad idea.  How many times had you imagined what this would be like?  How long had you wished that there was something more between you than friendship?  It felt surreal, dreamlike as his hand roamed down over your hip, before sliding under your tank top, his touch hot against your skin.  But, seconds later, a moment of clarity hit you as the sounds of laughter and doors slamming drifted down the corridor and brought you crashing back down to earth.  You broke away, turning your head so you could gasp out his name.

‘Jax.  Jax, we need to stop.’

‘Why?’  His weight was still on top of you as he planted open-mouthed kisses down your neck, sucking on the sensitive skin above your collarbone in a way that brought a desperate whimper from your lips.

‘Jax, please.’  You planted your hands on his chest, easing him away from you, and he pulled back, looking down at your flushed face with confusion painted across his features.  ‘We can’t do this.’

‘You’re really telling me to stop?’

‘You don’t want me, Jax, you know you don’t.  You’re just trying to hurt Tara, to push her away.’

‘That’s not-‘

‘Jax!’  Your raised voice silenced him and he dropped back down to lay against his pillow with a growl of frustration.  ‘I’m gonna go, okay?  You should get some sleep.’

‘You don’t have to leave.’

‘Yes, I really do.’  You bent down to press your lips to his forehead, a small demonstration that there were no hard feelings, before you slipped off the bed and hurried to the door, afraid that your resolve may crumble if you stayed.

He let out a huff of indignation as it clicked shut behind you.

 

* * *

 

The club was in darkness when you stumbled back in, aiming to put some distance between yourself and your inebriated best friend, only the glow of the jukebox and the lights in the yard shining through the windows illuminating the room, and you tripped on a fallen chair in your attempt to get to the couch.  A large hand wrapped around your arm, stopping you from falling, and you looked up into Opie’s eyes, sensing his smile though his face was in shadow. 

‘Woah, careful.  You okay?’  He kept a hold of you until you’d managed to sit down without hurting yourself, his grasp firm and steady despite the slight slur to his voice that told you he was just as drunk as you were.  You nodded in answer to his question, though you still felt strung out and a little dizzy.  ‘I thought everyone had gone for the night.  I can put the lights on if you-‘

‘No.’  You held up your hand to cut him off, glad that he couldn’t see the turmoil on your face.  ‘It’s fine.  I like it better like this.’

‘Me too.’

He crossed back to the bar, working quietly to tidy up the worst of the mess and leaving you to your thoughts.  Your heart was still racing, your skin feeling uncomfortably hot, as you replayed the kiss with Jax, wishing more than anything that he’d been kissing you for you rather than as a cruel jab at Tara.  You’d thought your friendship was worth more than that, and yet you knew that he hadn’t been in a state to be making logical decisions.  You should have ended it before it even began, as soon as you saw the thought cross his mind, but your own inhibitions were lowered and it hadn’t dawned on you straight away what a mistake it would be.

‘How’s he doing?’ Opie spoke up from where he was gathering empty glasses across the room, dragging you from your reverie back into the present. 

‘Messy,’ you admitted.  You watched as he deposited his haul on the bar top, before shrugging out of his jacket and draping it over one of the stools, his muscles shifting beneath his thin shirt as he reached for an empty crate of bottles and carried it through into the back room, reappearing moments later.

‘And you?’

‘Messy, too.’  At his enquiring look, you shrugged.  ‘It’s been a weird day.’

He nodded, snagging a beer before making his way over to you.  ‘You seemed kinda rattled after what went down at Caracara.  I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have taken you.’

‘I was happy to help,’ you reassured him as he dropped down beside you.  ‘It was just that guy.’  You pictured him again, the way he was staring at you, the malicious quirk of his mouth, before shaking yourself to clear your head of the image.  ‘I don’t know, he just gave me the creeps, I guess.’

‘You know I wouldn’t have let him lay a finger on you, don’t you?’  

Opie was looking down at you, his expression so sincere that you couldn’t help but reach out a hand to stroke over his cheek.  ‘I know.’

Your eyes were locked on his, the hazel irises dark in the gloom of the bar, and a shiver ran through you when he didn’t look away.  The moment stretched out for a beat longer before you pulled your fingers back from his face, glancing around to break the tension that had built between you.  ‘So, how’re you doing?  I feel like I haven’t really checked in for a while.’

He shrugged.  ‘Can I go with messy as well?’

‘I think it’s going around.  Things seem extra crazy round here lately.’

You heard a cackle of high-pitched laughter from the yard, and recognised the deep rumble of Tig’s voice, before an engine roared to life and the noise gradually faded into the distance.  

‘Sounds like some people are handling it better than others,’ Opie observed, and you smirked.

‘You didn’t fancy indulging in some mindless fuckery to ease the burden?’

He shook his head, taking a sip of beer, before slouching down further on the couch, resting his feet on the low coffee table in front of you.  ‘Nah, I haven’t… Not since Donna.  Just hasn’t felt right, I guess.’

‘Right.  I’m sorry.’  You shifted uncomfortably, sinking lower yourself, your shoulder brushing his as the cushions sagged beneath you.  You thought he might inch away, not usually being one to display physical affection as easily as the others, but instead he stretched out an arm, draping it across your shoulders.  You settled against him, noting how warm his body was next to yours, how good he smelt as the heady musk of his cologne washed over you, and couldn’t fight the contented sigh that slipped from your lips.

‘What about you?’

You glanced up at him, your brow creasing in confusion.  ‘What about me?’

‘You’re not indulging?’

‘No.’  You turned further into him, drawing your legs up onto the couch, and nestling into his shoulder, your fingers trailing down his chest to rest on his stomach, causing him to tense at the contact.  ‘No, I’m just… here.’

‘D’you miss it?’

‘What?  Sex?’  You thought about it for a moment, wondering how to respond.  He knew your history, he knew that it might be a sensitive subject, but he was choosing to bring it up so you decided to be honest.  ‘Most of the time, not really.  It just… It brings back too many memories.  It’s hard to trust people, you know, to let them touch me like that.  But, right now, yeah, I miss it.’

You’d avoided his gaze as you spoke, noting how his hand had slipped to rest on your hip, his fingers stroking along the bottom of your t-shirt where it had gotten rucked up, revealing an inch of bare skin, sensitive to the touch.  ‘It hadn’t even occurred to me that trust might be a big thing for you.  Sorry, that sounded-’

‘No, it’s okay.’

‘I guess, seeing the way you are with the guys, you make it look so easy, putting up with them all over you.’

‘It is easy.’  You glanced up, finding him watching you with an intensity that you weren’t used to.  ‘I trust you, all of you.  I know you wouldn’t hurt me.’

He drained the rest of his beer, reaching down to rest the bottle on the floor.  The movement put some distance between you, but he pulled you back against his chest as he settled back into place, his free hand covering yours where it came to rest on his stomach once more, the cool metal of his rings like ice against the fever building inside of you.

The arm wrapped around you had sought out the curve of your waist, sliding your shirt upwards even further as his fingers danced over your skin, playing havoc with your nerve endings.  Your pulse was racing, and when you tried to speak, your voice was barely more than a whisper.  ‘How about you?  You miss it?’

When he didn’t answer, you lifted your head to meet his gaze, and he leant down to rest his forehead against yours, so close that you could taste the smoke on his breath.  His eyes were dark, his grip on you tightening as you slipped your hand up his chest to the back of his neck.  ‘Tonight I do.’

His words brought a soft whimper from your lips as you pulled yourself up his body until your lips were millimetres from his, and still you didn’t kiss him, too unsure, hesitant, scared that he was going to pull away at any moment.  You didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the need that Jax had awoken within you and left wanting, but you thought you might scream if he rejected you now.

‘Y/N.’  His voice was a hoarse rasp, barely audible over the sound of your breathing as your desire took over.  ‘How wasted are you?’

‘Not so wasted that you should feel bad.’ 

‘You’re sure you want this?’

‘Just kiss me, Ope.  Please.’ 

The last word fell from your lips as a needy whine, and it broke through his last wall of resistance as, with a low growl, he closed the gap between you, his mouth crashing down on yours.  He kissed you with a fervour you hadn’t expected, his beard scratching against your skin, moaning into your mouth as your fingers trailed down his arms, biting into his biceps as you tried to keep yourself from melting away.  It was different from your kiss with Jax – even in his eagerness, Opie was gentler, his lips softer as they moved on yours – and yet, that difference just fuelled your hunger and you found your body was trembling as he pulled you onto his lap.

Through your drunken haze, you vaguely registered him easing your shirt over your head, a deep chuckle vibrating through him when your hair got caught up in the fabric and he carefully pulled it free.  And then somehow, there were no more barriers.  You were skin to skin, and your hands were mapping his broad shoulders, moving down over his firm stomach until you found the smooth metal of his belt buckle.

He shifted his position, twisting you around so that he could lay you back on the couch and lower himself down on top of you, his weight pinning you in place as he propped himself up on his elbows, peering down at you intently, needing to check in with you one more time, though you were too far gone now to even think about saying no.

‘Take your hair down,’ you instructed, waiting while he complied and his soft brown locks fell around your face, forming a barrier between the two of you and the rest of the world.

You loved how greedy he was with you, his lips only leaving yours to ghost down your neck as he teased you, his fingers moving lightly over your curves as he explored your sweat-slicked body, seeking out the secret places that made you gasp and beg him for more.  You felt reckless and wanton as you squirmed beneath him, but it was evident that he wanted this as much as you did, as you barely had time to catch your breath before he was slamming in to you with a guttural groan.

You lost yourself then, in the thrilling combination of devastating kisses and Opie’s steady rhythm as he brought you the edge time and time again, never faltering, reading every reaction that he coaxed from you and giving you exactly what you needed.  You only had one lucid moment when it suddenly seemed bizarre and surreal that it was Opie buried deep inside of you, then your name fell from his lips and you fell back under his spell.

As his pace faltered and his muscles tensed, you clawed at his back, squeezing your eyes tight shut as the sensation overwhelmed you once more, culminating in a wave that dragged the both of you under and into sleep shortly afterwards, as he cradled you to him like you were something precious and fragile.

 

* * *

 

The first thing you were aware of when you woke the next morning was the intense pounding in your head. The second was the feeling of bare skin beneath your fingers, and when your eyes flickered open, you could see the inked script that stretched across Opie’s chest as it rose and fell.  The events of the previous evening came back to you in a rush that brought a flush to your cheeks and a knot to your stomach all at once.  What had you been thinking?  Jax’s actions were still weighing heavy on your heart, but turning to Opie…  If this ruined things between you, you’d never forgive yourself.

You moved to sit up, using the back of the couch for support as you tried not to disturb the sleeping outlaw, though the groan that escaped you as the pain behind your eyes increased caused him to stir.

‘Morning.’  Opie’s voice was thick with tiredness as his fingers drifted over your spine, and you turned to see that he was looking up at you with uncertainty creasing his brow.

‘Morning.’

‘How are you feeling?’

‘Like death,’ you admitted, and a soft laugh rumbled from his chest.  ‘You?’

‘I’m good, I think.’ He was hedging, you could tell, unsure how you were going to handle this situation, and waiting to take your lead.  You weren’t entirely sure yourself where to go from here.  Was it better to just pretend it never happened or should you talk about it?  It had been so easy last night.  Opie was there and you trusted him, so why not indulge, but now, with his marks still marring your skin, you couldn’t help but regret that you might have taken advantage of him.  Were you really the first woman he’d been with since Donna?  Why you and not one of the many willing sweet butts that must throw themselves at him each night?  Questions for another time, perhaps, when you were in a less delicate state.

‘How are you not hungover?  I swear you drank just as much as I did.’

‘Yeah, well, I’m a big guy.’

‘Yeah, I can feel that.’ The words fell from your lips before you could stop them, driven by the tell-tale ache between your thighs, and you felt heat rush to your face as you dropped your gaze to the floor.  ‘I need to pee.’

He was blocking you in, his long body stretched out beside you, forcing you to straddle him to get off the couch, and his hands grasped your hips before you could move away, holding you in place as his gaze drifted to your kiss-bruised lips.  He looked different in the morning light - his long hair sprawled across the cushion behind him, his mouth swollen, his eyes shining - handsome, even, and it was instinct that made you dip down to kiss him again, smiling against his lips when he refused to let you pull away.  Even without the effects of the alcohol, the kiss still made your whole body tingle, and it was only the nagging of your bladder that forced you to pull his hand from the back of your neck so that you could clamber off of him and retrieve your clothes, scolding yourself for being so weak.  You were just going to make this more awkward in the long-run.

You shimmied into your shorts, pulling your boots on after them, but a quick scan of the immediate area didn’t reveal your tank top anywhere.  ‘I can’t find my shirt.  Is it okay if I steal this?’  

You vaguely remembered your frustration the night before when you’d unbuttoned Opie’s top only to find another layer underneath, so you knew he could spare the plaid shirt that you were holding up.

‘Sure.’

You slipped it on, shaking your head when it fell almost to your knees, but decided it would do for now.

You left him to get dressed, heading for the toilets but finding yourself brought up short when Jax exited the shower room and walked straight into you, a towel around his waist and his hair damp and tousled.

‘Oh, morning.’  You glanced down self-consciously, wondering if he’d notice that you were wearing his best friend’s clothing.  ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Like shit.’  He gave you a wry smile, but you could see the dark circles under his eyes and the clammy sheen to his skin.  ‘How’re you?’

‘About the same.’

He stepped towards you, reaching for your hand and lacing his fingers through yours.  ‘Y/N, about last night…’  He tailed off as he noticed the dark red marks trailing down your neck.  ‘Shit, did I do that?  I thought-’

Before he could continue, he was interrupted by Opie’s voice drawing nearer.

‘Hey, Y/N, I found your-‘ He cut off abruptly as he rounded the corner and saw Jax, though your tank top dangling from his fingers betrayed exactly what had happened between the two of you.  ‘Oh, sorry, I didn’t realise…’

‘Nah, man.’  Jax had dropped your hand and was backing away, inching towards his room, a look of realisation dawning on his face as he registered your borrowed attire.  ‘I’m sorry.  I’ll leave you alone.’

‘Jax.’  You didn’t know what you wanted to say, but you felt like you should say something, though he was gone before you could get any further than bleating his name, his apartment door clicking shut behind him.

‘I’m sorry.’  Opie looked dejected, standing in the corridor, with your top still clenched in his fist.  ‘Is he okay?’

‘I’m not sure.’  You stepped towards him to take the vest, unable to resist pushing yourself up on tiptoes to steal one more taste of him when you saw the concern that pulled his mouth down into a frown.  Hell, you couldn’t make things any worse at this point.  ‘I need to talk to him.  I’ll see you later, okay, Ope?’


	5. Chapter 5

Jax answered the door on your first knock and you were grateful, the sharp rap of your knuckles against the wood having penetrated deep into your pounding head.  He was semi-clothed now, a pair of baggy jeans resting low on his hips.  

‘You wanna try this again?’ you asked, cocking your head to one side and quirking an eyebrow at him.  ‘Hi Jackson, how’re you this morning?’  

You stepped forward to embrace him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pushing yourself up to kiss his cheek, relieved when his arms automatically snaked around your waist.  When you went to move away, he held you tighter, his head dropping into the crook of your neck, and you reached up to stroke his hair, breathing in the clean, soapy scent of him fresh out of the shower.  ‘I’m sorry, Y/N.  About last night and storming off out there.  I don’t know what I’m doing.’

‘It’s okay,’ you reassured him, and it was.  Any humiliation that you’d felt the night before had faded away in the light of the morning and with Opie’s special brand of healing.  You knew he’d been hurting, and he knew you were the one he could go to when things got hard.  So, this time the boundaries had gotten a little blurred, that’s all.  It wasn’t worth dwelling on.  ‘Let’s just forget about it, Teller, alright?  Come on.’

You pulled away from him, stepping into the room and closing the door behind you as he headed to his chest of drawers and began rifling through for a clean t-shirt to wear. The muscles in his back shifted as he searched, the reaper inked there staring you down, and you forced your eyes to look elsewhere, focusing instead on the unmade bed, which you half-heartedly straightened before falling onto the covers and closing your eyes.  

‘Guessing you didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.’  Jax’s voice was half-teasing, half-judgemental, and you shook your head, refusing to look at him.  ‘You and Ope, huh?  Can’t say I saw that one coming.’

‘It’s not.’  You rolled onto your stomach, burying your face in the pillow, then instantly regretting it when you were assaulted with the smell of stale beer and sweat.  ‘It’s not like that.  It was just…’ You tailed off, unsure how to continue. ‘We’re friends, y’know?’

‘Pretty good friends.’ You felt the mattress shift as Jax dropped down beside you, stretching out with his arms behind his head.  ‘It’s okay if you like him, Y/N.’

You sighed.  ‘I don’t, not like that.  I was just… upset and very, very drunk.  It was fun, and I think I needed it, but that’s all it was.’

‘Does Opie know that?’ You glared at him, and he gave you a knowing look.  ‘He’s not like the rest of us, darlin’.  He was faithful to Donna, and, far as I know, he hasn’t been with anyone since…’

‘He told me that,’ you admitted.  ‘Before.  He said it didn’t feel right.’

‘Until now, I guess.’

‘Right.’  You considered this for a moment, remembering the serene smile that had crossed his expression when he’d woken up beside you, the shine to his eyes when he’d held you in place as you straddled him, teasing, tempting you in for lazy kisses.  ‘So, what, you think he likes me or something?’

‘I don’t know.’ He shrugged, reaching across to the bedside table for his cigarettes and sliding one from the pack.  ‘Would that be a bad thing?’

‘I’m not looking to be anyone’s old lady, Jax.’

‘I’m not sure Opie needs another old lady.’  He lit up, inhaling deeply, and blowing smoke rings towards the ceiling.  ‘I think maybe he just needs someone he can trust.’

 

* * *

 

You’d spent a couple of hours with Jax, eating cereal and watching cartoons, your hangovers causing you to regress to old childhood habits, and then you’d crashed out, exhausted, and he’d left you to sleep, knowing it was your day off.

It was early afternoon when you woke and managed to drag yourself back to your own apartment and into the shower, letting the steaming hot water wash away the last traces of alcohol from the night before.  Standing naked in front of the mirror in your room, you watched as the water droplets fell from your hair, trailing down your neck and over your collarbone, where the skin was marred with dark red and purple marks: Opie’s marks. Your cheeks flushed at the thought, and you turned away from your reflection, towelling yourself dry and pulling on some old jeans and a tank top.  

A quick check of your cupboards revealed that you were out of coffee, so you shoved your feet into a pair of battered flip flops and shuffled down the corridor and into the bar, breathing a sigh of relief when you found it empty.  There was a pot of coffee sitting on the countertop and, when you cupped it with your hands, it was still warm, so you poured a cup and carried it with you to the couch, sinking down with a loud groan.  Every movement felt like effort today, your muscles aching.  Images of the things you’d done on those same leather cushions came back to you in an onslaught and you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to rid yourself of the visions.  What had you been thinking?  Anyone could have walked in and caught you and Opie in the act, and how embarrassing would that have been?  And yet, your skin hummed at the memory of his touch.  Was Jax right?  Was there more to it for Ope than just a one night stand?  You hoped not.  You’d meant what you’d said – you weren’t looking to get into a relationship.  It wouldn’t be fair anyway, with your feelings for Jax churning in your stomach, but Opie was a good guy.  You didn’t want to hurt him.

The door from the yard swung open, interrupting your thoughts, and Tig walked in with Juice close behind him, the latter immediately heading for the bar, whilst the other dropped down beside you.

‘Well, don’t you just look fresh as a daisy.’  You glared at him and he laughed, leaning over to kiss your cheek before pulling back to study you appraisingly.  ‘Well, I’ll be damned.  Looks like somebody made a mess of you last night!’

Rolling your eyes, you slouched down further in your seat, hunching your shoulders up as though by doing so you could hide the evidence of your night of lust.  ‘Drop it, Tiggy, please.’

‘Oh, c’mon, it isn’t often we see you let your hair down!  Who was it, huh?  One of the Tacoma prospects?’

So, he didn’t know. You’d been half afraid that either Opie or Jax would let slip what had happened, and then everyone would be fully briefed on your sex life before the day was out.  Gossip spread fast amongst the MC ranks, but Tig was still looking at you incredulously, waiting for you to fill him in on all the juicy details.  ‘Just stop.  It’s none of your business, okay?’

He held his hands up, his face growing serious as he watched you twisting your mug in your fingers. ‘You alright, princess?’

‘I’m fine.’  You gave him a tight smile.  ‘Just still feeling the hangover a little, that’s all.’

‘Yeah, tell me about it.  I woke up under these two blonde chicks!  Man, I don’t know what the hell we did but I’ve got this knot in my back that’s driving me crazy!’

The atmosphere lightened as you giggled at him, scooting closer to inspect his injury as he twisted round and lifted the back of his shirt up to reveal a bruise blossoming beside his spine.  ‘No wonder it hurts, you idiot.’

‘It wasn’t the girls.’ Juice had reappeared with a couple of beers, one of which he passed to Tig, before perching on the edge of the pool table.  ‘That was from falling off the bar halfway through your very impressive limbo demonstration.’

‘Limbo?’  Tig’s brow creased in confusion.  ‘As in, like, the dance with the pole?’

‘Yep.’  Juice was smirking.  ‘You kept insisting you could go lower.’

‘Fuck.’

‘Best thing was there was no pole, and you really can’t get that low, old man.’

You dissolved into hysterical laughter then, shaking with mirth as tears rolled down your cheeks. ‘Oh man, what the hell were you on last night?’

‘I smoked a joint with one of the Tacoma guys.  Asshole must’ve laced it with something!’

That brought on more bouts of laughter and your belly ached by the time you’d managed to calm yourself, wiping your face with the back of your hand.  ‘Sounds like I missed all the fun.’

‘Not all of it,’ Tig commented, his gaze drifting back to the hickeys on your neck, and you scoffed.

‘Jealous, Tiggy?’

‘You know I am.’

You reached over to ruffle his hair affectionately and he winked at you, taking a swig of his beer before offering you the bottle.  ‘Oh God, no.’  You shook your head, raising your coffee to your nose and letting the aroma overwhelm the scent of alcohol.  ‘I’m never drinking again.’

‘We’ve all heard that before.’  You felt yourself grow uncomfortably warm as Opie entered the bar just in time to hear your declaration, perching on the arm of the sofa beside Tig and shooting you a sheepish smile as he took in the bruises on your throat.  ‘You still suffering, Y/N?’

‘She’s feeling a little delicate,’ Tig answered for you, a lascivious grin creeping back onto his face.  ‘But I think that may be down the pounding some lucky bastard gave her last night, rather than the drink.’

‘I told you to stop.’ Your venomous tone cut short his burst of laughter and he looked suitably contrite, though Opie was staring at the floor, rolling a cigarette between his fingers, you suspected more for something to do than because he intended to smoke it at that exact moment. ‘Just because you like to broadcast all of your encounters to the entire club, doesn’t mean we all have to.  Right, Ope?’

That got his attention again and he nodded, finally glancing up to meet your eyes.  ‘Right.’

The group fell silent and you sighed heavily.  You felt bad for snapping at Tig.  You knew he was just surprised, unable to believe you’d finally decided to indulge more fully in the MC lifestyle.  None of the guys had ever seen you so much as kiss anyone, though it wasn’t something they questioned or tried to goad you into, so it was definitely a talking matter when you showed up the morning after a heavy night looking… well, like you did.

You were grateful when Clay walked in, cutting through the tension as he began to issue orders, always on duty.  ‘Tig, Laroy called.  He needs to meet this afternoon, but Jax is with the Tacoma guys helping them sort out some issues and I’ve got a meeting with the Irish at four.  I need you to take Juice and Ope and head over there, see what the Niners need to talk about that can’t wait ‘til tomorrow.’

‘He’s not gonna like that,’ Ope spoke up and Tig nodded in agreement.

‘I don’t give a shit whether he likes it or not.  If he wants to meet now he has to settle for who we have available.  I can’t afford to piss off Hayes and, right now, he’s more valuable to us.’

‘Whatever you say, Cap.’  Tig drained his drink, pushing himself up from the couch.  ‘I’ll call you on the prepay if we need a little Presidential input.’

Clay nodded, before turning to you and drawing an envelope out of his back pocket.  ‘Gemma asked me to give you this.  She found it under the office door this morning.’

You held out your hand for the letter, noting that there was no address, just your name marked out in thick black letters.  You ripped it open, pulling out the single sheet inside and feeling your heartbeat falter as you processed the words in front of you.  You knew the colour had drained from your face, could feel ice spreading through your veins as your brain clouded over.  ‘Sorry, Clay, you said Jax was…’

‘Not here. There a problem?’

You tore your gaze away from the paper clutched in your fingers to find four pairs of eyes fixed on you, each of them filled with concern.  

‘Uh, no.’  You crumpled the sheet into a ball, squeezing it tight in your fist, a desperate attempt to hide the shaking of your hands.  ‘No, no problem.  I think I need to… sleep some more, that’s all.  I don’t feel so good.’  

You needed to get out of there.  You needed to be alone.  You couldn’t breathe.  Panic had taken a hold and you knew it was obvious from the way the men stood as you did, ready to jump in if you needed them to support you.  ‘Honestly, guys, I’m fine,’ you lied, backing away, edging towards the corridor.  ‘I just need…’

You didn’t bother to find another excuse, just turned on your heel and disappeared.


	6. Chapter 6

_FINDER’S KEEPERS._

Even if you hadn’t recognised the thick black script, each letter clearly inked in a heavy marker, the symbol at the top of the page would have immediately clued you in to the sender’s identity.  You would never forget it.  It haunted your dreams, plaguing you incessantly with memories and what-ifs. The downwards pointing sword, the snake winding its way up the blade, fangs bared, poised and ready to attack as it peered at you from over the cross guard, a single rose slipped between its body and the cool metal, in full bloom to one side of the hilt.  It represented brutal death, a warning to anybody attempting to move in on their patch; a venomous bite, delivered through the law enforcement and local politicians they had on their payroll; and beauty, for the girls they sold to the highest bidders, with no terms or conditions attached. Your brother and his men, the people you thought you’d escaped.

The paper between your fingers was crumpled and you smoothed it out now without thinking, your mind reeling as you realised the true momentousness of the message you held. This was your life as you knew it being upended, again, and the loss hit you like a freight train.  You’d thought you were safe here, running with the local outlaws, building yourself a family within their ranks, but you should have known they wouldn’t scare your brother.  Aaron’s ego was a force to be reckoned with.

A knock at the door tore you from your thoughts and you hastily shoved the letter under your pillow, straightening the bedding before you called for your visitor to come in, relieved when it was Jax that stepped into the room.  

‘Hey, you alright?’ He ran his fingers through his hair, tucking the loose strands back into place, and you realised that he must have only just got back from his run with the Tacoma guys.  ‘Mom said you were asking for me.’

This was it. Your chance to tell him your fears, to let him know it was all over, but you couldn’t force the words out. Telling him now would mean having to make a decision: fight or run.  Fighting would put the lives of the guys you’d come to love at risk, but running… that would mean leaving them behind and you weren’t ready to deal with that yet.

‘Yeah.’  You nodded dumbly, still weighing up your options until you saw the concern on Jax’s face intensify and gave yourself a mental shake.  ‘Yeah, I mean, I’m fine.  I just… I wanted to ask, that charity ride you guys are doing next week, that’s a real thing, right?  I mean, like, actually for a good cause and not a front for something else.’

‘Yeah, it’s legit.’ He dropped down onto the bed, leaning his elbows on his knees.  ‘Why? You wanna come along?’

‘If that’s cool with you.’  The idea had hit you out of nowhere, but now you couldn’t get it out of your head. Three days, that’s all you’d be away for, but it would buy you some time and space to think through your next move. ‘I’ll pack light, I promise.’

Jax smirked at you. ‘Yeah, I’ve heard that before. Let me run it past Clay, but I can’t see it being a problem.’

‘Thank you.’

‘This mean you’ve spoken to Opie?’

‘What?’  Your brain was still too busy to fully comprehend what he was suggesting and you knew your confusion was evident on your face. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘I just figured, if you wanted to come on the run, maybe it’s ‘cause there’s someone you don’t wanna be away from.’

‘I told you, it’s not like that.’

‘Whatever you say. I’ll tell Ope he’s gonna have a passenger.’

‘Stop.’  You sat down beside him and gave him a half-hearted shove, though he let it carry him backwards, flopping back onto the bed with his arms spread-eagled.  ‘You’re not getting rid of me that easy, Teller.’

 

* * *

 

A cool blast of air drifted in as Chibs entered the bar from the yard and you felt it raise goosebumps over your arms as you took a sip of the lukewarm beer you’d been nursing. It was quiet in the clubhouse, just a you and a few of the Sons, and you were grateful for the calm.  You hadn’t fancied spending the evening alone in your room with your thoughts, but you definitely weren’t up for a party.  

‘Evening, lass.’ The Scotsman leant over you to press a kiss to your cheek as he moved past the table where you, Jax and Opie had been talking quietly over your drinks.  ‘Boys.’

They nodded in greeting as he headed for the bar, helping himself to a bottle of whiskey when it became apparent that there was no one on duty to serve him.

‘You want anything?’ Opie was levering himself up from the chair beside you to grab another beer, but you declined, unable to face anything else after the previous night’s overindulgence.  Your stomach was still churning a little and your head felt tender, as though it wouldn’t take much to set it pounding again.  ‘Jax?’

The VP was sitting opposite you, his attention focused on his cellphone.  

‘Nah, I’m good, brother.’  Jax drained the last dregs from his bottle, setting it down on the table and slipping his cell into his pocket.  ‘I think I’m gonna head out, swing by Tara’s place.’

Opie nodded, heading for the bar where he struck up a conversation with Chibs, whilst you pushed yourself to your feet to embrace your best friend as he stood to leave.  

‘You need to fix that, Jackson.’  You smiled as his lips brushed your forehead, though you kept your tone firm.  ‘Be nice to her.’

‘I’m always nice.’ He gave you a lazy grin as he stepped away.  ‘You gonna be alright?’

‘Yeah, I’m good.’ You nodded, knowing that he would stay if he thought you needed him.  ‘I’m probably gonna turn in soon anyway.’

‘Right, get some sleep.  I’ll check in with you in the morning about the run.’

You returned to your seat, watching as he called goodnight to Tig and Juice who were engaged in an overly competitive game of pool across the room.  You found yourself laughing as they tussled with each other, spurred on by Chibs as he gave a shout of encouragement.  ‘C’mon Juicy, you’ve gotta beat him now!  Me and Opie have got next!’

You felt yourself relax as you listened to their easy banter, once again grateful for this brotherhood that had accepted you into their ranks.  Even with your stress levels still peaked, you enjoyed the company they offered, though you kept your distance as the game continued, letting their good spirits wash over you.  How could you possibly walk away from this?  You’d been lucky enough to stumble across one family willing to take you in. The chances of that happening again were slim to none and you weren’t ready to give this up yet.

‘You alright over there, princess?’ Tig winked at you when you caught his eye, and you nodded, raising your beer to him before taking another mouthful.  

‘Just chillin’, Tiggy.’

‘Hey, how about you and me against these jokers next round, huh?’  You knew he was trying to get you involved, worried by how quiet you were being, but you didn’t have the energy to partake.  ‘C’mon, we’ll wipe the floor with these assholes.’

‘Maybe next time?’ You shrugged apologetically, giving up on your drink and setting it on the table.  ‘I think I’m done.’

You began gathering up the dirty glasses that were clustered on the surface in front of you, preparing to take them up to the bar, when Chibs came to give you a hand, taking them from you and freeing you up to retrieve the empty bottles.  ‘You alright, lass?  You don’t seem yourself.’

‘I’m alright, Chibby. I’m just still a little delicate after last night, that’s all.  I haven’t hit it that hard in quite a while.  I’m out of practice.’  

He wrapped you up in his arms, pulling you against the smooth leather of his kutte and squeezing you tight.  ‘You know I’m here if you need anything, don’t you, love?’

So, he’d heard about the letter and your reaction to it.  You knew it had stirred up some concerns amongst the Sons that had been present, but it had obviously been a topic of discussion as they tried to figure out what was wrong.  You cursed yourself for not having a better poker face.  You didn’t want them worrying about you.

You nodded against his shoulder.  ‘I know. I’m okay, I promise.  I’ll see you tomorrow?’

‘You will. Night, sweetheart.’  He finally released you, and you stepped in to Tig’s waiting arms, giving him a kiss on the cheek, before raising your hand to the others to bid them goodnight, sighing in relief when you reached the isolation of the corridor and could finally let your mask slip.  You hadn’t wanted to be alone, but it didn’t come naturally to hide things from the guys, and you knew they could sense your discomfort. If you were going to stay and try and work through this without their knowledge you needed to pull yourself together.

 

* * *

 

You were just closing the door to your apartment behind you when heavy footsteps sounded and Opie rounded the corner.  

‘Hey, you, uh, you left this in the bar.’  He held out his hand to you, the light grey cardigan that you’d draped over the back of your seat earlier clutched in his fingers.  ‘Thought you might need it.’

‘Right, yeah.’ You took it from him, shrugging it over your shoulders before turning your back to him and slipping off your flip-flops.  ‘Thanks.’

You padded across the room to your bed, sinking down onto the mattress and tucking your legs up under you.  You were still sore and the movement made you groan, the sound not lost on Opie as he watched you from the doorway, his brow creased with a frown.  

‘You can come in,’ you reassured him, noting how awkward he looked hovering on the threshold. ‘I won’t bite.’

‘Yeah, I’m not buying that.’  He smirked at you as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him as he pulled down the neck of his t-shirt to reveal a deep red mark, not unlike the ones you were sporting.  ‘You’re not the only one with bruises today.’

You felt your cheeks colour as you shot him a shy smile.  ‘Sorry.’

‘Don’t be.’  He perched on the edge of the bed beside you, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.  ‘You’ve been kinda quiet all evening.  Are we okay?’

‘We’re fine, Ope. I promise.’

His scowl deepened as he glanced over at you, taking a deep breath before he went on.  ‘So, what was the deal with that letter you got this afternoon?’

You shifted uncomfortably, avoiding his gaze as you picked at your thumbnail, that same icy chill from earlier in the day creeping into your bloodstream.  ‘What do you mean?’

‘You looked kinda freaked when you opened it.  Figured maybe that’s what’s on your mind.’

‘Oh, no.’  You shook your head.  ‘It was nothing.  Junk mail.’

‘Handwritten junk mail delivered while it’s still dark out?’

‘Yep.’  You shrugged, aiming for nonchalance but falling short.  ‘Kinda persistent, huh?  Guess they really wanted me to take them up on that boob job offer.’

He sighed, seeing through your lies but knowing when to let it drop.  ‘Okay, I’m not gonna press you on it.  I’m here when you wanna talk about it though, alright?  If you’re in some kind of trouble…’

‘I’m not.’  You reached for his hand, finding comfort in the way that it dwarfed your own, his thumb rubbing over your knuckles.  ‘I’m okay, really.  Just knocked the self-esteem a little.’  You tried to laugh but it sounded hollow even to your ears.

He stood then, towering over you as he bent to press a soft kiss to your forehead, and you were surprised to find yourself resisting the urge to snake your arms around his neck and pull him closer.  ‘Fine.  Then just tell that cowboy surgeon that you don’t need a boob job.  You’re perfect as you are.’


	7. Chapter 7

You spent a restless night tossing and turning as you contemplated how it was that your brother had managed to track you down. The miles you’d put between you had allowed you to fly under his radar for over a year now, and you couldn’t identify anything out of the ordinary in your routine that might have alerted him to your whereabouts. You were paid cash in hand by Teller-Morrow, keeping banking transactions to a minimum, and you lived at the club rent-free so there were no tenancy papers flying around with your name on. The MC liked to keep things on the down-low and that suited you.  So, what had changed?

It was around five in the morning when you awoke from the disturbing dream you’d drifted into with a startling moment of clarity.  You could see a man’s face in your mind, cruel eyes and a twisted smile, and you knew straight away who it was that had turned you in.  The actor.  You hadn’t recognised him, but that didn’t mean anything.  Your brother and his crew wore masks when they were doing their dirty work, or it was possible that he was a client of theirs that had seen your picture floating around as Aaron tried to track you down.  It didn’t matter.  You knew now what it was that you’d seen flash across his face when you’d entered the room: recognition; anticipation of a reward even, as you knew you’d have a price on your head.

Once the idea had taken hold, you couldn’t shake it. If that actor had really been the one to turn you in, that meant that Aaron would know it all: where you were, your involvement with the MC, and the business the Sons were tied into.  He could cause a lot of trouble if he wanted to, and you knew he would.  It wouldn’t be enough just to get you back. He’d want to make the people that had taken you in pay for what he would see as a betrayal.

As the first rays of sunlight filtered in through the window of your apartment, you climbed out of bed, giving up on the possibility of getting any more rest.  It wasn’t going to happen until you had some answers and you weren’t going to find them alone.  You slipped the cardigan that Opie had brought to you the previous evening on over your pajama shorts and tank top and padded out of your room and down the corridor to the bar.  As you’d half-expected, Juice was crashed out on the couch.  Tig was stretched out on the pool table, snoring quietly. It had obviously turned in to a heavier night than had been planned.

You made your way into the kitchen and put some coffee on to brew, inhaling deeply as the rich aroma filled the air, as though just the scent of the caffeine could make you feel more alive.  If you thought you felt bad yesterday, it was nothing compared to today.  Your nearly sleepless night was making you feel wretched, and you drummed your fingers impatiently on the work surface as you waited for the water to filter through.

A quick check of the fridge revealed that you were out of milk so you poured two mugs, leaving them black and adding sugar to both, before creeping back in to the bar.  Setting your own coffee down on the floor, you perched on the edge of the couch at Juice’s side, wafting the steam under his nose in the hopes that the scent might cause him to stir.

When his eyes flickered open, immediately wide with confusion, you held a finger to your lips and stood, motioning for him to follow you, passing him the coffee as he climbed to his feet with a low groan, and stooping to retrieve your own before making your way out into the yard.

It was already warm outside, the garage eerily quiet this early in the morning, and you took a seat at one of the picnic benches, waiting for Juice to drop down opposite you.

‘Is everything okay?’  The Puerto Rican was edgy, and you could understand why.  If you had an issue, you went to Jax or, in his absence, Chibs or Tig.  He already knew that you were about to entrust him with a secret and, in his experience, secrets within the club always ended badly.

‘I’m sorry for waking you up so early,’ you began, twisting your mug between your fingers and watching as the steam twirled into the air.  'I just needed to talk to you before the others showed up.’

'What is it?’  He fidgeted uncomfortably, taking a sip of coffee and wincing when it burned his mouth.

You took a deep breath.  'The actor that kicked off the other day at Caracara, can you find out who that was?’

'Erm, yeah, I guess.’  He rubbed his hand over the back of his head as he thought.  'I mean, if I know what movie it was he was there to film I can probably figure it out.’

'He was a mechanic.’  It was the only information you could give him that might help, and you saw him make a mental note of it.  'He was with maybe 3 or 4 girls.  One of them was that busty redhead that Bobby likes.’

'Okay, well, I mean, I can check the sign-in book and the schedule, try to get a name that way.’  He glanced up at you nervously, laying his hands flat against the wooden table, his rings glinting in the sun as it climbed higher into the sky.  'Why are you asking me this?’

'I need some information on him.’  You waited for Juice to react, continuing when he didn’t.  'Name, address, affiliations… Whatever you can find.’

'Y/N, what’s going on here?’

'I just…’  You couldn’t tell him, you knew you couldn’t.  If you did, he’d go straight to Clay or Jax and it would all escalate before you figured out what was actually going on.  If you kept it vague, he was more likely to play it close to his chest until he knew more.  'I got a bad vibe from the guy.  I don’t think it’s the last we’ll see of him so I’m just trying to be prepared, that’s all.’

Juice nodded.  'Have you spoken to Jax about this?’

'No, I don’t wanna worry him.’  That part was true.  'Figured I’d wait and see what your search flagged up before deciding whether it was worth raising with the club.’

'So, I’m taking it you wanna keep this between us then?’

'For now.’  You could see how much he hated that, and you stretched your arm across the table, covering his hand with yours as you met his gaze.  'Please, Juice.  I can’t explain, but I really need you to do this for me.  Please.’

You could see him softening, and finally he sighed, lowering his head to stare into his mug as though it held all the answers.  'Fine. But if this brings shit to our doorstep, Y/N-’

'It’s on me.’  You nodded, twisting your fingers in your lap.  He had no idea.  'Thanks, Juice. I owe you one.’

The door to the clubhouse swung open, marking the end of your conversation, and you watched as Tig strolled over to join you, straddling the bench and planting a sloppy kiss on your cheek.  ‘Morning, baby, Juicy.’

‘G’morning, Tigger.’

He sniffed the air, focusing in on your drink and looking at you with puppy dog eyes.  ‘Coffee?  Is there coffee?’

You nudged your mug closer to him, nodding for him to go ahead.  ‘You can have mine.  I don’t think I want it anymore.’

Earlier, it had been all you craved, but, since putting Juice on task, your stomach had knotted with anxiety and the idea of trying to eat or drink made you feel nauseous.  

Tig was groaning in pleasure as he took a sip, savouring it before swallowing loudly.  ‘Oh, you’re an angel, I swear.’

Juice was sitting silently, staring into space, his brow creased as though his mind was whirring away inside his head.  He startled you when he leapt up, freezing when Tig gave him a questioning look.  ‘Sorry, I, uh, I just realised I need to go run some errands.  I, uh, I’ll see you guys later, okay?  Okay.’

‘What’s all that about?’  Tig was frowning, watching as the younger Son strapped on his helmet and mounted his bike.  ‘He alright with you before I showed up?’

‘Yeah,’ you nodded, as the motorcycle roared out of the yard.  ‘Seemed fine.  Maybe he’s sore about the whole pool thing last night.  You were a little rough with him, Tiggy.’

‘Ahh, they love it when I’m rough.’  He winked at you and you found yourself smiling for the first time that day, letting yourself relax in his company.  ‘How’d you sleep, anyway?  You turned in kinda early last night.  Had us worried.’

‘Not great,’ you admitted, running your hand through your hair.  You knew he’d predicted the answer, that he could see your exhaustion in the dark circles under your eyes.  ‘You don’t need to worry about me though.  I’ll be okay.’

‘C’mere, get some shut-eye with Uncle Tig.’  He grabbed a hold of your hand, setting his empty mug down on the table and dragging you over to the boxing ring that was set up for when the guys needed to relieve some of their pent-up aggression.  

‘No, Tig, really, I’m-‘

‘C’mon!  We’ve got a solid hour before anyone else shows up, at least.’  He’d already hopped up onto the elevated platform, reaching down to haul you up beside him.  He held up the rope so you could duck under, earning a cackle of laughter when you glared at him for bossing you around.  Sprawling out in the centre of the ring, spread-eagled, he raised his arm to motion for you to join him, and you did, though you still huffed at him even as you were curling against his side.  You didn’t think you’d be able to sleep, despite the security of his arm wrapped around your waist, but his heartbeat thrummed a steady rhythm beneath your head and the sun melted the icy fear that had wrapped itself around your heart, and you found yourself drifting.  

 

* * *

 

You woke to the sound of an engine approaching, blinking dazedly as a bike pulled into the yard and backed into the line.  The sun was bright, blinding you as you tried to see who had turned up, and it wasn’t until Opie entered the shadows that you could see his face.

‘Morning.’  You smiled up at him, noticing how he averted his eyes from your bare legs as you sat up, disturbing Tig who woke with a start.

‘Shit, man, what time is it?’

‘Just after eight.’  Opie’s gaze was flicking between the two of you, and you pulled your cardigan tighter around you, suddenly very conscious of how little you were wearing.  ‘What’s going on here?’

‘I didn’t sleep well,’ you admitted.  ‘Tiggy took pity on me.’

‘Nice of him.’  Opie’s smile was forced and you climbed to your feet, desperate to escape the tension that he’d brought with him.  ‘Clay’s called a meeting.  Wants everyone there.’

‘Sure thing, man.’  Tig was pushing himself upright, ready to help you jump down from the ring, but Opie was already there, his hands steady on your waist as he lowered you to the ground.  ‘I just gotta take a piss.’

He disappeared into the clubhouse, leaving you alone with the agitated outlaw who was still watching you with concern.  ‘You doing okay?’

‘Yeah, I’m alright.’  You collected the dirty coffee mugs from the table, before turning towards the bar, with Ope falling into step beside you.  ‘Just kinda beat still.  How’re you?’

‘I’m good.’

‘Good.  So, I asked Jax-‘

‘He’s not the answer.’  You were cut short as the abrupt statement fell from his lips, his expression grave as he glanced down at you, wrapping a hand around your wrist to halt you in your tracks.  ‘Tig.  I know something’s going on with you, and he probably seems like easy comfort, but he’s not the answer.’

‘And you are?’

He shrugged.  ‘I don’t know.’

‘Look, it’s not like that, Ope.  Me and Tig, it’s innocent, I promise.’

‘And you and me?’  He was staring at the ground, scuffing the toe of his boot against the tarmac as he waited for you to respond.

You hesitated, unsure what he was hoping to hear from you, a little afraid of the intensity in his eyes when his gaze met yours again.  ‘I don’t know.’


	8. Chapter 8

For the next few days you waited for an update from Juice.  He was acting shifty, avoiding your eyes whenever he entered a room, obviously uncomfortable about doing anything behind the club’s back, and you felt a pang of guilt for having put him in such an awkward position.  At the same time, you were desperate for answers, but they didn’t come until the morning of the charity run.

You’d woken up later than intended, too many restless nights combining to drag you into a deep, dreamless sleep halfway through the movie you’d been watching with Jax the previous evening.  You felt better for the rest, but you were now trying to shower, dress and pack in record time, and your shouted, ‘Come in!’ at the rap on your door was abrupt to the point of being slightly rude.

You had your back to the doorway as your visitor entered, grabbing the pile of clean laundry from the top of your drawers and stuffing it into a backpack without paying much attention to what it was that you were actually packing.

‘Hey, erm, Y/N?’  You turned to see Juice hovering in the doorway.  ‘You got a minute?’

‘Of course.’  You beckoned him in, moving to close the door behind him and motioning for him to take a seat on the bed.  ‘You got something for me?’

‘Yeah.’  He nodded, pulling a slip of paper from the back pocket of his jeans.  ‘Sorry it took so long.  He was using a false name so I had to trace it right back to…  Well, anyway, I think I got what you wanted.  Name’s Christian Piper.  Lives down south.  Got his address here for you.’

He passed you the paper and you scanned it quickly.  It was definitely your neck of the woods, though you didn’t recognise the name at all.  ‘Any affiliations?’

‘Not on record, no.’  He fidgeted, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.  ‘Only real way to tell would be to check his tatts.  Caracara might have a photo on file.  Honestly, I didn’t check.’

You read the address again, trying to picture the small town, knowing you’d definitely been there sometime in the past.  ‘Right. Well, this is great, really. Thank you, Juice.’

You leant forward to hug him, wrapping your arm around his neck and stroking your hand over his dark faux-hawk.  

‘Sure, anytime.’  He slid from the bed, nodding once to you before leaving the room.

Before the door could close, Jax appeared, sticking his head in and giving you an exasperated look. ‘You ready yet, darlin’?’

‘Nearly,’ you reassured him, pocketing the actor’s details and snatching up your hairbrush, running it through your still-damp hair before shoving that too into your bag.  ‘Okay, I’m good.’

‘You sure?’

‘I’m sure, Teller.’  You shrugged the backpack over your shoulder, taking one last glance around the room to check you hadn’t forgotten anything before shoving him out of the door and locking it behind you.  ‘Let’s go!’

 

* * *

 

There was something therapeutic about the road, endless miles of it twisting and turning through the countryside, long stretches between small towns where there was nothing but open fields for as far as the eye could see.  You rested your head against Jax’s back, squinting against the sun as the bike ate up the tarmac, revelling in the feeling of freedom as the rush of air cooled your skin.  You didn’t think you ever felt safer than when your arms were locked around the stomach of your best friend as he manoeuvred the machine around the bends with a practised ease.  

Even so, by the time you reached the next charter on your route, you felt stiff and drained.  Your eyes were stinging and the heat had taken its toll, and, in all honesty, you were ready for a shower and sleep.  Of course, that wasn’t to be.  A welcoming committee was waiting for you, and you were ushered into the dorms with a promise that a wild party awaited you in the bar to celebrate your arrival and the start of the next leg of the trip.  

Stepping into the room you’d been assigned, you found that their setup was a little different from SAMCRO’s.  Three single beds jutted out from the far wall and you dropped down onto the nearest one, stretching out with a loud groan.  ‘Oh man, I don’t know how you guys do it.  Riding is exhausting.’

‘Not as exhausting as hanging on, apparently.’  Chibs smirked at you as he followed you in.  ‘You don’t mind rooming with us old fellas, do you, lass?’

‘She doesn’t mind.’  Tig answered for you as he entered the room, dropping his bag on the floor and crashing on to the bunk beside yours.  ‘Do you, baby?’

‘Not at all.’  You gave him a tired smile.  ‘You guys aren’t that old, anyway.’

‘Ahh, I knew there was a reason I liked you.’  Chibs settled down beside you, leaning back against your pillows.  ‘You doing better now, love?’

‘Yeah.’  You turned towards him, raising your head so he could slip his arm under your neck.  ‘I am.’

For once, it was true.  Just getting out of Charming made you feel like you could breathe.  The threat was still there, lurking in the back of your mind, but it was distant, something to deal with later.  For now, you were relaxed.  Maybe too relaxed, as you felt yourself start to drift off.

‘Hey, wake up!’  Tiggy’s fingers were prodding against your spine as he pulled you back to consciousness.  ‘We’ve got a party to go to!  You know what that means, right?’

‘What?’  You yawned loudly, rubbing your hand over your eyes in an attempt to wake yourself up.  

‘A lot of liquor,’ he informed you.  ‘And lots and lots of pussy!’

‘Och, he loves the pussy, Y/N,’ Chibs chimed in.

‘I do, I do love the pussy.’

‘Alright, alright.’  You eased yourself to your feet, stretching your arms up to ease the ache in your joints.  ‘I get it.  You guys go ahead.  I’m just gonna shower and change and then I’ll be over, okay?’

‘You want us to wait, love?’  Tig gave Chibs a horrified look at the suggestion, and you laughed.  

‘No, it’s fine, honestly.  I’ll be right behind you.’

 

* * *

 

You took a sip of your drink, waiting for the alcohol to start taking effect, trying to force yourself into the party mood as you leant against one of the wooden pillars that lined one side of the clubhouse, supporting the elevated balcony above.  By the time you’d joined the guys, they were well on their way to oblivion.  Chibs already had a sweet butt perched on his knee, and Tig was buried in the voluptuous bosom of another.  The others were deep in conversation with their brothers in the northern charter, and you felt it would be too much effort to involve yourself, unable to muster up the energy to look interested enough to not cause offence.

‘That my shirt?’  The deep gravel of Opie’s voice from behind you made you jump, and you wrapped the fabric tighter around you as he moved closer so you could feel the heat emanating from his body.

It was.  You’d rummaged through your backpack to find that the shirt was the only clean top you’d managed to pack.  Enough underwear and denim to last you a month, but only the one shirt.  You knew it was your own fault for leaving it to the last minute and not checking what was in the pile of clothing that you’d shoved into your bag, but you’d still felt awkward as you’d shrugged it on over your tank top, swapping your jeans for a skirt so you wouldn’t feel too under-dressed surrounded by the hangers-on that were bound to be in attendance.

He was still waiting for a response, one hand creeping forward to rest on the curve of your hip, and you felt your heartbeat falter as his thumb found the strip of bare skin above your belt, sense memory raising goosebumps on your flesh as you flashed back to the last time his fingers had wreaked havoc on you. ‘Maybe.’

‘Are you trying to tell me something?’

‘No.’  You saw Jax glance over at you from his space at the bar, giving you an easy smile when he saw that you weren’t alone, before turning back to his conversation.  ‘I just suck at packing.’

‘Right.’  He took another step forward, so that he was pressed against you, the broad solidity of him causing your breath to catch in your throat.  ‘So, you’re not looking to hook up again tonight then?’

‘Wasn’t planning on it.’

‘Good.’  The bristle of his beard scraped against the crook of your neck as he lowered his head to your ear.  ‘Me neither.’

You turned to glare at him, well aware that he was toying with you, but he was already walking away, his back to you as he inserted himself into a conversation with Clay and a few others.  You knew your cheeks were flushed, could feel your pulse racing as you shifted uncomfortably against the pillar, adjusting your stance to try and appear casual again, though when you looked up and found Opie’s eyes locked on you, you found yourself fixed to the spot, unable to look away.  He’d never had this effect on you before, but since your night together, your body was betraying you, reacting instinctively to his presence.

‘Hey, will you at least try and look like you’re enjoying yourself?’  Jax had approached, unnoticed, as you melted under the heat of Opie’s gaze, and you jumped when he moved into your line of vision.  ‘C’mon, Y/N, it’s a party.’

‘Sorry.’  You gave him a tight smile, raising your empty glass with a shrug.  ‘Just not drunk enough, I guess.’

‘Well then, let’s do something about that.’  He slung an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close.  ‘Let your hair down, darlin’!  I got you!’

Under Jax’s control, you let yourself slip into the flow of things, drinking whatever was put in your hand, nodding along to the people that tried to engage you in conversation, and relying on the VP’s arm to keep you focused, as he moved through the party with ease.  He was blissfully unaware of your discomfort as you felt Opie’s stare scorching in to you, making you infuriatingly conscious of your movements, your stance, the position of your limbs.  It was as though every cell in your body was straining towards him, no matter where he was in the room, and when he sidled up to the bar beside you and his hand caressed over your lower back, it was all you could do to not to whimper, trying to keep your attention on Happy as he spoke about the issues he was having with his Mom’s meds.  Jax was nodding in understanding but, in all honestly, you knew your expression was vacant, as Opie’s touch slipped away and he disappeared back in to the crowd.   

The lingering looks continued, even as various other ladies sidled up to him with lust in their eyes, and you knew he was teasing you, wanting you to want him.  What frustrated you most was how easily it was working.  Memories of the feel of his muscles shifting beneath your fingers and the weight of him on top of you were making you feel shaky and weak, and butterflies had awoken in your stomach.  At this point they were having more effect on your inhibitions than the alcohol in your bloodstream, so when you glanced up to see him with a scantily clad blonde pressing up against him, you felt your heart dip.  You watched him laugh as she stretched up on her heels to whisper in his ear, trying to keep the frown from your face, but this time when his eyes met yours, he broke away from the group he was with, setting his beer down on a table as he passed by and slipped out of the door into the night.

Jax was leaning on the bar, caught up in a heated discussion with Bobby, and he barely noticed when you slipped out of his grasp and made your way outside, pausing by the door to revel in the chill in the air, leaning your head back and letting the breeze ruffle your hair.

‘Ope?’  Your voice was lost in the music that filtered out of the clubhouse and you shuffled tentatively to the corner of the building, peering round into the shadows.  ‘You out here?’

Large hands seizing your waist made you shriek and you span into a firm chest as you were tugged into the darkness and backed against the wall.  ‘Opie, what are you doing?’

‘Exactly what you want me to do.’  His mouth found yours, and you clutched at his jacket, trying to pull him closer as he kissed you, ravenous with need.  His hands were moving lower, grazing over your hips, but it still wasn’t enough, and you pushed yourself up on your tiptoes so you could deepen the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and moaning into his mouth when he hitched you up and slammed you against the rough brick.  

‘Opie!’  His name fell from your lips as he kissed down your throat, fumbling with the barriers between you before crashing into you with bruising force.

The sensation was dizzying, and your fingers fumbled for a hold on the smooth leather of his kutte as you clung to him, helpless to do anything but succumb to his punishing pace.  

The pent-up energy that he’d built up between you throughout the night with his penetrating stares had you both teetering on a knife-edge, and it took no time at all before you were a quivering mess and he was tensing and cursing as he brought you both to your peaks.

You slithered down his body as his grip loosened, hitting the ground as your legs gave way.  You were hot and breathless and sitting in the dirt, but as you stared up at the outlaw leaning against the wall, panting hard, you felt a swell of desire that you tried to tamp down.  What the hell was this?  If you had to try to explain it, you would say that the vulnerability you felt due to your brother’s reappearance had made you needy, and Opie was willing and able to give you what you needed, but as he buckled his belt and gave you a small smile that made your heart falter, you realised that it might be more than you were willing to admit.

‘You okay?’  He folded his long body onto the floor beside you, reaching for your hand and bringing it to his lips.

‘Yeah.’  You leant your head back against the wall, glancing over to where your fingers were laced through his.  ‘I’m good.’

‘I didn’t hurt you, did I?’

‘No, I’m fine.  It was… It was…’  You couldn’t find the words to explain the fire that Opie stoked inside of you, so you tailed off, and his smile grew.

‘It was, huh?’

You leant against him, resting your head on his shoulder, feeling his lips brush your hair as you sighed.  ‘I kinda thought you were gonna hook up with that sweet butt in there for a minute.’

‘Did that bother you?’

‘I’m not sure.’  You thought about the knot that had formed in your stomach as you watched her rub up against him, reaching up to run a hand down his chest as though she had a claim on him.  It had felt weird, wrong, seeing him so close to another woman, but you tried to put it down to it being out of character rather than any sort of indication of your feelings.  

‘You can keep the shirt.’ Opie changed the subject and you glanced down at where the fabric was bunched around your thighs.  ‘Looks better on you, anyway.’

‘Thanks.’  You snorted with laughter and he gave you a curious look. ‘Sorry, just, I was telling the truth when I said I sucked at packing.  This is literally the only clean shirt I have on me, and, honestly, it’s not that clean anymore.’

‘You’re serious?’  He smirked at you, shaking his head.  ‘I’ve probably got some spares if you wanna borrow a couple.’

‘You don’t mind?’

‘Nah.’  He bent his head to capture your mouth in a slow, languorous kiss. ‘It’s actually kinda sexy.’


	9. Chapter 9

You could feel Opie’s eyes on you as you strolled out of the clubhouse the following morning, rolling up the too-long sleeves of one of his clean shirts.  He’d led you back to his room the previous evening and given you a small pile of clothing to see you through.  For a moment you’d thought he might invite you to stay with him, and the idea had set your body alight – the thought of falling asleep wrapped around his broad frame, nestling into his chest, strong arms holding you tight – but he hadn’t.  Instead he’d walked you back to the door of your dorm, pulling you close as he’d left you with one last devastating kiss that you’d been able to feel against your lips long after he’d bid you goodnight.

It was early, and most of the Sons were still eating their fill of breakfast, fuelling up for another long day on the road.  The brothers from the charter that had put you up for the night would be joining you for the second day and continuing the ride north.  It would be a spectacle, that many bikes filling up the highway, and already you were hungry for the rumble of the engines and the feeling of freedom as you sped across the country.

‘Looks good on you.’  Opie leant down to murmur the words in your ear as he brushed past you on his way back inside, and you felt your cheeks heat up at the compliment, though you rolled your eyes and shoved him playfully away, unwilling to let him see the effect he had on you.

‘Shut up.’

You heard him laugh as he disappeared through the open door, leaving you alone in the small forecourt.  You ditched your bag beside Jax’s bike, perching on the saddle before swinging your legs up and stretching out, folding your arms behind your head where it rested on the fuel tank.  The sleek black machine felt solid and stable beneath you, the metal cool in the chill morning air, and you sighed in contentment as you let your body relax.  You felt a million miles away from the stresses and fears you’d left behind in Charming, and you ached deliciously, a result of Opie’s less-than-gentle attentions.  Just thinking about his mouth on yours made your stomach dip, and you shook your head to rid yourself of the memory.

‘Figured you’d be riding with Ope today.’

You sat up at the sound of Jax’s voice, one leg dangling either side of the bike as you watched him saunter over, a lit cigarette dangling from his fingers.

‘And why would you think that?’  His eyes flickered towards the corner where his friend had had you pinned against the wall, the movement so quick that you almost didn’t spot it but, as it registered, you buried your face in your hands, embarrassment making it impossible for you to look him in the eye.  ‘Oh God, he told you!’

‘Course he told me, darlin’.’  He was smirking at you when you risked a peek at him, reaching out to grab a hold of your wrist and pull your fingers away from your burning cheeks.  ‘Still wanna try tellin’ me you’re just friends?’

‘Dammit, Jax.’  You punched his chest half-heartedly before slumping against him, resting your head against the smooth leather of his kutte and feeling his hand come up to stroke your hair.  ‘I don’t even know anymore.’

‘He’s a good guy, Y/N.’

‘I know that.’

‘And he likes you.  Haven’t seen him like this about anyone since Donna.’

‘Great, no pressure there.’  You pulled back to glare at him, reaching out to snag his cigarette from between his lips and taking a long pull on it.  ‘I don’t wanna hurt him, Jax, but I’m not looking to get in to anything serious.  It’s complicated.’

‘Complicated how?’

The question silenced you, as you pondered how best to answer without spilling out that the only person you’d willingly sacrifice your independence for was the man standing right in front of you.  Jax was the only Son you’d ever have considered taking on the title of Old Lady for, and that position was filled.  Even as your brain followed that train of thought though, you pictured yourself waking up beside Opie, throwing yourself into his arms when he returned from a run, and curling up with him on the couch at the end of a long day, the yearning that sprung up within you taking you aback. ‘It just is,’ you muttered finally.  ‘He’s been through so much, and that’s a lot of responsibility to take on.  Don’t get me wrong, I like him, I do, but I still don’t think I’m what he needs.’

‘Maybe you should let Opie make that decision.’  He was studying you intently, his eyes narrowed as he watched you fidget against the bike.  ‘I’m not saying you should marry the guy, just spend some time with him.  You might surprise yourself.’

‘You playing matchmaker, Teller?’

He shrugged, retrieving his cigarette and sucking in a lungful of smoke before letting it fall to the ground and grinding it out with his heel.  ‘Maybe.’

‘Stick to gun-running, okay?’

Despite your protestations though, when you saw Opie loping towards his bike, you shouldered your backpack and sidled over to him.  ‘Okay if I ride with you today?’

You saw him glance at Jax, before he nodded, handing you his spare helmet, his fingers brushing against your chin as he fastened it for you.  ‘You and Jax having issues?’

‘No.’  You shot him a bashful smile.  ‘Just thought you might like the company.’  It was a stupid thing to say.  It wasn’t like you could hear each other well enough to strike up a conversation once you were out on the road, but when he straddled the motorcycle and you slid into place behind him, locking your arms around his waist, he pulled you in closer, your chest flush with his back.  You could feel his muscles shifting beneath your touch, even through his jacket and kutte, and once again found yourself marvelling at how very small he made you feel.

‘You ready?’

‘Let’s go.’

 

* * *

 

Another night, another dingy bar in an unfamiliar town, but despite feeling bone-weary after another long day of riding, you found it easier to slip into the party mood, determined to enjoy yourself a little before having to return home and face up to your problems.  The tequila shots that had been offered up with alarming regularity by Piney had given you a warming buzz, and you knew you were slurring your words when you dropped into Tig’s lap, interrupting his conversation with Chibs and Clay, and wrapping an arm around his neck.  ‘Hey Tiggy, guess what?’

‘What, baby?  You a little wrecked?’

‘No.  Well, yes, but no, that’s not what I was gonna say.’

‘Well, what were you gonna say then, princess, huh?’

‘I…’  You wrinkled your nose as you thought long and hard, before shrugging and snagging his drink from between his fingers.  ‘I don’t remember.’

He guffawed with laughter as you swigged from the bottle, wiping the back of your hand across your mouth as you set it on the table.  ‘Well, that’s just beautiful.’

‘D’you think you’ve had enough, lass, eh?’  Despite his serious tone, Chibs’ mouth was quirked up in a smile as he watched you squirm in Tig’s arms.

‘She’s alright,’ the wild-haired outlaw reassured his brother.  ‘I got her.’

‘Keep an eye on her, Tiggy.’  The Scot shot you both a stern look, before pushing himself to his feet with a grunt and following after the sweet butt that was beckoning to him from across the room.

‘I remembered what I was gonna say.’  You ran your fingers through Tig’s soft curls, smoothing them back from his face as you stared into his piercing blue eyes, crinkling at the corners as he grinned up at you.  ‘I love you, Tigger.’

‘Love you too, baby.  I’m your favourite, right?’

‘No!’  You planted your hands in the centre of his chest and shoved against him as though you could push him away, only succeeding in almost tumbling from his knees with a maniacal giggle, saved by his large hands as they grasped your waist.

‘Oh, you’re breaking my heart, baby!’

‘You know who my favourite is?’

‘Tell me.’

You slid from his lap, wobbling precariously as your feet hit the floor, and catching yourself on the elbow of the figure who stood with his back to you, hauling him around to face you.  Opie frowned at your inebriated state, but before he could say anything you’d pulled his mouth down to meet yours, pressing a searing kiss to his lips as his arms came around you, keeping you upright as you melted into him.  You could hear murmurs of confusion from the table behind you, but everything seemed hazy and out of focus as you felt Ope move past his shock and begin to kiss you back.  Your fingers bit in to the soft leather of his jacket as you clung to him, pulling away breathlessly when your head started to swim.

‘What was that for?’  Opie’s voice was a low rasp as he gazed down at your flushed face, taking in your glazed eyes and the sheen of sweat that covered your skin.

‘Because I like you the most.’

 

* * *

 

The evening chill hit you like a truck as you staggered outside, cooling your feverish skin and sobering you enough that your vision cleared, though you knew you were weaving as you crossed the garden to the bench swing on the other side.  The charter’s clubhouse looked more like a mini country club from the outside, but it was still full of the same rowdy bikers and sticky floors you found in the MC’s quarters across the country.  Opie had released you after your drunken declaration, and the whispering and wide eyes had become too much, so you’d sought an escape from the crowded room, holding up a hand to stop him when he went to follow you.  ‘No, no, I’m okay.  I just need some air.’

Now, as you slumped down on the seat, you felt your cheeks burn with mortification.  What had you been thinking?  You’d spent most of the evening watching him, hoping that he’d look up and meet your eyes, wishing you could conjure up another circumstance that would allow you to lose yourself in his touch.  Spending the day pressed up against him on his Dyna had done nothing to quench your thirst for him, and you’d even caught yourself cursing Jax for blocking your view as he took a seat beside his brother on the couch.  It was that, more than anything else, that had alerted you to your own shifting attractions.  But to kiss him like that in public, before you’d even really spoken to him about what it was that you were doing?  It was stupid, and you knew it had hurt Tig from the vacant expression plastered over his face when you’d glanced in his direction before making your hasty exit.  He’d always had a soft spot for you, you knew that, but now you worried that it went beyond his casual flirtations and easy teasing.

‘Alright, love?’  Chibs’ voice tore you from the pit of despair you felt yourself sinking into as he dropped down beside you, resting a hand on your knee.  ‘Hear you caused quite the scene in there.’

You sighed, drawing your legs up to your chest and letting your head fall forwards onto your knees.  ‘I think I messed it all up, Chibby.’

‘Messed what up?  You and Ope?  How long’s that been going on?’

‘It hasn’t.’  Your words were muffled, but you knew he could hear you when he scoffed.  ‘I mean, it wasn’t supposed to be anything serious.’

‘But…?’

‘I don’t know.’  You raised your head to look at him and shrugged.  ‘I think I just kinda made it serious, didn’t I?’

‘Ach, anyone with half a brain’ll know how wasted y’are, lass.  Ain’t no one gonna hold ye to anything that comes out ye mouth when you’ve been drinkin’ with Piney.’

‘Really?  Wanna try telling Tig that?’  You could still see the hurt in his eyes, and you sighed again as the guilt settled in your stomach like a lead weight.  ‘He looked like he hated me.’

‘He doesn’t hate ye, sweetheart.  He loves you.  We all do.’  His arm wrapped around your shoulders and you settled against him, trying to draw comfort from his words as he pushed off against the ground and swung you slowly back and forth. ‘Y’know, I always thought it was young Jackie you had a thing for.’

‘It was,’ you admitted, before correcting yourself as you registered your use of the past tense.  ‘I mean, it is.  I don’t know.  It’s complicated.’  You shot him a dejected look.  ‘Is it really that obvious?’

‘Not to him,’ he reassured you, stroking your hair as you nestled against him.  ‘It’ll all come out in the wash, lass, don’t worry ye pretty head about it.’

You nodded, yawning loudly as the gentle motion of the swing made your eyelids grow heavy.  ‘I’m sorry, Chibby.’

‘Just sleep, love.  Everythin’ll seem better in the mornin’.’

 

* * *

 

You skulked out to the parking lot the following morning with your shades on, keeping your eyes fixed on the ground.  You weren’t sure who you’d be riding with after your drunken exploits and didn’t want to assume that you’d be welcome with anyone.  You’d slept late, staying in bed buried beneath the covers even after you woke, putting off facing any of those you’d unwittingly hurt for as long as possible.

In the end it was Tig that spotted you first as you lurked in the shadows of the tree that stood in one corner of the forecourt, and he made for you straight away, wrapping you up in his arms and pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head.  ‘Hey, baby.  You doing okay?’

You could only nod, though you snaked your arms around him, lacing your fingers together behind his back to hold him close.

‘Chibby said you were pretty upset last night.  I’m sorry if that was my fault, doll.’

‘It wasn’t.  I was just being drunk and stupid.’

‘That all that was?’  He pulled back so he could study your face, his brow furrowing when you shrugged.  ‘You and Ope, huh?  You really like him?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Oh, sweetheart, you really have got it bad, don’t you?  C’mon, ride with me today.  Uncle Tiggy’ll take care of you.’


	10. Chapter 10

It was with mixed feelings that you swung yourself off of Tig’s bike in the TM forecourt, your rucksack weighing heavy on your back after hours spent on the road.  A part of you was glad to be home, craving a little solitude after a rowdy few days with the guys, where you felt you’d managed to make quite the spectacle of yourself.  You’d tried to catch Opie’s eye when you’d stopped off for gas some way back, but he’d avoided your gaze, moving away from you and burying himself deep in conversation with Bobby.  Another part, however, acknowledged that you would need to be on your toes now that you were home.  The note from your brother wasn’t something that you could just forget or sweep under the rug, and you had the information you needed on the actor from Caracara as a starting point for figuring out just what in the hell might be going on.  You were a little surprised that Aaron hadn’t already shown his face, though you supposed the crowd of bikers that surrounded you might be enough to deter him for a while.  Not for long though, you’d bet.

Tig wrapped an arm around your shoulders as you headed for the clubhouse, brushing a soft kiss against the top of your head, and you were joined on your other side by Chibs who took your bag from you, and linked his arm through yours.  ‘Home sweet home, eh, lass?’

‘Yeah, something like that.’

‘Chin up, love.’

‘He won’t even look at me,’ you muttered darkly, glaring at Opie’s back as he walked ahead of you with Jax.  ‘Seriously, I know I was pretty out of it, but was it really that bad?’

‘Just talk to him, baby,’ Tig chipped in, catching the clubhouse door before it could swing closed behind the younger outlaws and holding it open, motioning for you to step inside.  ‘He’s probably as confused as you are about it all.’

‘Maybe.’  You turned to the two men who were looking at you with concern in their eyes, and gave an apologetic shrug.  ‘I think I’m just gonna go hide out in my room for a while.  I could kinda use a break.’

You reached out to take your backpack from Chibs, slinging it over your shoulder as he reached out to give you a quick squeeze.  ‘You sure, love?  Hiding isn’t gonna solve anythin’, y’know.’

You raised an eyebrow at him as you made your retreat.  ‘I know.  I just need a little space, that’s all.  I’ll catch you guys later, okay?’

As you passed Jax’s seat at the bar, you leant over to ruffle his hair, shooting him a wink and mouthing, ‘See you later’ at him as you continued on to the corridor that led to the dorms.  You’d almost made it to your door when you heard the scuff of his sneakers against the floor behind you and turned to him with an exasperated sigh.  ‘Man, I was so close to escaping the lecture!’

‘I’m not gonna lecture you, darlin’.’  His mouth was quirked up in a lazy smile as he leant against the wall, pulling a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and lighting up. ‘I’m just checkin’ in.’

‘Well, I’m fine,’ you reassured him, backtracking when he gave you a disbelieving look.  ‘Or I would be if Opie wasn’t just blanking me.’

‘I think you got him confused, Y/N, that’s all.  One minute you’re barely acknowledging that he means anything to you, the next you’re kissing him in front of the whole club.  You’re not exactly giving him clear signals here, sweetheart!’

‘I know.’  You ran your hand through your hair and huffed, realising how it must have looked from his point of view.  ‘I’m not trying to complicate things.  I just…  I literally have no clue what I want.’

‘Well, you need to figure it out and let him know.’

‘You make it sound so easy.’

‘Oh, trust me, it ain’t easy, I can promise you that.’

You caught the edge to his tone and saw his smile falter a little, as he took a long drag on his smoke.  ‘How are things with you and Tara?  I’m sorry, I should’ve asked before, but-‘

‘You had your own stuff going on, I get it.  And honestly, I don’t really know what to tell you.  One minute things are great, and we’re a family, and the next I feel like she hates me for not being able to walk away from SAMCRO.’

‘I’m sorry, Jax.’

‘We’ll work it out.  It’s all the back and forth that drives me crazy.  S’why you and Ope are so lucky – you get the club.  You’re like the perfect Old Lady.’

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, shaking your head, as you fought against the flush that had risen to your cheeks.  ‘You’re so full of it.’

‘Hey, I’m just sayin’, I think the two of you have a shot if you want to make it work, but you need to talk to him.’

‘Yeah, yeah, I’ve already heard that from Chibby, thanks.’

‘Must mean it’s right then.’

You raised an eyebrow at him, and he smirked, stubbing the butt of his cigarette out against the wall, before opening his arms to you.  ‘C’mere.’

His embrace was calming, the familiar scent of him soothing your fraught nerves as he held you tight, swaying you slightly from side to side.  You almost hated to push him away, but you could hear voices drawing nearer, and you were desperate to escape to the peace and quiet of your room.  ‘Love you, Teller.’

‘You too.’

‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

The door clicked closed behind you, and you leant back against it, letting your eyes drift shut as you took a deep breath.  Your bag dropped to the floor as you listened to the enthusiastic chatter outside, recognising each voice with a small swell of affection.  Sure, Opie might be shutting you out, but the others had rallied around you, picking you up and letting you know that you weren’t alone.  You loved them for that: your family.  You wouldn’t trade them for the world, though you couldn’t deny your relief when the voices faded away, leaving you in relative silence as you slouched towards your bed.

Your movements halted when you spotted the foreign object propped against your pillow, and you found your back pressed against the solid wood of the door once more as you physically recoiled, your stomach knotting with dread.  You could feel bile rising up in your throat and you forced it down as you tried to steady yourself, breathing deep even as your hands trembled.

The shiny black mask was unmistakeable.  You could see the curve of the top where the plastic would sit against the cheekbones, dipping below the wearer’s eyes, and the small pinprick holes beneath the nose.  There was a thin slit of a mouth above the mounded chin, and you felt it was sneering at you as you stormed across the room and snatched it up.  There was no note this time, nothing but the simple reminder of who was coming for you.  The Collective.

Somebody had been in your room.  There was no other way that it could have magically appeared there, no label that might have driven Gemma to leave it waiting for you.  Aaron or one of his men had been where you slept at night, where you washed and dressed, and relaxed after a long day.  They’d sat on your bed, probably fondled your things, and stared at their own masked reflection in your mirror.  The space felt tainted with the knowledge that it had been invaded in your absence, and for a moment it was almost as though the walls were moving, drawing closer, crushing you and driving the air from your lungs.  No, this was your home. You couldn’t let them take this from you.

Tossing the mask on the ground, you drove your heel into the centre of it, listening to the satisfying crack as it split down the middle.  Then you bent to retrieve it and threw it into the back of your underwear drawer, fluffing up the contents to hide it from prying eyes.

 

* * *

 

For the next couple of weeks, you only left your room to work your shifts in the TM office.  Gemma had covered for you whilst you been off riding with the guys, so you had extra hours to catch up, and you found the dull monotony of doing the accounts and booking in services lessened the stress headache that had become a permanent fixture in your brain.

You didn’t feel safe anywhere, not even with the Sons around, casting worried glances your way when you scurried back to your room immediately after clocking off.  Several times a week they’d knock on your door, attempting to coax you out for a drink or a chat, but you’d fobbed them off with pathetic excuses: women’s problems; an early night; spring cleaning.  It wasn’t that you didn’t want to spend time with them, but you were constantly on edge, jumpy, hyper-aware of every noise and movement, and the only escape you found was when you were alone in your dorm.  At least there, the only noise was your own, and there was only one entrance that could be easily accessed, the windows bolted shut.  It did little to help, but it was the only place that you felt you could hold it together, so you shut yourself away and wallowed.

You knew you were hurting the guys by shutting them out.  You could see it written over their faces when they called out to you in the yard, but you knew if you spent too much time with them, they’d begin prying into what was wrong, and coming clean could turn things bloody fast.  Guys like the Collective, they didn’t mess around.  They had no fear, no constraints, friends in all the right places, and they’d take your family out without blinking if they thought for a moment that the club was onto them.  You wouldn’t put your safety before theirs, no matter how much it forced you to distance yourself.  Every morning you asked yourself whether it would be easier for everyone if you just left, but the truth was, you had nowhere else to go.

‘Hey, Y/N, come and keep me company on me break, lass.’  Chibs was holding an arm out to you as he caught you exiting the office, his earnest expression tugging at your heart as you shook your head, gesturing towards the clubhouse and your dorm.

‘Sorry, Chibby.  Things to do, y’know.’

‘What things?  Wha’s goin’ on with you?’  You could see the frustration written over his face, and you almost went to him, longing to let his easy company settle your fears, but then a sleek black SUV pulled into the forecourt, and the knot in your stomach tightened, sending a wave of nausea over you.  You couldn’t do this.  There were too many people, too many strangers.

‘Nothing, I’m sorry, I just-’

‘Nah, bullshit!’  His patience ran out as you backed away and he snapped, his tone harsh as he narrowed his eyes.  You hated the way he was looking at you, but panic was taking hold, and you hurried past before you got drawn into an argument, though not before you heard Tig’s lowered voice ushering the Scot away.  

‘She’ll talk to us when she’s ready, brother.  You gotta leave her be ‘til then.’

 

* * *

 

A couple of hours later, you were disturbed by a loud knock and you sighed, laying the book you’d been reading on the bed and easing yourself up to shuffle to the door.  You were expecting it to be one of the lads, lining up to make another attempt at drawing you out of your newly constructed shell, but in fact it was the matriarch that was staring down at you when you opened up, one hand on her hip as she marched past you into the room.  ‘We need to talk.’

‘Gemma, this really isn’t a great time-‘

‘Yeah, it hasn’t been for a while now, has it?  What the hell’s going on with you?’ You cast your eyes downward, hiding behind your curtain of hair, but she flounced forward, gripping your chin between her fingers and forcing your face upright so she could study you.  ‘You look like shit, Y/N.  You been sleeping at all?’

You tore yourself free from her grasp but shook your head all the same, turning away from her when she perched on your bed, spreading her hands wide.  ‘You need to talk to someone, sweetheart.  You can’t go on like this.  So, what is it? What’s bothering you?’

‘It’s nothing.’

‘You’re a terrible liar.’

‘I’m not lying, I’m just…’  You tailed off, growing exasperated as her eyes tracked your movements.  You’d begun to pace as she questioned you, barely conscious of the path you were treading around the room, and she stilled you with a hand around your wrist.  ‘It’s none of your business, Gemma, okay?’

‘What isn’t?’  She wasn’t backing down, especially now you’d shown some indication that there was indeed something wrong.  ‘Is it this whole thing with Ope?’  She smirked at your horrified look.  ‘What?  Jax told me.  You surprised us all with that one, but if that’s what this is all about, you need to figure it out, because you’re scaring your family.’

‘I’m not trying to scare anyone.’

‘But you are.  The guys, they’ve never seen you like this before.  They don’t know how to handle it.’

‘I just want to be left alone.’

‘We don’t let our family suffer alone,’ she reminded you sternly.  ‘It’s not our way.  Besides, they love you.’

‘I love them, too.’

‘Then get your shit together.  You’ve had your time to pout.  Enough’s enough.’


	11. Chapter 11

Your self-imposed solitary lasted another three days before Opie came to you.  The knock on the door came as you stepped out of the shower and you hurriedly wrapped a towel around yourself, before wrenching it open with a huff of frustration.  Since Gemma’s attempted intervention the guys had backed off a little, leaving you alone to wallow in your room, and you’d hoped the queen had told them to back off, that you weren’t worth their time.  As much as that would have hurt, at least it would have saved you from the disappointment you saw in their eyes every time you shut them down.  

But now here he was, your gentle giant, shooting you his crooked smile as he leant against the doorframe.  ‘Hey stranger.’

‘What do you want, Ope?’

‘Don’t worry, I’m not gonna try and tempt you out of your cave.’

‘So, why are you here?’  You tried to ignore the way his gaze had dropped to your toes and was scorching a trail up your body, lingering over your bare legs and shoulders before finally meeting yours again.  

‘Figured since you wouldn’t come out, maybe you’d let me come in.’  He bent out of sight to retrieve something from the floor beside him and when he straightened up he was holding out his offerings: a six-pack of beer and a paper bag bearing the logo of the diner you liked just outside of town.  ‘Got accosted by the guys when I came in so it might be a little cold, but it’s still gotta be better than whatever you’re surviving on in there.’

‘Cereal mostly,’ you admitted, unsure if the hunger churning in your stomach was for the burgers in his grasp or the man holding them.

‘So, can I come in?’

Sighing, you stepped back and motioned for him to step inside, your cheeks burning when he deposited the bag on the end of the bed and turned back to you, his hand ghosting over your arm as he once again took in your lack of clothing.  ‘You should get dressed.’

‘Right.’  You nodded, entranced by the naked want in his eyes, before pulling yourself together and backing towards your dresser.  ‘I’ll just…’

By the time you’d returned, dressed in an old pair of sweatpants and a vest top, Opie had settled himself on the bed with a beer in his hand and the food had been shared out onto a couple of plates that he’d obviously snagged from your little kitchenette.  The smell was mouthwatering but you held back, a shy smile quirking up the corners of your mouth as you perched on the bed beside him and reached out to cup his bearded cheek in your hand.  ‘Why are you doing this, Ope?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean, why are you here trying still when things have been so weird?  I thought you hated me.’

‘What?  Why would I hate you?’

‘Because of what happened up north.’

‘What?’  His brow was furrowed as he struggled to figure out what the hell you were talking about before realisation dawned.  ‘You mean the kiss?’

‘Yeah, the kiss.  You’ve barely spoken two words to me since then.’

‘You haven’t really been around to talk to, Y/N.’  His hand found yours and he laced your fingers together, his thumb stroking over your knuckles.  ‘Look, yeah, I mean, it kinda freaked me out a little.  We haven’t really talked about what we’re doing here, and, if anything, I thought you were pushing me away.’

‘I didn’t mean to, Ope, I just-’

‘Thing is you kissed me in front of everyone, made it pretty clear we’re, I don’t know, something, at least, then the next minute you run out of there and tell me not to follow.  I didn’t know what the hell to do with that!’

‘I know, I’m sorry.’

‘And the next morning, you’re suddenly riding bitch with Tig and that messed with my head even more.  So, I thought I’d just give you some space, let you figure out exactly what it is you want from me.’

‘Mighta needed a little longer to do that.’  You tried to keep your tone light and teasing, but you knew how unfair it was that you were keeping him hanging.  The very fact that he was sitting on your bed, with your favourite food, trying to explain his actions to you meant he had to like you, at least a little, and that he wanted something more than a couple of drunken fucks.  

‘Yeah, well, I got bored of waiting.’  He smirked and released you, patting the bed next to him and waiting until you’d clambered across him and seated yourself cross-legged at his side.  ‘You know what I realised?  Everything that’s happened with us has been wild and fuelled by tequila or too many beers, and we haven’t properly hung out since I got back in with the club, at least not alone.’

‘So, that’s what this is?’

‘Yeah, so dig in.  It’s not getting any hotter.’

You watched as he picked up his burger and took a monstrous bite, chewing loudly as grease trickled down his chin.  ‘Winston, you’re kinda gross, you know that?’

His mouth was too full of food to respond, so you grabbed the remote, flicking on the TV before you began to eat.   Despite being kinda lukewarm, it was just what you needed - the ultimate comfort food - and when you fell back against your pillow, fit to bust, you couldn’t help the hum of contentment that escaped you.  

‘Good, huh?’

‘Just what the doctor ordered.’  You grinned at him and pushed your plate away, scooting closer to him when he raised his arm so you could rest your head on his chest.  ‘Thank you, Ope.  I really needed this.’

It was true.  You couldn’t face being out there, where any of Aaron’s men could wander in under the guise of needing a service for their car.  There were too many people, too many entrances to watch, too much noise.  But you’d been lonely, shut away, trapped within your own four walls by your fear, and Opie’s presence was a tonic for that isolation.  

He reached for the remote, switching off the television and taking a deep breath as he prepared to broach a sensitive subject.  ‘You gonna tell me what’s going on with you?  You got all of us worried, Y/N.’

‘I can’t,’ you muttered, drawing your knees up so that you were curled against his side and burying your face in his shirt so that he couldn’t see the tears that his concern had brought to your eyes.  ‘It’s nothing.  I’m just…  There’s a lot going on, that’s all.’

‘Like what?’

‘Ope!  Please, just let it go!’

‘I can help you!’

‘I don’t need your help!’  Despite your tense exchange, his hold on you had only grown tighter, and you clung to him as a sob escaped you, fighting to regain control before you fell to pieces.  He didn’t press you any further, his hand rubbing soothing circles over your spine.  For the first time since you’d returned back from the run you felt truly safe and that shook you almost as much as the affection in Opie’s eyes when you lifted your head to look at him.  You could see his worry in the grim set of his mouth, but he was staring down at you as though he couldn’t quite believe that you were in his arms, and you felt the need to speak, to tell him something, even if it wasn’t what he wanted to know.  ‘Y’know, what you said before…  There really isn’t anything going on with me and Tig.  I love him, yeah, but not like that.’

‘No?’

‘No.’  You took a deep breath, rehearsing your next words in your head to see how they’d sound when you finally said them aloud.  ‘I like you, Ope.  I meant what I said in the bar.  I don’t think I even realised it at the time, but I do, I like you a lot.’

He nodded slowly and you felt your cheeks flush as you waited for him to say something, anything.  ‘So, what do you want to do?’

‘I want to do this: spend time together, take it slow, just see what happens, if that’s okay with you.’

‘I think I can do that.’

You couldn’t stop the grin that spread over your face, though you nudged him with your elbow.  ‘You like me too, right?  I mean, you don’t sound too enthusiastic there.’

‘You know I do.  I don’t need to say it.’

You pouted.  ‘Still might be nice to hear it.’  

He was on you before you realised what was happening, pinning you to the mattress as he propped himself up with an elbow either side of your head.  Then he was swooping down to catch your bottom lip between his teeth, tugging at it gently as though chastising you for letting it jut out as you sulked, before locking his mouth with yours in a heated kiss.  ‘How about I show you instead?’ he rasped as he broke away, but you shook your head, turning your face away when he tried to capture your lips again.

‘Nuh uh, say it.’

‘Really?’  His hand had slipped under the hem of your vest, trailing over your skin as it crept upwards and the temptation was almost unbearable, but teasing him was just too much fun.  You wrapped your fingers around his forearm, stilling his exploration of your body, and raising an eyebrow at him.  

‘Say it.’

He dropped his face to the crook of your neck, pressing sloppy kisses over your collarbone, eliciting a gasp from you as he sucked against the sensitive hollow.  ‘I can prove it.’

Your soft moans gave him confidence and he went for your mouth once more, but you stopped him with a hand in the centre of his chest.  ‘Say it.’  He groaned as he rested his forehead against yours, your breath mingling in the space between you as you each stood your ground.  Your tongue crept out to wet your bottom lip and you saw his eyes squeeze shut as he tried to ignore the suggestiveness of the gesture.  ‘C’mon, Ope, three little words.  Tell me.  Please.’

‘I like you.’  It came out as a low growl, but it was all you needed to hear, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, tugging his mouth back to yours, your lips meeting in a desperate clash of teeth and tongues.  ‘Does this count as taking it slow?’  He was smirking at you as he leant back to pull your top up and over your head, and you giggled as you worked open the buttons on his shirt.

‘Well, we’ve already done it twice.’

‘Not sober though.’  The vest discarded, his fingers hooked into the top of your pants, easing them down your thighs.  ‘And not on a bed.’

‘Still feels the same to me.’  The heady sensation of his touch was as intoxicating as the tequila that you’d been drinking the last time you’d kissed him, but he was pulling away, breathing hard and running his hands through his hair.  

‘No, no, it’s not the same.’  His eyes darkened as a salacious grin painted his features and he pushed you back on the mattress as his gaze raked over your naked form.  ‘We’re doing this properly this time.’

‘Properly?’

His smile grew bigger as he moved between your legs, leaning down to press a lingering kiss to your lips.  ‘I’m gonna take my time with you.’

 

* * *

 

Every cell in your body was vibrating with pleasure as you allowed yourself to be gathered up in Opie’s arms, cradled against his sweat-slicked chest as he stroked your hair back from your face.  True to his word, he had taken his time, mapping your body with his hands and mouth, finding every secret place that made you whimper and writhe beneath him.  You were utterly spent, your limbs heavy with exhaustion, but you felt lighter than you had for a long while.  It all seemed so easy now that you’d declared yourself his, staked a claim on your man.  How could you have ever doubted something that felt so good and came so naturally?  A tiny voice in the back of your head reminded you that it was stupid to even think about taking this seriously with Aaron casting a dark shadow over your future in Charming, but you shut it down.  Having Opie beside you gave you a new sense of security that even knowing that the entire MC had your back didn’t provide.  He was so tall and broad, his muscles firm and defined beneath your fingers as they traced over his tattoos, and that solidity made you feel shielded from the threats outside your door, even if you knew, realistically, that his size would not protect him from your brother’s dark violence.  

‘Hey, where’d you go?’  Opie was gazing at you intently, a soft smile on his face as he tore you from your thoughts.  ‘Thought I lost you for a minute there.’

‘I’m right here,’ you reassured him, craning your neck to kiss him and tangling your fingers in his curtain of hair.  ‘Just happy, that’s all.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Mmhmm.’  You sank back against his chest, listening to the steady thrum of his heartbeat.  ‘Tired.’

‘You wanna get some sleep?’

‘Are you staying?’

‘If you want me to.’

You nodded, letting your eyes flicker closed.  ‘It’s nice not to be alone.’

‘Get some rest then.  I’m not going anywhere.’


	12. Chapter 12

You woke to the feeling of a warm body pressed along the length of your side, and a heavy arm slung across your waist.  You kept your eyes closed, visions of the night before scrolling across the back of your eyelids, and just revelled in the feeling of being held for a little while.  Of course, you were used to falling asleep curled up to Chibs on the club couch or with Tig’s arm slung around you, but this was different, more intimate, and you were almost surprised by the warm contentment that glowed in your chest, even after your decision the previous evening to throw yourself headfirst into things with Opie and see where they went.  You needed the security and consistency of someone to call your own with everything that was going on and the man beside was one of the good ones.  You liked him, it was true, and he made you feel safe.  

Your attempts at holding on to the moment for a little longer were curtailed when you felt his lips brush over your shoulder, drifting up your neck until they were hovering millimetres from your own, and you gave a mock huff of agitation as you finally opened your eyes to look at him.  ‘Hey, I was sleeping here.’

‘No, you weren’t.’  He bent down to kiss you properly, a slow, languorous kiss that had your hands wrapping around the back of his neck so that you could hold him in place and indulge in the feeling before he pulled away.  ‘You were smiling.’

‘Yeah, well, it’s nice waking up with you in an actual bed.’

It was his turn to smile now and you inhaled deeply as you took in the handsome spectacle that was the sleep-tousled outlaw with a lazy grin on his face.  ‘How’re you doing this morning?’

You stretched, taking a quick assessment of your little aches and pains, before reporting, ‘Sore, but in a good way.  You?’

‘I’m good.’

‘I’ll bet.’

He laughed softly, reaching up a hand to stroke your hair back from your face.  ‘You wanna do something today?’

It was a test, you were sure, to see if you were willing to leave your room and venture out into the outside world with him at your side, but, strangely, that was exactly what you wanted to do.  You’d been cooped up for too long.  ‘Yeah, sure.  What did you have in mind?’

‘Well, I gotta go home and change, but maybe I could pick you up in a couple of hours and we could take a drive up into the hills.  There’s a spot up there that my pop used to take me to when I was a kid - I think you’d like it.’

‘Sounds good,’ you agreed, though you let out a soft whimper of abandonment as he rolled away from you and climbed out of bed.

You watched as he dressed, unable to stop your gaze from roaming over the miles of taut, tattooed skin as he slowly hid it from your eyes, ready to head out into the morning.  As he sat down to pull on his boots, you leant forward to trail your fingertips down his spine, feeling him tense through his shirt, a soft growl rumbling through him.  ‘You gotta stop that if we’re gonna leave this room today.’  Snatching your hand back, you smiled innocently at him as he twisted round, raising an eyebrow at you.  ‘I’ll be back around nine, okay?’

‘Okay.’  You pushed yourself up on your knees, letting the covers fall away as you snaked your arms around his neck and captured his lips, gasping against his mouth when he pulled you against him, the leather of his kutte cool against your chest.  ‘I’ll see you soon.’

 

* * *

 

Showered and dressed in a pair of cut-off shorts and a long-sleeved t-shirt, you pulled on your boots and headed down the corridor to the bar.  It was the first time in a long time that you’d left your room for anything other than work, but you knew that you needed to face up to your issues if you were really going to make a go of this with Opie and you were tired of shutting yourself away.  Your backpack was slung over one shoulder, your sunglasses resting atop your messy towel-dried hair, and you slipped them over your eyes as you stepped out into the yard and settled yourself at one of the picnic benches, letting your bag fall to the floor.  It was already a beautiful day, the sun high in the sky, though a cool breeze fought off the sweltering heat.  The place was quiet, though you could see Jax’s bike and Gemma’s SUV parked up near the garage so you knew you weren’t alone.

Sure enough, five minutes later, your best friend emerged from the TM office, a boyish grin spreading over his face when he saw you sitting there.  ‘Well, I’ll be damned.  I’d just about given up on you, darlin’.’

‘I know.’  You leant into him when he dropped down beside you, letting him wrap an arm around your shoulders and squeeze you tight.  ‘I’m sorry.  Just got lost in my own head there for a little while.’

‘You good now?’

‘Getting there.’

‘Mmhmm.’  He nodded, though you couldn’t help but notice the smirk that crossed his features as he ran an eye over you appraisingly.  ‘So, I saw Ope leaving a little while ago.  That got anything to do with this miraculous recovery?’

‘No.’  You shot him a harsh look, but couldn’t hold in the slightly besotted giggle that escaped you as he raised an eyebrow.  ‘Maybe.  Yeah, okay, things with Opie are great.  We’re kinda sorta maybe official now, seeing how it goes.’

‘Well, it’s about time.’  He scoffed and you tilted your head at him, questioningly.  ‘I told him you’d do anything for one of those burgers from downtown.’

‘You’re an ass, Teller.’

He ruffled your hair, before digging into his pocket for his cigarettes.  ‘I know.  Seriously though, I’m happy for you, both of you.  I hope things work out.’

‘Thanks.’  You watched as he lit up and inhaled deeply, noting for the first time the strain that showed behind his eyes.  ‘What’s going on with you?  Things any better with the doc?’

‘Not really.’  He offered you the cigarette, but you declined with a shake of your head.  ‘Good days and bad days, y’know.  All I can do is try and shield the boys from it as much as possible.  Got bigger issues to deal with right now anyway.’

‘Really?  Club stuff?’

‘Brother stuff.’  His eyes met yours for a moment, a frown forming on his face as though he were debating something before deciding to just press on.  ‘Ope say anything to you about his kids?’

‘Ellie and Kenny?  No, not really.  I guess they must still be with Mary, right?’

‘Yeah, that’s right.  According to Piney, they’ve barely seen their dad in weeks.  Mary’s had enough.’

‘I-I didn’t realise things had gotten that bad.’

‘He’s barely been around since Donna, Y/N.  I mean, he threw himself back into the club when all that shit went down, which I get, y’know.  But it was a long time ago and those kids need their father.’  He took another drag on his smoke, a trail of wispy grey twisting towards the sky when he exhaled, and nudged you gently with his knee.  ‘You reckon you could talk to him?  He might listen if it comes from you.  He sure as hell isn’t listening to me.’

‘Yeah.’  You nodded slowly, trying to imagine a way that you could bring it up without raising a barrier between you.  ‘Yeah, I can try.  He’s coming by in a little while and we’re gonna go for a drive, so I’ll see what I can do.’

‘Thanks, darlin’.’  He stubbed out his cigarette against the table and levered himself to his feet, stooping to press a kiss to the top of your head.  ‘I owe you.  Speakin’ of kids, I guess I better go check in with my boys.’

‘Give them both a kiss from me.’

‘Always.  I’ll catch you later.’

‘Sure.  Later, Teller.’

 

* * *

 

The drive up into the hills that bordered the town was winding and narrow, though Opie navigated it with ease, having taken the route countless times before.  He’d set the radio to a station that churned out classic rock songs, keeping the volume low so you could talk, and you propped your feet up on the dash, your elbow hanging over the lip of the open window.  ‘Are we heading to the cabin?’

‘Not quite.  Turn-off’s just before it.  I’m surprised you’ve never been up here with Jax.  I’m pretty sure JT brought him here too.’

‘Maybe he brought Tara.’  You shifted slightly uncomfortably at the thought that you might be about to recreate one of their dates, but Opie’s hand reaching over to squeeze your leg gave you a little perspective.  You were here with him, not Jax, and you slid along the bench seat to lean up against him as he drove, resting your head on his shoulder.  ‘This place really that special?’

He considered that for a moment.  ‘Not special.  Just quiet.  I find it kinda peaceful up here.  It’s where I come to get away.’

‘Sounds perfect.’  You wondered whether that was the whole point or whether it was purely coincidence that he seemed to have read your mood and given you exactly what you needed: tranquility, space, distance.  Either way, you couldn’t help but smile when he pulled the truck up to a gnarled old tree at the end of a dirt track that snaked through the wood and cut the engine.  The only sounds that reached your ears were the call of the birds and the rustle of wildlife moving through the undergrowth.

‘We’re here?’  Looking round, you couldn’t see much but dense forest, until he nodded towards a thin path worn into the scrub.  

‘Just through there.’  

He grabbed a cooler from the back and linked his fingers through yours as he led the way through the trees, steadying you when you tripped on an exposed root, and when you finally broke free from the gloom, you couldn’t help but let out an amazed laugh.  ‘Damn, I never even knew this place existed.’

In front of you was a lake, stretching out into the distance, the sun bouncing off the water in a thousand little crystal lights.  The bank was grassy and shaded by the overhanging trees, and there was nobody there but the two of you.  

‘Thought you’d like it here.’

‘It’s beautiful.’

As Opie went to work laying out a rug that had been tucked into the top of the cooler, you toed off your boots and socks and picked your way down the slope to the water’s edge, tentatively dipping a foot in.  The chill took your breath away, but you forced yourself in further, submerging your ankles and waiting for your body to adjust to the temperature.  ‘Hey, Ope!  Get in here!’

You turned back to see him watching you, standing tall in the sunlight.  He looked so devastatingly gorgeous in that moment that, as soon as he’d removed his footwear and rolled up his jeans, you launched yourself at him, his arms going around you and scooping you up as he waded in, lifting you easily.  You locked your legs around his waist as you dipped your head to kiss him, laughing when he grimaced at the water now soaking in to his shirt.  ‘If I’d known you were gonna do that, I’d have taken this off.’

‘I’m sorry!’  

‘You will be.’  

You shrieked as he began to make his way in deeper, the water level creeping up and up until it was soaking through your shorts, and then the hem of your t-shirt.  ‘Ope!’

‘What?’

‘I’m soaking!’

A deep chuckle rumbled through his chest, his hands moving from your hips to your sides, supporting you as you leaned back.  The water was blissfully cool on the back of your neck and you could feel your hair spreading out across the surface, though your legs remained tightly wrapped around the outlaw as he span in lazy circles, hauling you upright just long enough for you to tug off your shirt and drape it around his neck.  The sensation of the ripples spreading out around you chased away any residual tension from your body, and the sense of calm was almost overwhelming.  His eyes were wide as they roamed over you, the lace of your bra laying slick against your skin, glistening with moisture, your chest rising and falling as your breaths became measured and even.  ‘You’re amazing, you know that?’

You opened your eyes to look at him, smiling at the look of awe and affection painted over his features.  ‘You’re not so bad yourself, Winston.’

‘C’mere.’  Once again he tugged you upright, your chest flush with his as you used your discarded shirt to pull his mouth to yours, kissing him hungrily, the position that had felt natural and soothing now seeming intimate as his fingers bit into your thighs.  ‘I want you.’

 

* * *

 

You stayed in the water for a long time, kissing and teasing and playing, swimming a little, and letting it chase away the heat of the day as the sun climbed higher in the sky.  Your clothes had been tossed on to the bank not long after those greedy kisses and, by the time you emerged to retrieve them, they were mostly dry.  Opie had stashed a couple of towels in the truck and he wrapped one around you, rubbing his hands over your body to dry you off, before releasing you to get dressed as he did the same.

‘It’s been a good day.’  You were sitting on the floor between Opie’s legs, leaning back against his chest as you swigged from a beer from the cooler he’d brought.  You’d eaten your fill of the sandwiches and cake that he’d picked up from one of the delis in town, glad that he’d bought enough to feed a small army, and now, as you found yourself encircled once again by his strong arms, you realised that you felt happier than you could ever remember being.  ‘Thank you, Ope, for bringing me out here.  You were right, I love it.’

‘I’m glad.’  He brushed a soft kiss against your shoulder, his beard scratching against the sensitive skin.  ‘Thank you for coming with me.’

As you fell into silence again, you idly wondered what his kids were doing today, and you felt a stab of guilt for having pushed your conversation with Jax to the back of your mind.  You knew he was right about Ope spending time actually being a father, but you worried that bringing it up would end your time together on a sour note.  Taking a deep breath, you tried to keep your tone even as you ventured, ‘We should do something with Ellie and Kenny next time.’

You felt him tense behind you, but his voice was unaffected as he asked, ‘Like what?’

‘Like this.’  You twisted onto your side to curl against him trailing your fingers along his arm as it settled around your waist.  ‘But a little more PG-rated.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah.  I think it’d be fun.  I haven’t seen them around much lately and they’re cuties, Ope.’

‘Mary’s been taking ‘em for me.’

‘I know.’

‘I’ve had work and-’

‘Hey, I’m not judging.’  You reached up to place your hand at the back his neck, angling his head down so you could meet his eyes.  ‘I swear, Ope, I just think it’d be nice to spend a little time with your family, that’s all.’

‘Okay.’

‘So, that’s a yes?’

‘It’s a maybe.  Let me think about it, alright?’

‘Sure.’

The sun was starting to dip below the trees on the opposite bank, and you stretched languidly.  It wouldn’t be long before the light started to fade and you knew Opie was thinking along the same lines when he suggested packing up and heading back.

You nuzzled into his chest, fisting his shirt in your hand as your reluctance to move won out over your common sense.  ‘Can’t we just stay for five more minutes?  I’m not ready to go just yet.’

‘Five more minutes,’ he agreed, his hold on you tightening as his lips brushed over your forehead.  ‘I don’t think I’m ready to go either.’


	13. Chapter 13

Life felt good again.  After weeks of turmoil, having Opie by your side had given you the confidence to step back into the world.  You gradually worked up to drifting back into the bar in the evenings, much to the Sons’ relief.  The first time you’d ventured down the corridor at the sound of the jukebox starting up, Tig had let out a loud cheer and swept you up in his arms, swinging you round ‘til you were dizzy.  When he’d set you down, your eyes had sought out Opie, concerned that he’d be hurt by the obvious display of affection, but he just smiled at you and nodded for you to continue.  He knew it was him you wanted.  Tig wasn’t much of a threat anymore.

'What can I get you, sweetheart?’ the wild-haired man was asking, his hand on your back as he guided you towards the bar.  'You on the hard stuff?’

'Tryin’ to get me drunk, Tigger?’

'Always.’

He winked at you before slinging an arm around your shoulders and gesturing to the prospect behind the bar.  'Whiskey.  We’ll take the bottle.’

You’d spent most of that evening curled up between Tig and Chibs on the couch, letting the alcohol warm your veins, and if Opie thought it was strange that you didn’t mention your new relationship at any point, then he kept it to himself.  Maybe he felt the same as you did, wanting to treasure it for just a bit longer, before letting prying eyes in to pass comment.  Not that you thought the guys would disapprove, but there would be expectations put on you and you weren’t sure you were ready for that.  You’d always said you’d never be an old lady, though you knew you’d have weakened for Jax, but you just never saw Opie coming.  You needed a little more time to settle in to the role before going public.

The only person who knew, of course, was your best friend.  When you excused yourself that same night to follow him up to the roof, you found him in his usual place, watching over the yard, his empire, twisting a cigarette between his fingers.  He looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and you cursed yourself for not being there for him more recently.  You’d shut yourself away to deal with your own issues, not even considering at the time how that might affect the people that depended on you, and now it felt very selfish.  

'Hey, can I bum one of those?’  His eyes met yours as he glanced up and you took the packet he offered you as you dropped down beside him, removing a cigarette before handing it back.

'Good to have you back.’  He wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead as you lit up.  'I think Tig was missing his drinking buddy.’

'Tig doesn’t need a drinking buddy,’ you scoffed.

'Yeah, but he missed you, Y/N.  We all did.’

'I know.  I’m sorry.’

'You doing okay now, darlin’?’

'Better,’ you reassured him, leaning into him as a particularly cool breeze chilled your skin.  

'And you and Ope…?’

'We’re good.’  You couldn’t fight the grin that crept over your lips.  'Thank you for keeping it to yourself.  I’m not sure I’m ready to officially take on the Old Lady mantle.’

'Wasn’t my news to share.’  He chucked softly, running a hand through his hair as he clamped his smoke between his lips.  'Damn, I can’t wrap my head around the fact that you’re an Old Lady now.  It’s kinda crazy.’

'Tell me about it.  I’m not sure I’m cut out for it to be honest.  I look at your mom and Tara and I just don’t have it in me to be like that.’

'Ya don’t need to be.’  He sighed, shaking his head.  'The fact you’re not like them, that’s what’s gonna make you good at this.  You just gotta rise above the politics and the mess.  The only job you have is to be there for Ope and the club, and you already do that, every day.’

You nodded slowly.  'I guess you’re right.’  When he didn’t speak again, his frown highlighted by the glow of his cigarette as he inhaled deeply, you ventured, 'So, how are things with your old lady?’

The smile that twisted his features was cold and pained, not quite reaching his eyes, and the hold he had on you tightened just a little.  'You don’t wanna know.’

'Jax…’

'She wants to leave.  Got offered a job in Oregon.  I’m not sure how much longer I can keep fighting, Y/N.’

'I’m sorry.’  Your words were almost inaudible over the sound of laughter from downstairs, but you were struggling to know what to say, hating to watch him suffer as his family was torn apart.  You could see him struggling to hold it together so you shifted so you could slip a hand to the back of his neck and pull his head into your shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to the top.  You sat like that for a long time, stroking the hair back from his face, as he shuddered against you and wondered where it had all gone so wrong.

When he finally pulled away, dropping his smoke to the ground and grinding it under his heel, a laugh full of sadness rumbled through his chest.  'You know the stupid thing?  I kinda feel like I’m losing both my best girls.’

Your eyes locked and for a moment you couldn’t breathe.  You could see the sincerity in his gaze and it burned.  'What do you mean?’

'I don’t know.  Whenever things have been bad with Tara, I’ve always had you, y’know?  You’ve always felt like mine and now you’re not anymore.’

'I was never just yours, Jax,’ you insisted, though you knew that wasn’t entirely true.  'It wouldn’t have been right with Tara-’

'I know that.’  He turned to look out over the T-M lot again, exhaling loudly.  'It just felt like you were.  Sometimes I wish I’d met you before Tara came back to Charming.  Life woulda been so much easier.’

'You mean…?’  You tailed off, your stomach churning as you processed the weight of his words.  So, somewhere in an alternate universe where you’d summoned up the courage to flee from your brother just a little bit sooner, you were Jax Teller’s salvation.  It cut just a little to think how differently things could have turned out.

'I’m sorry.  I know that’s not fair.  You’re with Ope now.’

'I am.’

'I shouldn’t have said anything.’

Uncomfortable, you stood, needing to remove yourself from the arm that was still holding you close.  His touch was making your head swim in light of this new revelation and you needed some distance.  'Look, it doesn’t matter, Jax, okay?  You’re with Tara and you need to sort out what you’re doing for the sake of your boys.  And I’m with Ope.’  You pictured him down in the bar, your gentle giant who had been through more than his fair share of loss and suffering.  'Things worked out for the best.’

'But-’

'Go home to your wife, Teller.’

 

* * *

 

A couple of weeks later you were woken early by the warm body beside you shifting.  You’d expected to be spending the night alone with the MC out of town for a couple of days on a run, but it seemed that they’d gotten back under the cover of darkness, and Opie had slipped between your sheets and your thighs in the early hours, his mouth seeking yours as he woke you with his heated touch, stroking and teasing until you were fully conscious and anxious for him to fall into you.  His hair tickled your shoulder as he leant over you, peppering your shoulder with scratchy kisses as you stirred in his arms.  

'Morning.’  He still sounded tired and when you rolled to face him you could see the dark shadows beneath his eyes, but he was smiling and that was all you really cared about.  He was home in one piece and happy.

'Good morning, handsome.’

'Sorry for waking you up last night.  I just needed to see you.’

'It’s okay.’  Your fingers were lacing into the locks that curtained his face, pulling him down so you could kiss him, inhaling at the familiar peace that washed over you when his lips met yours.  'I’ve had worse wake-up calls.’

'Yeah?’

'Oh yeah.’  You gazed up at him from beneath your lashes, a lascivious smirk quirking up one corner of your mouth as you registered the hungry way that his hands were kneading your flesh.  'It’s all a little fuzzy though.  I mean, I was pretty tired.’

'Really?’

'Mmhmm.  You might need to remind me, how exactly did you wake me again?’

God you loved being pinned beneath this man, loved how big he was, that he could wrap you up in his arms and the rest of the world would just fall away.  When Opie was holding you, your bodies joined, flush so that you didn’t know where he ended and you began, all of your worries disappeared and you weren’t afraid anymore.  You knew there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to protect you, and, when your brain was hazy with lust, you believed he was capable of doing just that.

In truth, it had been months since you’d discovered the mask on your bed and you’d seen no sign of The Collective since.  You weren’t stupid enough to think that Aaron had given up or changed his mind - he’d be back for you, for sure - but it was enough to give you hope that maybe something else had come up, another distraction, and that might keep him from your door a little longer.  Slowly, you’d felt yourself relax, striding out into the yard with confidence and loitering in the garage with the guys as they worked, enjoying their company without feeling the need to constantly check for those watching.  You still had the slip of paper Juice had given you with the actor’s details on, but you’d done nothing to pursue that avenue of investigation, firstly due to fear and now because you didn’t want to pull their attention back your way if they were otherwise occupied.  Better to lay low, make every day count and cherish the time you had left before they re-emerged.  

'I could stay like this all day,’ you sighed contentedly as Opie rolled off of you, spent and, for the moment at least, sated, and he grinned, his fingers tracing over the soft skin of your stomach.  'Can we?’

'Not today.’  His smile only grew when your face fell and he leant over to kiss you long and hard, pulling away when you tried to hold him in place.  'Erm, Mary asked me to take the kids actually.’  He suddenly looked very unsure, avoiding your eyes as he picked at the stitching on the sheet that covered you until you rested your hand over his.  'I was wondering if maybe you wanted to spend the day with my family.’

Remembering your conversation by the lake all those weeks ago, you felt warmth blossom in your chest, knowing that he remembered it too, that this was a massive step forward for him and for the both of you.  'I’d love that.’

You moved to kiss him again, but he stayed out of reach, still looking uncertain.  'And then Gemma’s cooking dinner for everyone tonight-’

'I know, Ope.’

’-and I thought we could go.  Together, I mean.  I don’t wanna hide this anymore.’

You hadn’t told him about the conversation with Jax and your best friend hadn’t brought it up again, acting as though nothing had happened.  You were more than happy to take his lead on that and, now, the idea of coming out to the club made all the sense in the world.  It was time.  You were ready.  'Me neither.  You’re right.  Of course, I’ll go with you.’

Now, he kissed you, lazy kisses that felt like home, his smile against your lips making him taste all the sweeter.  


	14. Chapter 14

You smiled in contentment as you watched Kenny and Ellie charge around the playground together, whooping and shrieking.  The kids had been quiet when you’d first arrived with Opie to pick them up, shy and uncomfortable, but you figured that was to be expected.  From what Jax had told you, their father was pretty much a stranger to them these days, and he’d spent a long time behind bars when they were younger.  It hadn’t taken much to coax them from their shells though and, mountainous bowls of ice cream later, you’d managed to engage them both in a boisterous water fight, passing out the hastily acquired water pistols that you’d dashed into town for that morning.  It had been the perfect ice-breaker, particularly when you’d announced that it was boys versus girls and Opie had hoisted his little lad up in his arms, spinning him round and round to ensure that both you and Ellie got the thorough dousing you deserved.  

Now, you sat in the circle of his arms on the picnic bench, straddling the seat so that you could lean back against his chest as he tore his attention away from his children every now and then to press fleeting kisses to your neck and shoulders.  The afternoon sun was drying your clothes, warming your skin as you reached up to pull your hair into a messy ponytail.  

‘Thank you for this.’

You craned your neck to smile at Ope, feeling butterflies spring to life in your stomach when you took in his relaxed state.  He seemed more at peace than you’d ever known him and, you realised with a pang, that his disconnect from his family had been unintentional.  He didn’t not want to spend time with his kids.  He just didn’t know how to without Donna at his side.  The satisfaction in his dark eyes now told you that today might have been an important first step and he’d let you be a part of it.  That meant the world.

‘It’s been a good day.’  You stifled a yawn and felt him laugh, his amusement rumbling through his body.

‘You tired, baby?’

‘Mmhmm.’  You twisted to snuggle into his shoulder as his arms tightened around your waist.  You knew that if you let yourself close your eyes, you could fall asleep right there.

‘You gotta find a second wind.  We’ve still got dinner at Gemma’s tonight.’

His mention of your plans later on had you glancing at your watch and you huffed quietly.  ‘We should probably get going if we’re gonna make it on time.’

‘She’ll kill us if we’re late.’

‘Speak for yourself.  She’ll kill me if I’m not there super early to help set up.’

‘No time to head home and change then?’

You cast a critical eye down your body, taking in your grass-stained jeans, creased shirt, and battered Converse.  ‘Guess not?’

‘You look perfect,’ he reassured you, slipping a hand to the side of your neck so he could turn your head and capture your mouth for a moment.  You could feel him toying with the idea of deepening the kiss, teasing you, but Ellie’s over-excited laughter drifting over from the park reminded him where you were and he reluctantly broke away.  ‘C’mon, guys!  Time to go!’

You chuckled at their groans of disappointment, a sure sign that they’d both enjoyed themselves even if you were now tearing them away.  They dragged their feet behind you as you made your way back to the car, still grumbling.  

‘They had fun,’ you reassured Opie whose face had fallen.  ‘We should do this again sometime.’

‘I couldn’t have done it without you,’ he admitted.  ‘I don’t know how to be on my own with them anymore.’

‘You’d be fine, Ope.’

‘I don’t know.’  His hand found yours, lacing your fingers together.  ‘Donna was such a great mom.  I don’t know how to be that for them.  I don’t even know how to talk to them.’

‘So, tell them that.  Let them talk to you.’  You nudged him with your elbow, forcing him to meet your gaze.  ‘You’re a good dad.  You’re just a little out of practice.’

He nodded, though you could still see the anxiety writ over his face.  ‘I’m still glad you’re gonna be with me tonight.  They haven’t been to one of Gemma’s parties for a while.’

‘There will be plenty of people to help you out with them tonight,’ you pointed out.  ‘They’ll be welcomed back with open arms, just you wait.’

‘Maybe.’  It unsettled you to see your beast of a man looking so unsure.  ‘Just stick with me, okay?’

‘Of course.’

 

* * *

 

Traffic was bad and by the time you pulled up outside Clay and Gemma’s place, you could hear voices spilling out into the early evening air.  You cast Opie an awkward smile as you slipped from the passenger seat, landing with a soft thud on the sidewalk.  This felt like a big moment, even though most of those present would have seen your drunken kiss on the charity run, and you weren’t sure how to position yourself, what to do with your hands.  Should you link your fingers with his, or sidle close so he could wrap an arm around your waist?  Or would that look too territorial?  Should you stick by his side and see how Opie decided to handle it?  Or would that look too disinterested?  Should you just march ahead as you would have done without this revelation hanging over you, make a beeline for the kitchen and throw yourself into helping wherever the matriarch needed you?  That felt like the easiest option, though you also knew it was the coward’s way out, so instead you waited whilst the kids joined you on the front path, before making your way to the front door with Opie at your side, one hand resting on the small of your back.  That felt good, natural, and you decided to just follow his lead.  After all, he had more experience with the whole old lady thing than you did!

The door was unlocked and you pushed it open, pausing to let the kids pass you and step inside before moving to follow them, only to find yourself shoved backwards by Jax as he stormed from the building.  You could hear Tara’s voice echoing from somewhere inside as her temper got the better of her.

‘That’s right!  Walk away!  That’s what you always do, but it doesn’t solve anything!’

You watched as he faltered, falling forward to rest his hands on his knees, his breathing heavy as he tried to calm himself.

‘Fine!  Go!  But I’m warning you, Jax, we might not be here when you come back!’

The smash of crockery breaking jolted both you and your friend into action, as he strode towards his bike and you made to follow him, mouthing an apology to Opie who was watching the proceedings with concern in his eyes.

‘Jax, what’s going on?  Are you okay?’

He was fastening his helmet, shaking his head, in a hurry to escape the atmosphere that had descended over his mother’s home.  ‘I-I can’t…  I need to get out of here.’

You made a split second decision, swinging your leg over the motorcycle behind him and wrapping your arms around his waist.  You knew you were breaking your promise to Opie and you hated yourself for it, but your best friend needed you more in that moment and you couldn’t let him down.  At the end of the day, he was Ope’s best friend too, so he’d understand.  ‘I’m coming with you.’

If you’d seen the look of hurt on the abandoned father’s face as you peeled out of the drive and took off down the street, it would have broken your heart.

 

* * *

 

When Jax slowed the bike down near to the top of one of the highest peaks that bordered the small town, you loosened your grip on him, preparing to climb off and stretch out your muscles.  You hadn’t been riding for long, but he was agitated, whizzing along at breakneck speeds, and you’d been clutching him tightly, scared for the first time that he might lose control.

Loose gravel crunched underfoot as you dismounted and your gaze was drawn immediately to the view of Charming, lit down below by the glow of streetlights.  ‘Wow.’

Jax only grunted, marching past you and throwing himself down on the grass that bordered the small parking lot, immediately reaching for his cigarettes, then cursing when he realised that he’d left them in Gemma’s kitchen.

‘Hey.’  You moved to sit beside him, tentative as you felt his anger rolling off of him in waves.  You’d seen Jax mad before, more times than you could count, but it was usually club business that got him riled up, and he was largely able to shut it down as quickly as it had risen.  This was personal and it had taken him over, dragging him down to somewhere dark deep within and clouding his vision.  ‘Talk to me, Teller.  What was that back there?’

‘Just more of the same,’ he snapped.  ‘Nothing I do is ever right.  I’m letting her down, I’m letting the boys down.  Apparently, I’m just a terrible father.’

‘That’s not true.’

‘Really?  I won’t give up the club for my sons.  What does that say about me?’

‘It says that you want to provide for them, to keep them safe.’

‘Well, then why the hell can’t she see that?’  His voice was raised, his hands clenched into tight fists, the metal of his rings biting in to his fingers.  ‘Dammit, Y/N, she knew what I was right from the start!  She came back to this town for me knowing how deep I was in with the club!  I’ve never lied to her about my life!’

‘I know.’

‘So, why does she seem to hate me for it?’  He growled in frustration, drawing his knees up to his chest.  ‘When I’m home, she wants me gone.  When I’m away on a run, she acts like I’ve abandoned her.  I don’t know what to do anymore.  I don’t know how to be the man she needs.’

‘Jax-’

‘She thinks I’m leading Abel and Thomas into a life that’s gonna get them killed, just like JT did to me.’  He ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes full of fear and confusion when he turned to look at you.  ‘Do you think she’s right?’

You hesitated for a moment, trying to figure out how best to phrase your answer.  ‘I think that you spent a lot of time around the club growing up and that, when you’re a kid, you only see the cool bikes and the leather kuttes, and you want to be a part of that, yeah.  But, you have to be, what, 18 before you’re even allowed to prospect?’

He nodded.

‘And, I mean, even for a legacy, it’s gonna take a while to go through that process.  So, by the time you make that decision about whether you want to be all in, earn that rocker and wear it and embrace everything that comes with it, you know what you’re letting yourself in for.  You made that choice for you and, one day, both Abel and Thomas will make it for themselves.’

‘I don’t know.’

You scoffed, shaking your head.  ‘Come on, Jax.  You are fiercely independent to the point of just being damn pig-headed half the time and Tara’s no push-over either.  What the hell makes you think your boys will just walk blindly in to whatever’s expected of them?  If anything, they’ll rebel and join the FBI!’

That finally earned you a begrudging smirk as some of the tension left his body.  ‘That won’t happen.’

‘It might.  Would you stop them?’

‘I guess not.’

‘Then you’re not a bad father.  Just keep doing what you’re doing, Jackson.  Trust your instincts.  They’ve gotten you this far.’

He shrugged, digging the heel of his trainer into the dirt, muddying the gleaming white sole.  ‘I’m not so sure my instincts are up to much these days.’  He glanced at you uncertainly as his fingers crept across the grass and covered yours.  ‘I’m starting to think I’ve just taken one wrong turn after another.’

‘What do you mean?’  It was there again, that intense look in his eyes that you’d seem up on the clubhouse roof a couple of weeks ago, and you felt yourself melt under its heat.  

‘I mean, Tara came back and I let myself get swept up in all of the history we have together, when maybe I should’ve realised that that’s exactly what it was:  history.  We ended it for a reason, so why should things be any different this time around?’

‘You’ve been making it work so far.’

‘Barely.’  He shuffled closer, closing the space between you until you were pressed against his side, drawing your hand into his lap and absentmindedly fiddling with your rings.  ‘It’s been hard more often than it’s been easy, y’know?  We spend so much effort just trying to keep things going, to keep remembering how to love each other, and I’m starting to think it just shouldn’t be this difficult.’

‘It’s always difficult, Jax.  I guess you just have to decide if it’s worth fighting for.’

‘It’s easy with you.’  Your breath caught in your throat as his eyes locked with yours before drifting south to your lips.  ‘I should’ve figured it out a long time ago, but with you, I can actually relax.  I don’t have to worry about talking about the club or letting you in.  You get it.  You live it.’

‘That’s not enough to build a relationship on though.’

‘I know.  But it’s more than that.  I mean, you’re my best friend.’

‘And you’re mine but-’

‘Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.’

You opened your mouth to deny it, letting it snap closed when you realised that you couldn’t.  There was a time when Jax Teller had been your everything.  You gravitated towards him when he walked into a room and missed him when he walked out again.  The lines between friendship and something more had blurred early on for you, but he’d never shown an interest, never even hinted at wanting more.

He was leaning closer, releasing your hand to wrap his arm around your waist, pulling you in as a small smile quirked up his lips, and then his mouth was on yours and everything went in to slow motion.  His kiss was different to Opie’s, you remembered, more demanding, more confident.  The smokey taste of him was intoxicating and yet a nagging thought at the back of your mind stopped you from falling completely under his spell.  His hands were warm on your face as he held you in place, sinking in deeper, sensing your resistance and trying to break through the barriers that you were mentally building in his path, but it was no use and, for the second time, you broke the kiss by pushing him away.  ‘No!’

‘Y/N-’

‘No, Jax, I’m with Ope now.  You know that.  God, you actively encouraged it!’  You scrambled to your feet, pacing frantically back and forth and scrubbing your hand over your mouth, trying to cleanse yourself of the feel of him.  

‘I know.  I’m an idiot, but-’

‘Yeah, you are an idiot.  What the hell were you thinking?  How exactly does this work, Teller?  You literally have zero interest in me for years and then I find someone else and suddenly I’m everything you’ve ever wanted?  Do you know how ridiculous that is?’

‘I know, I’m sorry, but-’

‘No, just stop talking.’  You rounded on him as he stood, moving closer to shove a pointed finger into his chest.  ‘I liked you, Jax, I did, more than you probably ever realised, and, if we’d been having this conversation six months ago, it would be going completely differently.  But you didn’t want me and I moved on, so stop dragging me in to your petty relationship drama, okay?  I’m happy with Opie, I am.  He makes me smile and he makes me feel safe, and I can’t imagine giving that up, not even for you.’

You saw the exact moment that the guilt hit him and his shoulders slumped in defeat as he pressed his hands to his temples, exhaling loudly.  ‘I’m sorry.  You’re right.  It won’t happen again, I promise.  I was just mad and strung out and I… I love you, Y/N.  You’re my best friend.’

‘I know.’  You took a deep breath to steady yourself before stepping into his arms, letting him hold you tight for a moment.  ‘You’re mine too, Jax, but that’s all this can be, okay?  This can’t happen again.’

‘I know.’

‘Good.  Now, will you please just take me home?’

‘You don’t want me to take you back to Ope?’

‘No.’  You shook your head, knowing you weren’t ready to face him yet.  ‘No, I just want my bed, please.  Take me home.’

But when you finally got back to your room, it wasn’t the haven you needed it to be.  You switched on the light, staring dazedly around you as you processed what it was that you were seeing, the panic tightening in your chest as a knot of dread formed in your stomach.  And then you opened your mouth and screamed.


	15. Chapter 15

‘Y/N, what is it?  What’s wrong?’  Jax had come running when he’d heard you scream, confused to find you still standing in the doorway of your dorm, your hand frozen on the lightswitch, seemingly unharmed.  ‘Y/N, talk to me.  What the hell…?’

He tailed off as he pushed the door open further, his eyes scanning the room as he took in the nightmare that you’d walked in to.  Every surface was blanketed in photographs: the walls, the bed, the chest of drawers.  They were even scattered over the carpet, and he stooped to pick one up, frowning in confusion when he saw you staring back at him alongside his own face.  He remembered that day, that conversation.  It was one of the tense exchanges you’d had when he’d tried to coax you into spending some time in the bar with him and the guys, instead of scurrying back to your room as soon as your shift in the office ended.  Who the hell had been watching you, taking pictures?  He racked his brain to try and remember, but he couldn’t place anything, and, as he surveyed the chaos again, he realised that your face was everywhere, in every single photo, sometimes alone, sometimes with him or Ope or one of the others.  

‘Jax.’  His name fell from your lips, your hand reaching out to clutch at his kutte, and he wrapped an arm around you, holding you upright when your knees buckled.

‘It’s okay, I’ve got you.  C’mon, I’m getting you out of here.’  

He led you away, tossing the picture he held back onto the floor and letting the door click closed behind you as he guided you in to the bar.  You were trembling, your whole body racked with shivers as you fought to keep it together, but the blood had drained from your face and you couldn’t stop the pervading cold that had snaked its way into your veins.  You were vaguely aware of him depositing you on the couch, perching on the cushion beside you, one hand resting on your knee, squeezing gently to try to focus your attention.  ‘Y/N, you’ve gotta talk to me.  You need to tell me who did this.  Who’s watching you?’

‘Ope.’

His frown deepened and he shook his head.  ‘No, Y/N, Ope wouldn’t-’

‘No.’  Your eyes finally found his and you took a deep shuddering breath.  ‘No, I want Ope, please.  Call him.  Get him here.’

‘But-’

‘I’ll tell you,’ you promised.  ‘I’ll tell you everything.  But I need him.  Please, Jax, I need Opie.  I can’t do this without him.’

As he left you to step outside, your mind drifted back to the moment you’d flooded your room with light and a choked sob forced its way up your throat.  You’d thought Aaron had backed off, that you’d been granted a brief reprieve whilst he focused his attention elsewhere.  You’d been wrong.  He’d been there the whole time, watching you, taking pictures as you went about your life, oblivious, encroaching on private moments that you hadn’t wanted to share.  There had been pictures of you and Opie in the lake, your body wrapped around his in the water; grainy photos taken through your window of the two of you laying in bed, your legs tangled above the sheets; blurred images of you flying past on the back of his bike.  There was no way one person could have captured all that.  He must have a team on you, all the time, and, if that was true, it meant you probably had somebody watching you right now.

The thought terrified you and you drew your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them, as though you could shield yourself from whatever threat was lurking nearby.  You had to face facts, couldn’t play it down any longer.  The Collective were coming for you and the only thing you could do was run.

 

* * *

 

You were still curled up on the couch when Opie burst into the clubhouse, looking round wildly.  You weren’t sure how much Jax had told him over the phone, but it became obvious that he hadn’t shared any details when he dropped into a low crouch in front of you, his hands cupping your face as he took in your puffy eyes and tear-streaked cheeks.  His eyes flicked from you to Jax, questioning, but, when you opened your mouth to speak, the only thing you could do was whimper his name, and then he was gathering you up in his arms, holding you so tight that you almost couldn’t breathe, but you didn’t care.  He had you, was cradling you to his chest so he could lift you and take your seat, setting you down in his lap as he tried to soothe away your fears.  

When your sobs had subsided, his hold on you loosened, his voice calm and steady as he asked you, ‘What’s wrong?’

‘I-I can’t-’

‘You have to show him, Y/N,’ Jax interjected, pushing himself to his feet and nodding towards the corridor beside the bar.  ‘He needs to see for himself.’

‘I can’t go back in there,’ you sniffled.  You could still see the scene every time you closed your eyes.  You knew it would haunt your nightmares for a long time and revisiting it would only make it worse.  ‘I’m sorry, I just can’t.  Jax, can you…?’

He nodded and you slid from Opie’s lap, feeling the loss of contact intensely when he stood and followed his friend from the room.  You strained your ears to hear the reaction, but none came, though you could see from the tension in their shoulders when they reappeared that some sort of exchange had taken place.  

Opie’s eyes were pleading as he dropped to his knees before you, his hands on your thighs.  ‘Y/N, you’ve gotta talk to us, baby.  We need to know what’s going on here.’

‘Is it them?’  Jax was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, his mouth set in a thin line of grim determination.  ‘Have they found you?’

You should’ve known he would figure it out sooner rather than later.  Jax was smart and he knew more about your history than anyone.  It wouldn’t have taken long for him to figure out who would have a vested interest in scaring you senseless.  

You nodded, and he growled low in his chest, letting his hands drop to smack against the wall at his sides.  ‘Dammit.’

‘Them?’  Ope wasn’t following, though it didn’t take him long to catch up.  ‘Your brother’s guys?’

‘Yeah.’  You swallowed hard, knowing that it was time to come clean.  It didn’t matter how hard you tried to keep your boys safe.  If there were members of The Collective lurking around the garage and clubhouse at all hours, they were already at risk, and they needed to know what they were up against.  ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.  I’ve been trying to handle it on my own and I thought it was better if-’

‘Handle it?’  Opie and Jax exchanged a look, before the Vice-President continued.  ‘You mean this is something that’s been going on?  This isn’t the first thing that’s happened?’

You shook your head.  ‘No.’

‘Is this why you were acting strange before?  You were hiding from something?’

Again, you nodded, your heart in your mouth as Opie squeezed his eyes shut, as though he couldn’t bear the thought of you coping alone.  ‘It started the week before the charity run.  I got a letter.’

‘The plastic surgeon?’ Opie asked, huffing in disbelief when you confirmed it.  ‘Shit.’

‘It didn’t say much.  Just enough to let me know that they knew where I was.’

‘How did they find out?’  You could see Jax’s mind whirring as he tried to piece things together but knew he needed your input for this part.

‘You remember the actor that kicked off at Cara Cara?  The one playing a mechanic or something?  I had Juice check him out.  He’s from the right neck of the woods and, I don’t know, there was something about the way he was looking at me…  I can’t explain it.  But I’m pretty sure he’s one of them.’

‘A pornstar?’

‘Hey, they’re not all into the drugs and money.’  You shrugged.  ‘Some of them are just muscle for hire.  Means they have to stay in shape, work kinda crazy hours.  I wouldn’t be surprised if most of them are earning on the side.’  When they didn’t question you any further, you carried on.  ‘I thought if I went on the run with you, got away from Charming for a few days, maybe they’d figure they got a bad lead, or get bored and move on.’

Jax gave a humourless laugh.  ‘Really?’

‘Yeah, I know, it was stupid.  I wasn’t really thinking straight.  I just… I needed some space to clear my head and when I came back, someone had left a mask on my pillow.’

Your friend’s sharp intake of breath dragged your gaze to where he still stood, growing more agitated with each passing minute.  ‘They were in your dorm?’

‘One of them, at least.’

‘And that’s when you started shutting us out.’  Opie had fallen silent, but now he spoke up and you could tell that he was trying to keep the hurt from his voice.  ‘I knew something was going on with you, but you just kept saying-’

‘I know.’  You cut him off.  ‘I lied to everyone.  I’m sorry, Ope, really I am.  But I just didn’t want any of you to get hurt.  Honestly, I thought I was gonna have to run again.’

‘So, why didn’t you?’  You knew it was a challenge, even if he didn’t intend it as one.  He wanted to be the reason that you’d stayed, even if you hadn’t felt able to open up to him, and he was, partly.

‘The last time I ran away from them, I had nothing to lose,’ you explained.  ‘I was at rock bottom and I thought I’d rather be dead than have to live like that for a second longer.  But now, I have a life and I have a family and people that I care about.  I guess, it wasn’t as easy to just take off this time around.’

‘So, what happened next?’  Jax was keen to steer the conversation back on course, needing a timeline of events to get things straight in his head.

‘Nothing.’  At their confused looks, you gave a tight smile.  ‘Nothing happened for a long time.  I thought maybe something had come up and they’d had to focus on dealing with that instead of me or…  I don’t know.  But it all got quiet and then we happened.’  You turned your attention to Opie, stroking a hand over his cheek before letting your fingers tangle in his hair.  ‘And I got my confidence back a little.’

‘And then this happened,’ Jax finished for you and you sighed.

‘Yeah.  I should’ve known, really.  Aaron’s not just gonna let me slip through his fingers again, Jax.  He’s gonna go all out to get me back.’

‘I still don’t understand why you didn’t talk to me.’  Opie’s hands had found yours where they’d settled at the back of his neck and you leant forward to rest your forehead against his, breathing in his familiar scent and letting it calm the racing pulse that thudded in your throat.  

‘I was terrified, Ope.  These guys, they’re killers and they have all kinds of powerful people on their payroll.  If you tried to protect me and got hurt or worse, I couldn’t forgive myself for that.’

‘I can’t just stand by and watch them hurt you.’

‘Which is why I have to go.’  You watched as the emotions passed over his face: frustration, hurt, disappointment, anger.  ‘I’m sorry, Opie.  You have no idea how sorry I am.  I don’t wanna leave you, but I can’t let you risk your life for me, any of you.’

‘It’s not your choice anymore.’  Jax’s voice was stern, his authority shining out as he stepped away from the wall and steeled himself against your protestations.  ‘It’s a club matter now.’

‘No, Jax-’

‘We’ll take it to the table, let the guys decide if they wanna get involved.’

‘But-’

‘You should be there.’  He fixed you with cold eyes, all business now that you’d spilled your secrets.  ‘They’d wanna hear it from you.’

‘I don’t know if I can.’

‘You can,’ Opie reassured you.  ‘I’ll be right there with you.  I promise you, I won’t leave your side.’

And you knew that, unlike you, Opie would stand by his word, giving you the strength you needed to face your demons in front of the men that had become your world.


	16. Chapter 16

You could feel confused eyes watching you as you fidgeted in your seat, your fingers gripping the edge of the table white-knuckle tight as you tried to control the nerves that were churning in your stomach.  There had been some murmurs of uncertainty as the men had filed into the room to find that the seating arrangement had changed somewhat.  Jax still sat at Clay’s left-hand but an extra chair had been squeezed in beside him, where you were now perched, with Opie on your other side.  They were your rocks, these two men.  It was only the gentle solidity of their presence that kept you sitting there when all you really wanted to do was run.

‘Everythin’ okay, boss?’  Chibs’ eyes flicked from you to Clay as he tried to figure out what was happening here, but a sharp nod from the President silenced him, and he took his seat without another word.  

‘Alright,’ Clay addressed his club once they were settled, his gaze falling upon each of them in turn.  ‘I’m not gonna beat around the bush here.  You can already tell that something’s going on and I’m as much in the dark as the rest of you.  Jax has something that he’d like to put to the table, which…’  He tailed off to fix you with a stern stare.  ‘I’m guessing has something to do with you.’

You swallowed hard, unable to speak, inhaling sharply when Opie reached over to take your hand, squeezing it gently as he tried to ease your discomfort.  It didn’t seem to register with any of the others around the table, the physical contact, and you supposed it wouldn’t.  It wasn’t unlike you to be tactile with the club members.  It hadn’t clued them in to the new relationship that had been blossoming under their noses.

Jax was leaning forward in his chair now, hands clasped together as he took the meeting under his control, his voice low and serious as he began.  ‘Brothers.  Thank you for making it here at such short notice.  I know I interrupted my mom’s dinner and I’m sure I’ll be paying for that later, but this couldn’t wait.’  He cleared his throat, his eyes meeting yours before he continued.  ‘You all know Y/N.  You all love her.  She’s family.  She’s a part of this club just as much as the old ladies and the crows.’

‘Damn right she is,’ Tig chipped in and you shot him a grateful smile.  

‘Now, I don’t know how much you know about how Y/N ended up here.’  Jax ignored the interruption, battling through, determined to get the ordeal over with.  ‘But I guess that most of you figured out that she was running from something.’  There were a few nods of agreement.  ‘Well, tonight she’s gonna fill in some of the gaps for you and then we’ve got some decisions to make.’  He sat back and gestured for you to start your story.  ‘The floor’s yours, darlin’.’

You took a deep breath, steadying yourself, looking to Opie for support as you wondered where on earth you were supposed to start.  The faces around the table were friendly, concerned.  Your family.  Your boys.  They were everything you had in the world and you loved each and every one.  You knew you’d find no judgement here, but what you feared most was the pity that you would surely see in their eyes once they knew the truth.  Family stuff.  That was all you’d ever told them.  Jax had been the only one that knew the full story; Opie had known the basic facts.  But now, you had to relive it all to get the MC to understand and the words stuck in your throat.  

‘You can do this.’  Opie’s voice was a low rumble, spurring you into action, and you closed your eyes, taking a moment longer before you started to speak.

‘Have any of you heard of a group called The Collective?’  Silence, though you saw Happy flinch.  ‘They’re a gang of sorts that operate south of here.  My brother is one of their leaders.’

‘What’s their business?’ Clay spoke up.

‘Drugs,’ you replied, ‘a-and girls.  That’s how they make most of their money.  They, erm… They pick up girls off the street, down-and-outs, that kinda thing, and they promise them a warm bed, new clothes, protection and enough cash to start a new life for themselves.  Then they clean ‘em up and sell them to the highest bidder.’

‘They sell them?’  Chibs’ brow was furrowed as he tried to comprehend what you meant.  ‘They whore ‘em out y’mean?’

‘Kinda.’  You shrugged.  ‘Except it’s not just for an hour or for a night.  It’s for longer.  And there is no protection or money.  People bid on them like animals and once the girl goes to the highest bidder, she’s theirs to do what they want with.  The men buying these girls, they’re not the usual clean-cut businessmen looking for a thrill, a break to the monotony.  They’re into some dark shit.  The guys that go to my brother for their hookers, they don’t just want sex.  They want an object.  Someone they can abuse to get their kicks.  And if the girl refuses, sh-she’s returned to The Collective a-and punished.’

A gasp of horror ran around the table, but nobody interrupted, so you went on.  ‘I was 12 when my folks died.  Car accident.  Aaron looked after me.  He’s older by 8 years, so he was already in with The Collective, had been since he finished high school.  Anyway, it meant he had an income, so he could afford to keep the house, pay the bills, keep us both fed.  I loved him, y’know?  He was my big brother.  He was all I had left.’  You sighed, shaking your head at your own naivety.  How simple it had all seemed back then.  Just you and Aaron against the world.  ‘For years, he kept me separate from all of that stuff.  I mean, I knew what they were, what they did, but none of the sordid details.  He always said he wanted to keep me pure, keep me safe.’

‘Sweetheart-’  Sensing your distress, Tig opened his mouth to comfort you, but was shut down by a look from Jax, whose hand came to rest on your shoulder, pushing you onwards.  

‘Everything changed when I turned 18.  Aaron had been, like, climbing the ranks or something, I guess.  And he was so nearly at the top.  He just needed one big win and he’d be in a position to take over the leadership, that’s what he told me when he was trying to justify it all in his head.  Turns out, I was his win.  He decided it was time that I started paying my way, that it wasn’t fair that he’d contributed so much to raise me since our folks passed away.  I had a job in a little deli on the corner so I wasn’t bringing much in even when I started earning, and I guess it wasn’t enough for him.  But word on the street was, if he had a virgin to put up for sale, it could fetch a small fortune, enough to set him up with a nice little lump sum in the bank and get him the respect that he wanted.’

An unexpected sob forced its way up your throat and you let your head fall forward, hiding your tears from the horrified men around you.  Opie tugged on your hand, his arm reaching out to wrap around your waist so he could pull you into his lap and hold you tight, his forehead pressed to yours.  ‘Hey, you’re okay.  I won’t let him hurt you again.  I’ve got you, baby.  You just need to hold it together for a little longer.’

You nodded, breathing in his scent and letting it calm you, bringing you back to the present, where your story kept dragging you back to the past.  You could remember just how scared you’d been when Aaron had stormed into your room at the crack of dawn and ordered you out of bed, shouting about earning your keep and making use of his resources.  That was all you’d become in his eyes: a resource, something to be cleaned up and sold for the highest price you could fetch.  

‘I’m okay,’ you murmured, brushing a soft kiss against his lips before turning to face the table once more.  It was a sure sign of how disturbing your story really was that no one had so much as blinked at the display of affection.  ‘I told him that he was too late, that I wasn’t… I mean, I’d been with a guy before.  But he just told me I was a slut and that if I didn’t keep my mouth shut he’d give me to his guys to play with.  I was sold to a District Attorney a couple of weeks later.  I don’t know who it was.  I never saw his face.  He kept me locked up, blindfolded.  It was all about power and control.’  A physical shudder ran through you at the thought of the iron shackles around your wrists, the gentle fingers that traced over your body before they’d clenched into fists and beat you until you cried.  He hadn’t tried to claim you in any other way for a long time.  It was as though he was building the suspense for himself, blackening your skin with bruises, softening you up so you’d be ready for him when the time came.  You’d been too afraid to think straight, your mind numbed by hunger and pain.  It was only as he’d bent you over the smooth wood of what you thought to be some kind of desk that your survival instincts had kicked in and you’d managed to choke out the words that had saved you from being viciously raped.  ‘When he found out that he wouldn’t be my first, that I wasn’t the innocent little girl my brother told him I was, he freaked out.  I thought he was gonna kill me.  I ended up with a couple of broken ribs and a concussion that made me puke.  And then, when he took me back to The Collective and demanded his money back…  Well, let’s just say things got a whole lot worse.’

‘And it was a DA?  You’re sure?’  Clay was the first to speak, his brow creased in a deep frown as he took in what you’d been through.  

‘They have friends in high places,’ you explained.  ‘On their payroll, using their services.  The whole system is so corrupt.  That’s why I wanted to keep the club away from this.  These guys… They’re not like anyone you’ve ever dealt with before.  They’re playing in the big leagues.’

‘So, why tell us now?’  

‘Let her finish,’ Jax bit out and the table fell silent once again.

‘Look, I know you guys have been worried about me recently.  I know I’ve been a little… off.’  You chewed on your bottom lip for a moment.  ‘The truth is Aaron’s found me.  He’s back and he’s been making his presence known.’

‘How?’ Tig’s eyes were full of fury.  ‘How’d the bastard track you down?’

‘The actor.’  Juice had put two and two together and was looking at you questioningly now.  ‘The guy from Cara Cara whose details you had me run, right?’

‘Yeah,’ you admitted.  ‘Yeah, I think it was him.  He’s from my brother’s neck of the woods.  It makes sense.  A couple of days after it all kicked off at the studio I got a letter with The Collective’s stamp at the top.  I thought maybe if I ignored it, it would all just go away, but when we got back from the charity run, one of their masks had been left on my bed.’

‘They’ve been in the clubhouse?’  Now, it was Clay’s turn to sound angry and you ducked your head to avoid the accusation in his gaze.

‘Tonight, too,’ Jax filled him in.  ‘You should go see her room.  They’ve been watching her.  Covered the walls with pictures.’

‘Shit.’  Tig’s head was in his hands now as he tried to contemplate the threat that was hanging over you.  ‘I had no fucking idea.’

‘Nobody did,’ you said, seeking to ease his sense of responsibility.  ‘It’s not something I really like to talk about.’

‘What do they want with you?’  Bobby’s tone was calm, to the point, trying to gather all of the information that he needed to make sense of this.  ‘Sounds like he’s trying to scare the shit out of you.  Why?’

‘Aaron thinks I owe him,’ you confessed.  ‘I cost them a lot of money and I ran away before they could sell me off again and earn some of it back.  Plus, I made him look stupid which is not something you do to a guy like my brother.  He wants to make me pay.’

‘So, the question is,’ Jax quietened the concerned murmurs, taking back control of the meeting and allowing you to nestle into Opie’s neck as you let the rest of the process wash over you.  ‘Do we go head to head with The Collective?  And it’s not an easy decision, boys.  Y/N’s right, these guys are big time.  We haven’t faced anyone like them before.’

‘Let’s vote it.’  You’d expected Clay’s order to be followed by a tense debate, or perhaps a loaded quiet that indicated an uncertainty of how to handle this.  Instead, a chorus of ‘Yea’ burst from the men around you and your heart skipped a beat as you raised your head to take in their eager faces.  There was no fear, no pity, just a desire to protect you, to protect the family, and you didn’t think you’d ever felt more accepted.  ‘Unanimous.  The Sons are taking on The Collective.’  The gavel came down with an ominous thwack and it was decided.

‘Thank you.’  You were too choked up to speak, but you managed to force the words out.  ‘Thank you so much.’  

One by one the men stood and filed out of the room, intent, you realised, on visiting your dorm to see what exactly had triggered this war, until you were left with only Opie, Jax, Tig and Chibs.  The four people you loved most in the world.  The Scot’s eyes were watery as he rounded the table, pulling you to your feet so that he could wrap you in a tight hug, burying his face in your hair for a moment as he rocked you gently.  ‘I’m so sorry, lass.’

And then there was a warm body pressed against you from behind and Tig’s soft curls were brushing your cheek as he joined the embrace, locking you between the two older men as Jax and Opie watched on.  ‘We got this, baby, I promise.  We’re not gonna let those assholes hurt you again.’


	17. Chapter 17

It was gone midnight by the time Opie parked his truck up outside the cabin.  The full moon cast an eerie glow over the trees as the vehicle rolled to a halt and you shuddered at the feeling of being watched, of countless eyes tracking you even now.  You knew it was unlikely - you’d taken a long, winding route to get here to ensure that you weren’t being tailed - but your paranoia was at an all-time high after the evening’s events.  Around you, bikes were pulling up, their engines idling as they waited for you to grab your things and get inside.  Most of them weren’t staying, coming along to provide an escort, just in case.  Only two riders dismounted, shadowy figures, pausing for a moment to hold a conversation in what you imagined would be hushed tones.  

‘You do understand, don’t you?’  The giant beside you had been silent for most of the journey but he spoke now, his anguish evident as he reached across to take your hand.  ‘Why I can’t stay?’

You nodded, swallowing hard.  You’d had this discussion back at the club.  You were being packed off to the cabin, the clubhouse no longer safe if The Collective were able to get inside, and one of the Sons would be assigned to stay with you, keep you safe.  Of course, you’d assumed that that would be Opie, hoped it would be, but he was too caught up in his anger to be able to sit still for that long.  ‘I get it.’

‘I can’t just sit here while there are people out there that want to hurt you.  I’ve gotta do something.  I’ve gotta help take ‘em down.’

‘I know that, Ope, I just-’

Your response was cut short by the metallic squeal of your door swinging open and you glanced up to see Chibs giving you a tight smile.  ‘Y’alright, lass?’

‘As I’m gonna be,’ you replied, honestly.  As the Scot stepped back to give you room, you slid from your seat, reaching back to grab your bag from the footwell.

‘C’mon.  Let’s get ya inside.’  He wrapped an arm around your waist, guiding you towards the cabin, and you heard the thud of Opie’s boots on the ground as he left the truck and followed.

Jax had gone ahead to unlock the door so you walked straight in, wrinkling your nose at the musty scent mingled with sweat and booze.  No one really came here anymore, except Piney Winston.  Ope’s pop had more of a tie to the place than anyone else, sneaking back here to brood and lose himself in the memories of the good old days, when him and John Teller had been younger and idealistic.  You knew they’d spent a lot of time up here when their kids had been little and before that, hunting and fishing, making plans for the MC that they would set up to find the camaraderie that they’d lost when they left the military.  Now, the old man was crashed out on one of the sagging couches, his chest rising and falling with each rasping snore, an empty liquor bottle tucked against his side.

Jax and Opie exchanged a glance as the old man slept on, oblivious to the audience that now stood around him, and Opie sighed.  ‘Let’s get him up.’

His son’s hand on his shoulder finally stirred Piney and he blinked blearily up at you as he was hauled to his feet.  ‘What’s going on?’

‘I’m taking you home, Pop.’

‘What if I don’t wanna go home?  What time is it?’

‘Late.  I’ve got a lot I need to fill you in on.  Y/N and Chibs are gonna be staying here for a few days, but the club needs you sober.’

Piney grunted but put up little resistance when, between them, the two younger men manhandled him out to the car.  Chibs had left your side during the exchange, taking your bags through to the bedrooms and, you imagined, making up the beds with fresh sheets from the small closet, so you sank down on the couch alone, chewing on your thumbnail.  Despite the fact that your brother had been toying with you for weeks now, it seemed to have all escalated so quickly that you hadn’t had a chance to catch your breath.  Now that the MC were involved, you knew they’d seek Aaron out, take the fight to The Collective and you felt the knot in your stomach tighten as you considered what the consequences of that might be.  God, how had it come to this?  You’d been so happy…

Your quiet contemplation was interrupted by Opie’s return.  Despite your disappointment that he was leaving you, it was instinctive for you to push yourself upright and go to him, stepping into his arms and feeling yourself relax just a little as they came around you, holding you tight.  You could feel his warmth penetrating his kutte, taking the edge of the late night chill, and you huddled closer, wishing that he could just pick you up and carry you away from everything that wanted to hurt you.  ‘I hate this.’

‘I know, babe.  But it’s all gonna be okay, I promise.  Chibs is gonna keep you safe and we’re gonna deal with your brother.’

‘I’m not sure it’s gonna be that simple, Ope.’

‘Maybe not, but I’m not gonna let him hurt you, Y/N.’

You sighed, leaning back to meet his gaze so he could see the concern writ over your face.  ‘I’m more worried about him hurting you right now.  Promise me you’ll be careful.’

‘I will.’

‘I don’t wanna lose you.’

‘I’m not going anywhere.’  He stooped to capture your mouth, unable to stop the smile that quirked up his lips when you responded urgently, needing to drink him in before he left.  You couldn’t fight the feeling of doom that had settled over you and you hated that you wouldn’t know what was going on, isolated up here in the hills.

‘Ope, we’ve gotta hit the road.’  Jax’s voice cut through the moment and you tensed, holding on tight for just a second longer before moving back, watching as Opie pulled his beanie down further on his head and nodded to you.

‘I’ll call you in the morning.’

As he ducked out of the door, Jax stepped forward and reached out to cup your face.  Memories of the kiss that you’d shared earlier that evening, forgotten in the chaos that had followed, came rushing back at his touch but you didn’t flinch away.  You didn’t know what you would have done without him over the past few hours.  It didn’t matter what was going through his head or how messed up Tara had him, he was your best friend and you were determined not to let anything get in the way of that.  ‘I’ll watch out for him, Y/N.  We’ll deal with this.’

‘Watch out for yourself, too, Teller,’ you instructed with a frown.  ‘I don’t want to lose either of you.  Any of you.’

‘We’ll be careful.’

‘Please.’  

The Vice-President took leaned closer, bending to press a kiss to your forehead.  ‘Love you, darlin’.’

‘Love you too, Jax.’

His gaze held yours for a beat too long, his expression unreadable, but then, to your relief, he was pulling away and turning towards the door.  ‘Be good for Chibs.  Don’t go giving him a hard time, alright?’

‘Would I?’

He grinned at the easy return to light-hearted banter as he let the door click closed behind him, leaving you and Chibs alone, with nothing to do except sit and wait.

 

* * *

 

You’d tried to sleep, curling up in the freshly made bed and letting the darkness silence your mind, but it wasn’t working.  Every noise in the woods around you made you jump, every creak of the old house settling conjuring images of your brother’s men sneaking along the corridor to drag you away.  You knew that Chibs was in the room next door, that there were two prospects keeping watch outside through the night, but it didn’t seem to matter.  With every second that passed, you were falling apart, becoming a nervous wreck, and you couldn’t lay there any longer.

The door to your room creaked when you inched it open, sliding out into the gloom of the corridor, lit only by the strip of light filtering out from Chibs’ room.  So, you weren’t the only one still awake then.

You knocked softly, waiting for him to call for you to enter, before slipping inside with a sheepish smile.  

‘Y’alright, lass?’  He was frowning at you, concerned, though you saw him visibly relax when you nodded.

‘Can’t sleep.’

‘Not surprised.  Must be a lot whirring around in that head o’ yours.’

‘Kinda, yeah.’  Thankfully, his look was one of sympathy rather than the pity that you’d feared and, when he pulled back one corner of the covers and patted the space beside him, you crawled in gratefully, tucking yourself under his arm.  ‘Thank you, Chibby, for staying with me.’

‘Aye, shoulda been that fella o’ yours really.’  He quirked an eyebrow at you when you pulled a face.  ‘I ain’t judgin’.  I know he’s just tryin’ to do right by you.  I get it.  Still, I bet you’d rather it was him here lookin’ out for ya.’

‘He’s angry,’ you observed, trying to justify Opie’s absence in your own head as much as to Chibs.  ‘As much with me as The Collective.  He’s mad that I didn’t say anything ‘til now.’

‘Did he say that?’

‘No.’  You shrugged.  ‘He doesn’t need to.  I could see it in his face when he said goodbye.  He thinks I didn’t trust him enough to let him in.’

Chibs shook his head but didn’t comment any further, altering the course of the conversation.  ‘So, I take it the two of ya are tryin’ to make a go of things now, right?  How long’s that been going on?’

‘A while.  We didn’t really intend to keep it quiet.  I guess, we both just wanted to make sure it was right.’

‘And is it?’

‘I think so.’

‘Good.’  Chibs raised his arm to ruffle your hair and you let out a quiet giggle.  ‘’Bout time ya found someone to take care of ya, love.  Does he make ya happy?’

‘He does.’

‘Well, that’s alright then.  ‘Cos if he hurts ya, he’s gonna have to answer to me.’

He was smiling as he said the words, but you knew he wasn’t joking.  Chibs was fiercely protective over you.  You wondered how he’d react if he knew what had happened between you and Jax, but thought better of telling him.  You had bigger things to worry about now.  ‘You’re always looking out for me.’

‘’Cause I love ya, Y/N.  We all do.  Me ‘n’ Tiggy, we’d do anything for ya, you must know that.’

‘I do.’

‘S’gonna break his heart to find out about you and Opie.’

‘Shut up!’  You nudged your elbow into his ribs, laughing when he groaned.  ‘You’re not mad at me, are you?  For not telling you what what going on.’

‘Nah.’  His hold on you tightened and you felt his breath on your face as he looked down at you, though you didn’t raise your eyes to meet his.  ‘I know why ya did it.  It was wrong, but I understand.  If something had happened to you though, love, if they’d hurt ya because we didn’t know what was going on…  Yeah, then I’d have been mad.  I’d have been really fucking mad.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Doesn’t matter anymore.  We know now and we’re gonna keep you safe.  Nothing else matters.’

‘You know, you guys, the club… you’re the first real family I’ve had since I lost my folks.  You and Tig and Jax and Ope, you took me into your home and you made me feel like I belonged there.  I was at rock bottom when I met Jax and I don’t… I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t decided to take a chance on me.  Being with the Sons, being a part of something, it’s made me happier than I think I’ve ever been.’

‘You’re one of us now, Y/N.  What Jax said was right.  Don’t matter if y’ain’t a crow or an old lady.  We all love ya.’

‘Hey, I might be an old lady one of these days.  Like, a proper old lady.’  You’d been fighting it for so long but you realised now that it was true.  People knew now, about you and Ope, and things were definitely getting serious between you.  You’d spent time with him and his kids.  You were on the road to becoming the one thing you’d never wanted to be and you were strangely okay with it.

‘And you’ll be a damn good one too.’

‘As good as Gemma?’ you teased, though in all honesty it was something you found it pretty intimidating, living up the matriarch’s high standards.  

‘Less scary, maybe.’  He stifled a yawn.  ‘You reckon ya can sleep now, love?’

‘Can I stay here?’

‘Well, I wasn’t going to kick ya out of bed now, was I?’

You nodded, realising how tired you felt now that you’d relaxed a little, drawing comfort from Chib’s presence and his attempts to drag your focus onto the positive things in your life.  You knew that tomorrow would seem just as daunting when you opened your eyes, but for now, at least, your fears were quieted enough to let you slowly drift off.


	18. Chapter 18

The dull rumble of engines in the distance tore you from your stupor.  You were stretched out on the old couch, your feet kicked up to rest on one of the arms and a dog-eared novel laying on your stomach, abandoned, as your eyelids grew heavier.  You still weren’t sleeping particularly well, your insomnia only worsening as the days ticked by and no news came from the outside world.  At this point it had been nearly a week and, though you knew the guys checked in with Chibs, he always left the room to take the calls, leaving you in the dark, driving yourself crazy with all of the worst case scenarios flashing across your mind.  In all fairness to the Scot, he’d been doing his best to keep you entertained and he was good company.  The two of you had been sitting up long into the early hours, chatting and playing cards, but it was getting harder to lose yourself in the distractions.  You needed to know what was happening or you swore to God, you’d sneak away in the night and find out for yourself. 

Now, as the engines grew closer, you swung your legs off the couch and levered yourself upright.  Peering around the edge of the tattered old curtain, you breathed a sigh of relief when you recognised the motorcycles appearing down the dirt track, as the prospects raised their hands in greeting, making no move to go for their guns.  It was two of your own paying you a visit and the need to see their faces, for now unharmed and here, had you rushing to the door.  You reached it at the same time as Chibs and he gave a soft chuckle as he nodded for you to go ahead.

‘Aye, go on, love.  Go get your man.’

Opie was striding towards you when you finally stepped foot outside the house, his arms automatically opening wide to catch you as you hurled yourself against his chest, holding him tightly as he propelled you backwards into the confines of the cabin once again.  'I got you, baby.  It’s okay.’

'God, I’ve missed you.’  You pulled back from him as Jax entered behind him, running your hands over his broad shoulders and gazing up into his eyes, searching for a sign of what had happened since you’d seen him last.  'What’s going on?  Did you find him?  Are you okay?  You’re okay, right?’

You were rewarded with a small smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes, and, when you glanced towards Jax, he was frowning, rubbing his fingers over his temples as though the stress of his news was causing him pain.  Stepping back, you looked between the two men, fear churning in your stomach as you waited for one of them to speak.

'Guys?  What is it?  What’s happened?’

'Take a seat, darlin’.’  Jax gestured towards the couch, waiting for you to drop back down against the sagging cushions with Opie at your side, before he turned his attention to Chibs.  'You got coffee?’

'Aye,’ the older man nodded.  'No milk though.  Ran out a couple o’ days ago.’

'Black’s fine,’ Jax assured him and the Scotsman made for the kitchen as the VP’s gaze fell on you once more.  'How’re you doing up here?’

You narrowed your eyes at him, wishing he’d just get to the point as Opie’s fingers sought your own, squeezing them tight as you sighed in frustration.  'I’d be a whole lot better if you’d just tell me what I’m missing down there.  C’mon, Teller, this is driving me insane.’

'You look tired.’  He took a step towards you, stooping to cup your cheek as he took in the dark circles under your eyes, his touch lingering for just a moment before you pulled away, nestling against Opie when your best friend’s stare became too intense for comfort.

'Haven’t really been sleeping.’  You rolled your eyes.  'Jax, please, just get to the point, okay?  I haven’t seen you guys in a week and now you’re here, so can you please just tell me why?’

'We messed up,’ Opie bit out and you felt the tension in his muscles as he leant forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

'No, we didn’t,’ Jax countered, cutting him down with a stern look.  'Circumstances have just changed a little, that’s all.’

'Yeah, and now she’s even more at risk than she was before.’

As Chibs returned with steaming mugs of dark, aromatic liquid, you gratefully took the one offered to you, sinking back onto your seat and waiting for Jax to continue.  'Go on.’

'We found your brother.  He’s not an easy man to track down but Juice managed to pin his location.’

'And, what, you went after him?  Did he hurt someone?’

'Not yet.’  Jax took a sip of his drink, grimacing when he burnt his tongue and leaving it to cool on the mantel, crossing the room to drop into a low crouch in front of you.  'Me and Ope headed out to do some recon, check out the security on the place.  We were supposed to report back to the club, but he was alone so we thought-’

'You thought,’ Opie growled.

'Fine, I thought it’d be better to get in and get out, put an end to all this shit.’

'So, what happened?’ you prompted, as your anxiety kicked up a notch.  'What went wrong?’

'Turns out the leader of the Collective is never really alone,’ Jax admitted, running a hand through his hair.  'We got away whole but now he knows he’s being watched and he’s gonna know it’s because of you.  He would’ve seen our kuttes and it doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together.’

'Shit.’  Panic was tightening your chest now, constricting your lungs as you fought to keep your breathing steady, trying to process what this meant for you.  Before, Aaron had been quite content to toy with you, scare you half to death and watch from a distance as you fell to pieces, but now…  There was no way the knowledge that the club was out to get him wouldn’t force him to move up his plans.  He’d be looking for you now, his men combing the town and surrounding areas, and, when he found you, he’d come.  There was no doubt in your mind.  'I have to get out of here.  I have to go-’

'You’re not going anywhere,’ Jax instructed, his tone firm.  'We can’t protect you if you run.  I’ve already got a few of the guys from Tacoma on their way here.  They’re gonna set up a perimeter, keep watch through the night.’

You could only nod dumbly.  'Okay.’

'Everything’s gonna be okay, darlin’, I promise.’  Jax’s smile wasn’t as reassuring as it once might have been and, when he got up to leave the room, gesturing to Chibs to follow, you twisted into Opie’s side, grasping the lapels of his kutte in your hands, fighting to keep the tears welling up in your eyes from spilling down your cheeks.

‘I’m gonna stay with you tonight, okay?’  His deep voice was calm and comforting as he wrapped an arm around your waist.  

‘Okay.’  That made you feel a little better, safer, and you swallowed hard as you tried to regain control of your emotions.

‘I’m sorry, I never should have left you in the first place.’

‘It’s fine.  I had Chibby.’

‘Yeah, I know, but it should’ve been me.’  His gaze was sincere and you realised that he’d been struggling with his guilt over leaving you.  Perhaps he hadn’t been as mad at you for your silence as you’d thought.

‘You’re here now.’

‘I am.  I’m not going anywhere.’  His fingers trailed over your cheek, his touch achingly familiar, and you focused on the sensation, letting it centre you, relaxing your fraught nerves and making your skin tingle.  His lips were gentle as they brushed over yours but you needed more, curling your own hand into his hair and holding him in place so you could deepen the kiss and take what you needed from him.  

‘I’m gonna stay too.’  Jax’s voice shattered the moment and you pulled away to see him watching you from across the room, his brow furrowed.  

‘I’m not sure that’s necessary, Teller.’  The words came out more harshly than you’d intended, but he’d ruined a moment of peace in the chaos that was your life right now, and you couldn’t help but feel that it had been intentional.

‘Hey, it’s my fault you’re in this mess now.  If Aaron shows up, you’re gonna need back-up.’

‘I’ve got Ope and the prospects and the Tacoma guys.  We’ll be fine.’

‘Look, I wanna be with you, Y/N, okay?  I need to know you’re safe.’  He’d finally dropped the VP act, pleading with you as he moved further into the room, but Opie stood to meet him, dropping a heavy hand onto his shoulder and stilling his movements.  

‘I got this, brother.’

A look passed between them, one that you didn’t understand, the atmosphere in the room growing thick with unspoken words, but then Jax nodded, covering his friend’s hand with his own.  'Just look after her, okay?’

He and Chibs had taken off not long after, promising that Tig would be by in the morning.  Apparently, given the circumstances, Clay had released his Sergeant at Arms to lend his protection to you, believing that you would need it more than he did.

‘You’re serious?  I didn’t think Tig left Clay’s side when this sorta shit’s going down,’ you’d questioned with a disbelieving smirk.

‘Hey, he’s got a soft spot for you a mile wide,’ Jax had informed you with a smile.  ‘Just ‘cause he don’t show it, don’t mean it’s not there.  Plus, my mom would have his ass if he let anything happen to you.’

And now you were finally alone with your gentle giant, washing the dirty mugs in the kitchen sink as Opie dried them and set them back in the cupboard.  You worked in silence, enjoying the simple comfort that came from being back in each other’s company but, when the task was done, you leant back against the countertop with a sigh.  ‘I’m sorry for putting you through this, all of you.  I hate the risks you’re taking for me.’

‘Hey.’  He let the cupboard door swing closed, setting down the towel in his hands so he could cross the kitchen towards you and wrap you up in his arms.  ‘Stop.  You know I’d do anything for you, don’t you?’

‘I know that.  I just…  I’m scared, Ope.  I don’t want anybody getting hurt because of me.  I’d rather crawl back to Aaron on my knees than lose any of you.’

‘I’m not gonna let that happen.’

His mouth brushed against the top of your head, your hair catching in his beard as he kissed his way down over your cheek before finally capturing your lips.  This kiss was less gentle than the one you’d shared on the couch, hungrier, as though he’d missed you every bit as much as you missed him and, when he hoisted you up onto the work surface, you locked your legs around his waist and clung to him, raking your fingers over the thin fabric of his t-shirt as his mouth left yours and attacked the sensitive skin of your neck.

‘I need you,’ you pleaded with him, the words coming out in a desperate whine as his fingers slipped beneath the hem of your shirt, dancing over your waist, tantalising and teasing, when all you really needed was to lose yourself in him completely, let him drive away all of your fears, all of your anguish.  Heeding your plea, large hands dropped to the backs of your thighs, lifting you into the air so he could carry you through into the bedroom that you’d claimed as your own.  As Opie’s knees hit the edge of the bed, he toppled forward, reaching out an arm to catch his weight before he crushed you beneath him, but, for you, he could never be close enough, the solidity of him on top of you making you feel safer than you had since you’d stepped into your room to find it carpeted with those twisted photographs.  You tugged at his clothes, eager to feel his skin on yours but whimpering when he moved away from you to pull his shirt up and over his head, feeling his absence even though you could still reach out and touch him.  He wasted no more time then, sensing how badly you needed him, holding you close as he sunk into you and felt you fall apart.

Afterwards, you cried, your wrung-out nerves and the onslaught of emotions that you’d felt as you’d looked into Opie’s eyes combining to turn you into a trembling, sobbing mess.  You couldn’t hold it in anymore, couldn’t begin to form words to apologise to him for losing it in such a dramatic way, but it didn’t seem to matter.  He brushed the hair from your face with strong, steady hands and pressed soft kisses to your salty skin, murmuring quietly as he did so.

‘It’s okay.  It’s going to be okay.  I’m going to keep you safe.  I love you.’

And if the feel of his touch on your face reminded you of the intensity of Jax’s gaze as his fingers had cupped your cheek earlier then it was just because of how entirely broken you were in that moment.  That was all.  That had to be all.

‘I love you too.’ 


	19. Chapter 19

When you woke the next morning, you were alone.  The sheets beside you were cool to the touch, suggesting that it had been hours since Opie had left, and the room was bathed in sunlight.  Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you reached for your phone where it lay on the bedside table, flipping it open to see that it was already mid-morning.  You’d obviously caught up on the sleep that you’d been missing out on, your body too drained and exhausted to fight unconsciousness any longer, though you didn’t feel much better for it.  After a quick shower, you tugged on the first clothes that came to hand, a pair of jeans with rips on the knees from a drunken fall from the bed of Opie’s truck not long after Jax had found you, and a faded grey tank top.  You swept your hair back from your face, examining your eyes in the mirror and wishing they didn’t look so puffy from last night’s tears.  Deciding that there was nothing you could do about it, you shrugged and left the room.

A familiar curly-haired outlaw was leaning against the work surface in the kitchen, munching on cereal from the bowl in his hands, though he deposited it on the counter when you entered, so that he could wrap you up in his arms and press a sloppy kiss to your cheek.  ‘There’s my girl.  How’re you doing, sweetheart?’

‘I’m okay,’ you assured him, reaching up to smooth your hand over his wild curls with a grin.  ‘How’s it going, Tiggy?’

‘All good, baby, all good.’  He went back to his breakfast, nodding towards the fridge as you retrieved a mug from the cupboard.  ‘Brought milk.  Chibby said you were out.’

‘Great.  Coffee?’  

‘I’m good.’

You worked in silence for a minute, fixing yourself a drink as Tig finished eating, and taking an eager sip, uncaring when the steaming liquid scalded your mouth.  You needed a caffeine fix and you couldn’t wait for it.  'So, you drew the short straw today, huh?’  You shot the Sergeant at Arms a wry smile but he frowned at you, stepping forward to grasp your shoulders.  

‘What the hell are you talking about?’

'Getting stuck here babysitting me.  Sure you’d much rather be down in town with the club.  That’s where all the action’s going down, right?’

He sighed, ‘C’mere’, guiding you through into the living room and over to the couch, where he slumped down on the cushions, one hand resting on the small of your back as you perched on the edge of the seat beside him, unable to settle.  'Is this about Ope?’

'No.  Maybe.’  You shrugged.  'He didn’t exactly hang around.’

'Baby, you know he’s just trying to protect you, right?  We’re this close to getting our hands on that bastard brother of yours and Opie wants to be the one to take him out.’

You hadn’t realised that, though you supposed it made sense.  Still, the thought of Opie and Aaron coming face to face made your stomach churn.  'I just don’t want him to get hurt.’

'The guys’ll have his back.  They won’t be taking any risks with this one, I promise.’

'Like the risk that Jax took that made things ten times worse you mean,’ you snarked, though you knew the VP’s rash decision had been motivated by his need to keep you safe.  It still didn’t sit right with you, that he’d go against Opie, almost like he was trying to prove a point.  Well, that had backfired.

'Jax is… He gets caught up in the moment.  He’s young.  We’ve all been there,’ Tig sought to reassure you, though it did little to calm your fears.  'Hey, I’ve made some pretty dumb mistakes myself, back when I was serving.  But I had a damn good group of guys watching my back, just like Jax does.’

You knew he was right.  The club weren’t used to dealing with people as high up the ladder as The Collective but they weren’t strangers to subterfuge or brutal murder.  It wasn’t a nice fact to live with but it was a necessary part of the worlds they moved in.  They’d done this before and you were sure they were being careful.  It just wasn’t usually you they were laying their lives on the line for.  'Tell me what’s going on.  Please, Tig.  I can’t stand being kept in the dark like this.  I need to know.’

'Chibby didn’t tell you anything?’

'He left the room to take his calls,’ you grumbled.  'I know you guys are just looking out for me but the not knowing is driving me crazy.’

Tig leant forward, resting his arms on his knees as he rubbed his fingers over his eyes, seemingly deep in thought.  When he finally sank back again, it was with a resigned look on his face and you knew then that you’d won him over, far more easily than you’d imagined.  'Alright, baby, what do you wanna know?’

He told you everything: how he, Jax and Bobby had paid a visit to the actor that had caused all the trouble at Cara Cara with the intention of beating the information they needed out of him, only to find him with his throat slit, every surface wiped clean and the stench of bleach hanging in the air; how Juice had spent hours combing through the darkest corners of the web trying to track Aaron down and had narrowed it down to a couple of towns near to where you’d grown up; how Clay had linked in with contacts in the guns trade to figure out how The Collective were getting their shipments into the country and finally managed to pin their operations down to a warehouse near a small, disused airfield in the middle of nowhere.  Jax and Ope had gone to scope it out and, when they’d seen Aaron inside, seemingly alone and vulnerable, had made a move which had backfired and ended up with them tearing out of there, wheels spinning, as a bunch of thugs in suits tore up the tarmac behind them with bullets.  

You weren’t surprised that Aaron had stuck close to home.  He wasn’t one for travel if he could avoid it, though you knew his work had taken him all over the country, preferring to sleep in his own bed at night, feeling safer in places where he knew the lay of the land.  Somehow, though, it made you feel stupid for thinking that Charming was far enough away to consider yourself safe.  With the guys actively seeking your brother out and managing to track him down in just a few days, it made the whole west coast seem smaller somehow, like he really was only a stone’s throw away and that feeling raised goosebumps over your skin.

‘So, what’s next?’ you asked, your voice wavering as Tig’s story finally drew to a close.  ‘What are they doing now?’

‘Clay’s put out a call for back-up from some of the other charters,’ he told you, tipping his head towards the window where you could hear low voices of those on watch chatting quietly.  ‘Tacoma showed up full force and there are more on the way.’

‘So, that’s the plan?  Just go in heavy-handed and hope that you catch them on a bad day?’

‘Hey, give us a little credit, alright?  This isn’t our first rodeo, sweetheart.’

‘No, but-’

‘Look, you asked me to tell you so I’ve told you.  I get it, you needed to know what was happening, but you’ve gotta trust us to do our jobs.  We’re gonna end this, baby, we will.  You’ve just gotta sit tight.’

With that, he levered himself up from the couch, crossing to the front door and slipping outside.  You were grateful, needing the space, a moment alone to process the information that he’d just shared.  The MC had thrown themselves in to the operation, that much was clear, and you knew that you owed them more than you could ever give.  But you couldn’t help the nagging feeling in your chest that told you that something bad was about to happen.  After everything you’d been through, your instincts were pretty good, you thought, so you didn’t understand why the club weren’t picking up on the sense of doom that hung over their heads.  Were they underestimating The Collective?  You hoped not.  It wouldn’t be like Clay to make a mistake like that.  So, maybe there was a more detailed plan in motion that Tig had held back from you.  Even so, the weight that had settled in your stomach dragged you down, and you twisted in your seat to lay down, resting your head on the arm of the couch and tucking your knees up to your chest.  Opie and Jax’s faces danced across your vision as you squeezed your eyes shut, vying for priority in your mind.  You couldn’t stand to lose either one of them, nor Chibs or your current bodyguard whose laugh you could now hear drifting in through the thin single-glazing.  God, this sucked.

 

* * *

 

At some point, you must have drifted off, your body still needing to recharge even after a decent night’s sleep, drained by the ever-present pulse of anxiety through your veins.  You were running along narrow back-roads, stumbling in the darkness, your feet thudding against the dirt.  You could feel the prickle of sweat on your skin and the aching discomfort of knowing you were being watched, followed, tracked like an animal.  In your dream, you didn’t know who it was that you were fleeing from, that had you feeling so terrified, your stomach churning, nausea rising in your throat as you pushed yourself to move faster, but you knew somehow that if they caught you, they would kill you.  You could hear their breaths now, coming short and fast as they pounded the ground behind you, drawing closer, but you couldn’t run anymore, your limbs turning to lead.  You could feel fingers clawing at your shoulders, dragging you backwards and you couldn’t fight it, couldn’t move.  A low voice growled in your ear as you were tugged against a wide chest, held in a vice-like grip, a piercing scream escaping your throat as you found yourself paralysed.  And then the world lit up in a blinding flash of light as the earth around you exploded with a sickening boom.

Your eyes snapped open to see Tig on his feet, leaning over you to peer out of the window, his brow furrowed in concern.  His handgun was clutched in his fist and he let out a mumbled curse.  It took a moment for you to register that you could smell burning, hear shouts and the roar of engines, the crack of bullets flying.  

‘Tig?  What’s happening?’

His hand was in yours, pulling you upright, guiding you around his back though he didn’t relinquish his hold.  ‘It’ll be okay, baby.  Just stay behind me.’

‘Are they here?’

‘Someone is.  C’mon, we’ll go out the back.’

Keeping an eye on the front door which remained, for now, undisturbed, he moved backwards, shepherding you with him, only turning when you reached the kitchen.  Moving ahead of you once more, he took a second to steady himself, adjusting his grip on his weapon before reaching for the door handle.

Before his hand could grasp the knob, the glass in the door shattered and he let out an agonised shout as he was knocked backwards, his gun clattering to the ground.  

‘Tig!’

The heel of his palm was pressed to his shoulder, but you could see the blood seeping out around it, pooling on the linoleum floor, a sickening crimson.  His eyes were glassy, his breathing laboured, and, as panic washed over you, you thought he might be dying, but then his mouth moved and he croaked just one word.  ‘Run.’

‘But I can’t- I can’t just leave you here.’

‘Go!’

But there was nowhere to go.  If they were watching the back door, then you were surrounded.  Frozen in place, your heart racing, you fisted your hair in your hands, trying to think, trying to figure out what to do, but in the end it didn’t matter.  You were never going to get far.  The door swung inwards with a crash as a heavy boot kicked it open, ripping the lock from the aging wood with ease.  The cabin had been a safe house because of its remote location, not because of its security.

For a brief moment, the intruder’s face remained cast in shadow as he hovered outside, but then he stepped into the kitchen and your breath caught in your throat.  He was older now, his face more heavily lined, and there was a thin, white scar that cut through his left brow.  His hair was shorter than he used to wear it and greying a little around the temples, and his cheeks were covered in a thin layer of salt and pepper stubble.  But the malicious smile he wore, that hadn’t changed at all, and he bared his teeth at you as you backed away, coming up short when your back collided with the kitchen counter.

‘Hey sis, long time, no see.’  His voice was low and gravelly, an affectation you thought he’d probably picked up to make himself seem more intimidating.  You couldn’t deny that it worked.  ‘What?  No hug for your big brother?  I think we’ve got some catching up to do.’


	20. Chapter 20

You couldn’t run.  Aaron was blocking the doorway, filling it easily with his broad shoulders, a gun hanging from his fingers, and you knew he’d have come with a whole army of men as back-up.  You wouldn’t make it if you tried.  So, instead, you dropped to your knees, reaching out to press your hands over the wound just below Tig’s collarbone, the blood spilling over your fingers.  He’d passed out, his eyes closed, his jaw slack and nausea rose up in your throat as fear overwhelmed you.

‘Help him!  God, please help him!’

‘And why the hell would I do that?’  Your brother’s drawl was casual, his smile lazy as he lay the gun down on the kitchen counter and moved towards you, hauling you up by your elbow.  ‘I came to see my sister.  Not to get the blood of some lowlife outlaw scum on my shirt.’

‘Shut up!’  You tried to fight him off, to push him away, but his grip was biting as he steered you back into the living room, shoving you roughly down on the couch where you’d been sleeping just moments ago.  ‘He was just looking out for me!  Please, don’t let him die!’

But Aaron was ignoring your requests, settling himself down beside you and crossing one leg over the other, cocking his head to one side as he waited for you to calm.  Your heart was racing, your hands trembling as you tried to summon up a way out of this mess, but there was nothing.  The explosion outside would, you were sure, have taken out those on watch, and the other Sons could be miles away for all you knew.  You were with their Sergeant-At-Arms.  Safe.  Secure.  Hidden away from the threat.  Except the threat was shooting you a wicked grin, his dimples a harsh contrast to the icy cold of his eyes.  He knew he had you.  It was over.  ‘Settle down.  I’m not gonna hurt you.  Not yet at least. Bruises lower your value, surely you remember that?’

‘Well, you might as well beat me to death then,’ you snarled.  ‘Because I am not letting you sell me again.  I’m not playing your game, okay?  I’m done.’

‘You’re not done ‘til I say you’re done.’  He studied the cufflinks at his wrists, twisting them until they sat straight, a study in indifference though he was in complete control.  ‘Now, I know you’ve been slutting it up round town with these biker types, but you’re still worth a pretty penny, sis.  Young.  Pretty.  Not everyone’s looking for a virgin.  Some guys like a woman with a little more… experience.  Hell, maybe we can market you as the bad girl in need of a little punishment, right?  Get you a nice, rich John to set you back on the right path-’

‘No!’

‘You betrayed me!’ His sudden roar revealed the inner turmoil beneath his cool exterior. ‘You cost The Collective a small fortune, you undermined my position and then you just disappeared!’

Your mouth fell open in shock.  You were torn in two, half of you wanting to cower from his rage, whilst the other half wanted to lash out, to shout him down and make him pay for what he’d done to you.  Your hands were still coated with Tig’s blood, the thick red slick drying on your skin and you longed to go and wash them, hating the feel of it and the knowledge that he was lying in the other room alone.  It was that that made you square your shoulders, your eyes flashing with rage as you swallowed hard.  Tiggy wouldn’t want you to cower to anybody.  He’d want you to be strong, to fight back, and so would Opie and Jax and Chibs and every other guy in the MC who had your back.  ‘Are you kidding me?’

Aaron’s eyes narrowed dangerously.  ‘Do you have any idea what you put me through?’

‘What I put you through?’  In a flash you were up off the couch, pacing in front of him. ‘You sold me for sex!  Do you even realise what that means?  What that makes you?  We were family, you basically raised me, and then all of a sudden you just decide that I’m worth more as one of your whores!  What sort of person does that?  You’re sick and you’re twisted and you dragged me down into your fucking hideous underworld and I hate you for it, Aaron!  I hate you for what you did to me!’

‘Y/N-‘

‘And then when I finally get away and make a new life for myself, when I find a family that actually wants me for more than what’s between my damn legs, you can’t just leave me be.  You have to stalk me, make my life hell and then, just when you’ve driven me to breaking point, you come in here and you kill my friends!’

He’d pushed himself upright as you ranted and now his hand snaked out to catch you by the arm, stilling your agitated movements, though you yanked yourself from his grasp. ‘You think these people are your family?  I’m the only family you’ve got.’

‘No, you’re not.’

‘Yes, I am,’ he sneered, leaning forward so his breath ghosted over your face.  ‘I’m blood, Y/N, that counts for more than anything those scumbags have given you.  You can’t run from me.  I will always find you.  We’re connected.’

‘But why, Aaron?  Why can’t you just let me live my life?’

‘Because I gave you my life!’  Once again he reached for you, grasping you by the shoulders to force you to meet his gaze.  ‘Mum and Dad died and I had to give up everything to watch you, don’t you get that?  I could’ve been running the show within a year if I’d had the time, the chance to step up.  But no, because Y/N needed help with her homework and food on the table and somebody to wash her clothes.  I had to take every measly little task they threw my way just to keep the money coming in when I could’ve climbed straight to the top!’

‘I never asked you for anything.’

‘But there was nobody else!  You owed me!’

‘I was a kid, Aaron!   I didn’t owe you anything!’

Your brother let out a disgusted hiss, his hands dropping to his sides.  ‘I’m not arguing about this.  Even if you didn’t owe me back then, you sure as hell do now.’

Shaking your head, realising that all of your pleas were falling on deaf ears, you let the feeling of defeat wash over you, though you kept an edge of challenge to your tone when you finally spoke again.  ‘So, what happens next?’

‘You come with me.  I remind you of what behaviours The Collective consider acceptable in their girls.  We clean you up, make you all shiny and new, wash the biker stench off you. Then you go out to auction, baby, and you start to pay off some of your debts.’

‘I’ll run again.  You know I will.  You can’t watch me 24/7 and, as soon as you turn your back, I’ll run.’

‘And go where?’ Aaron quirked an eyebrow at you as if almost amused by the threat.  ‘You come back here I’ll find you in hours and I will take out every single person that tried to help you.  You think you can live with that?’

‘I’ll go somewhere else, leave the country.  Your power can only stretch so far-‘

‘You’d think.’  He cut you off with a smug smirk, brushing a speck of dust from the lapel of his jacket.  ‘Hey, I like a challenge.  You manage to escape again and you run as fast and as far as you can.  See how long it takes me to hunt you down, I dare you.  But you know I’ll make you pay.  You think that DA was bad, girl, I could’ve sold you to somebody so so much worse.  We cater to the most depraved individuals in the country and I can make sure you go to the very worst if you push me, Y/N.’

It wasn’t an empty threat.  You’d seen the state that some of the girls would come back in. Sure you were bruised and half-starved, but some of them sported broken bones and scars that would put them out of the game for life.  If they raked in enough money in their initial sale, The Collective were happy to dispose of them if they were returned unfit for reuse. 

‘What is wrong with you?’  Your voice with thick with emotion, the fight going out of you at the hard look in your brother’s eyes.  ‘God, don’t you remember what we used to be like?  Back when Mum & Dad were alive and things were normal.  Pancake Saturdays and rollerblading round the back yard and softball games in the park.  We were happy, Aaron. How did we get here?  How did we become… this?’

‘A nostalgia trip, really?  You must be desperate.’  He rolled his eyes and shoved you back towards the kitchen, keeping you in front of him as he retrieved his sidearm.  Tig’s face had drained of colour and, if it hadn’t been for the slight rise and fall of his chest, you might’ve thought he was dead.  Every cell in your body was straining to go to him, to help him, but you were being propelled through the door and out of the house, Aaron’s hand unyielding in the centre of your back.

As you rounded the cabin, heading towards the front, the scent of explosive and the coppery tang of blood assaulted your nose and, when you saw what was left of the prospects that had been standing guard, you had to choke back the bile that rose up in your throat.  Dead.  All of them.  Not a one still standing.  The Collective didn’t do anything by halves.  A nod from your brother had the burly, suited men that clustered around the building heading for the two black vans that were parked up beneath the trees, though you were being guided towards an SUV with darkened windows.  Your survival instincts kicked in once more and you made to dart away into the forest, hoping that the gloom would give you cover, but Aaron’s fingers closed around your wrist, as though he could read your mind.  The car door swung open and you were forced inside, your forehead glancing off the roof as you were manhandled into a seat.

It was over.  It was all over.  Everything you’d tried to build in Charming, a real life with a real family and real friends that loved you.  Opie’s face flashed across your vision and tears sprang to your eyes as you pictured him walking in to this bloodbath to find you gone. You only hoped that they’d arrive in time to save Tig.  It was too late to save you.


	21. Chapter 21

You’d been surprised when you hadn’t been tied up.  You were free to move around, to sit, to stand, to pound on the walls.  You weren’t gagged either which told you that you must be miles from anywhere if Aaron wasn’t worried about people hearing you scream.  You didn’t recognise the room you’d been locked in, hadn’t laid eyes on any of the guards that you’d passed on your way in before, and a quick inspection of your prison revealed a heavy metal door and bars on the windows.  There was no hope of escape, not this time.  Your brother had learnt his lesson before and now he was making sure that you had no way out.

He’d been silent on the ride over, staring sullenly out of the window as though he was the one that had been wronged.  It had turned your stomach.  The one hope you had was that nostalgia might allow you to reach the boy he used to be through this hard outer shell that he’d developed, but you needed the chance to reach out to him when he was alone, not in the middle of the chaos that had reined back at the cabin.  As he’d refused to look at you, you wondered whether the brother you’d loved and trusted even existed anymore, or whether Aaron had eradicated him completely on his quest for power, and that thought scared you even more than the thought of what he might do to you.  What would your parents say if they could see you now?  God, they’d be enraged.

Left alone, and having fully explored the four walls around you, checking again and again for a way out that you knew wasn’t there, your mind drifted to what might be happening in Charming.  Thinking of Tig made your heartbeat falter.  Try as you might, you just couldn’t conjure up his playful smile or the sparkle in his eyes.  All you could see was his blood, pooling on the floor around him, crimson red vivid against the black of his kutte.  Was he alive?  Had the others got to him in time?  You hoped so but you were sure you must be lying to yourself.  He hadn’t looked good when you’d been propelled out of the door and away, and you had no idea when any of the others might swing by to check in.

And the explosion… God, that had been quite the entrance.  How many guys had been out there on watch, you wondered?  A couple of prospects, for sure.  Maybe three or four of the Tacoma guys, too.  Were they all dead?  And because of you…  You couldn’t bear it and you forced the image away as nausea knotted your stomach.  You should have run.  You should never had let yourself be talked into staying.  It had been a mistake.

But then… Opie.  Could you really have just upped and left your gentle giant behind?  Things had been so good between the two of you and for the first time in a long time you’d felt completely settled and happy.  Waking up to him had become your favourite thing, and you knew his broad shoulders were marked with the scratches of your nails, his skin bruised by harsh kisses just as yours was.  It had been so unexpected and yet it just seemed so incredibly easy with him, and you were sure giving that up without a fight would have been something you lived to regret.

This thought pattern inevitably led on to the other man vying for your affections, though you tried to close your heart to him and focus on the one you actually called yours.  It never worked.  Jax Teller.  You weren’t sure when the exact moment was that you’d fallen for him.  Hell, if you were honest with yourself, it was probably the moment he’d rolled his bike to a stop beside you as you meandered along a long stretch of road in the middle of nowhere, sipping from a bottle of water and trying to ignore the hunger that was churning in your stomach.  He was all long limbs and cocky swagger as he’d climbed from the machine and removed his helmet, long blonde hair falling over his face, and you’d melted when he’d shot that heartbreaking smile in your direction.  But things had been complicated, not only by the mess you were in but by the fact that he was with someone, his highschool sweetheart no less, and there had just never been a good time.  A right time.  And it was that that had driven you into Opie’s arms, you reminded yourself, whenever your mind began to wander to that kiss as you looked out over Charming.  It hadn’t meant anything.  It couldn’t have.  And you wouldn’t ruin the best thing you had to be Jax’s distraction.

As much as your conflicted feelings caused you pain, they also brought you comfort, letting you drift back into the centre of the MC and the life you’d built with them when, in reality, you were now confined to a small room, containing just a narrow bed and a claustrophobic ensuite with only a toilet and a basin with no plug.  The walls were bright white, as was the bedding, and you had no other way to entertain yourself and pass the time.  Occasionally you heard footsteps pass by on the other side of the door but nobody came to you.  The view from the window was of open grassland, nothing to give any indication of where you might be.  The one thing you were certain of was that you wouldn’t be easy to find.  Aaron was smarter than that.

Maybe a week into your confinement, maybe longer, you jumped as the lock clicked on the door to your room, flinging yourself from the bed to the far corner as it swung open.  Your brother stepped inside, as neatly dressed as ever, a pile of folded clothes clutched in his arms as he shut the door behind him and turned judgemental eyes on you, quirking his brow at your defensive stance.

‘Really?  I thought I’d made it pretty clear that I’m not gonna hurt you.’

You shuddered at the casual conversational tone to his voice, riled up by how comfortable he seemed with kidnapping and imprisonment.  'Yeah, well, excuse me for not trusting the guy who shot my friend, abducted me, then left me locked up alone for days on end.’

‘Well, I guess when put it like that…’  He smirked at you, offering up the clothing he held and cocking his head to one side when you made no move to take it.  'I brought you something to wear.  Figured you’d wanna get out of those scraggy things.  Sorry, I should’ve thought of it sooner but…’  He tailed off, wrinkling his nose.  'As it seems you’ve made no attempt to even wash yourself since we brought you in, I guess you’re not too worried about personal hygiene.’

You felt your cheeks flush in embarrassment at his observation.  ‘Not much I can do when I can’t even run a bowl of water.’  At his confused look, you elaborated.  'There’s no plug in the basin.  Makes it kinda difficult to give myself a rubdown.’

'Ahh, of course.’  He accepted your explanation with a nod.  'I’d forgotten that I’d asked them to remove it.  Didn’t want you thinking you could take the easy way out.  You belong to me now.’

The way he was looking at you, expecting you to submit to him and let him treat you like a animal, made anger simmer deep inside of you, and you knew you were channelling Gemma when you spat out, ‘You know, maybe Mom should’ve bought you a doll or something when you were a kid.  You could’ve played with mine!  Might’ve helped relieve some of these control issues.’

But he refused to be goaded into a fight.  'There are no issues.  I am in control.  I control this organisation and, through that, half the damn state and further if I feel so inclined.  And I definitely control you, little sister.  Now, I don’t usually get too involved with the girls.  I pay people to do this part.  But, out of respect for our familial bond, I decided it would be better if I came down here and played nice, made you feel more at home.  I fear I might be wasting my time.’

'You are.’  Familial bond?  Had he really just thrown that out there after everything?  Your hands were balled into fists at your sides and more than anything you wanted to launch yourself at him, kick and scream and scratch and unleash your fury in something violent and feral, but you could see the pooch of his jacket where his gun was holstered beneath, and you were sure there were a least a couple of guys poised outside the door, just in case.

'Very well.’  He turned his back on you, wrenching the door open again and beckoning someone inside.  A large man with bleached blonde hair and a scar through his eyebrow stepped inside, giving you a disinterested once over before standing at attention.  'Y/N, this is William.  He’ll be escorting you to your appointments this afternoon to ensure that your attitude is kept in check so please, don’t give him any trouble.’

'Appointments?’  You wrinkled your nose as you realised what that might entail.

‘It’s time to get you ready,’ Aaron confirmed.  'Hair, nails, full body wax…  They’re going to make you into a Goddess.  An extremely valuable one, too.’

You remembered this process, how violated you’d felt as you were worked on by strangers with no choice in what they did to you or how they made you look.  And you knew what it meant.  'When’s the auction?’

'Tomorrow.’  Aaron stepped forward, sliding a finger under your chin so he could force your face up to meet his gaze.  'And you, beautiful sister of mine, are the star event!’

 

* * *

 

Several hours later, you found yourself standing in front of a full-length mirror whilst a couple of waif-like girls tugged at the dress you were wearing, pulling and pinning and adjusting where it sat over your shoulders, to ensure that as much skin as possible was on display.  

You barely recognised yourself.  Your hair had been layered, with tasteful highlights streaked through in a way that you would never have chosen yourself, though it had been backcombed to look wild and out of control.  Your make-up had been done to make you look younger, with the contrast of heavy black kohl ringing your eyes giving the effect of a good girl gone bad, trying too hard to be a grown up when she was really crying out for a little authority.  You’d been forced into a tiny, black dress, with slits around the sides and a plunging V-neck, the skirt sitting dangerously low on your thighs, and your flat lace-up boots had been traded for chunky knee-high ones, with a heel that you could barely walk in.   True to his word, Aaron was going for the bad girl in need of punishing angle, and it terrified you.  

A loud clap from behind you had you spinning, almost toppling over until William’s hands steadied you, and you glared at your brother who was studying you appraisingly.

'Nice work, ladies.’  He whipped his finger in the air motioning for you to turn, which you did, seeing no other option.  'It’s just the look I wanted.  Filthy whore with the big Bambi eyes, just crying out for somebody to show her the error of her ways.  I love it!  The johns are gonna eat this up!’

'Fuck you,’ you bit out, but that only increased his look of glee.  

'Oh, and the attitude… You’re a little goldmine, sis!  You know how much people will pay to teach that dirty mouth a lesson?  We’re talking hundreds of thousands.’

Any hope you may have had hidden deep inside of you that the Sons may find some way into the sale and buy you back themselves flickered and died.  There was no way they could get their hands on that kinda money, not at this short notice.  No, this was it.  It was happening.  Tomorrow, you were going to auction and tomorrow night, you would be at the mercy of the highest bidder.  Again.


	22. Chapter 22

You were queuing up in the corridor, waiting for your turn in front of the crowd, when you heard it: the roar of motorcycle engines.  You strained your ears, trying to hear more, to figure out if they were stopping or passing by, but the noise was swallowed up by the thick walls of the building and the hysterical sobs of the girl behind you.  She needed to stop that, you thought, or she’d be pulled out and sold another day, once the bruises they inflicted as punishment had faded.

You were blindfolded for the privacy of the buyers, your hands clasped behind your back with thin metal cuffs to discourage any urge to fight.  It wouldn’t do to have any disturbances.  It wasn’t what the Johns came for.  The auction would be conducted in silence, you knew, as the Collective had realised early on that the event seemed more dignified that way.  All these measures were taken to make the sale seem classy and sophisticated when in reality it was nothing more than a cattle market.  Sure, there was cool marble beneath your feet instead of sawdust, and the scent in the air was of money - expensive cologne and the whiff of top-shelf champagne - but you had as much control over your life as those animals did.

When your turn came, a firm hand grasped your bound wrists and pushed you forwards, uncaring of how you stumbled in your heels.  Steadying yourself, you focused on putting one foot in front of the other, keeping moving.  And then the glare of bright light crept in through the top of the strip of fabric that was wrapped around your head, and you knew you were positioned on the raised platform, the next item for sale, all eyes on you.  You fidgeted uncomfortably, but the guard at your side soon put an end to that with a quick tug on your cuffs that held your body rigid and thrust out your chest.  

A cold voice spoke from across the room, nasal and monotone, reciting your basic details: age, height, weight, bra size.  A few throats were cleared and you could hear the rustle of paper as the Johns sought more info from their tightly-bound brochures, and then the cold voice began calling out numbers.  It was frustrating, not being able to hear who was bidding, who was driving the price up higher and higher.  In the back of your mind, the sound of bikes had you picturing Jax or Opie tucked away in a corner, raising their paddles, intent on winning you back but, as the value continued to rise, you knew that they’d have been priced out long ago.

And yet, there was something in the room, someone watching you, their gaze burning into you and marking them out from the rest of the monsters.  It didn’t feel threatening, it felt warm and comforting, and you wondered if it could be one of them, one of your guys, watching over the proceedings and waiting for an opportunity to whisk you away.  Of course, you could just be losing your mind, looking for a way to calm the fear that churned in your stomach, but you centred yourself on the sensation, trying to block out the continued calls of the auctioneer.

A shiver ran through your body as the gavel came down.  Sold.  A few groans of disappointment broke the silence and then you were being pulled away, your heels clicking against the floor as you were guided along a maze of corridors, the blindfold finally being slipped from your face as a chill blast of air hit you.  You were standing at the open side door that led out into the street behind the auction house.  You remembered this part.  A sleek black car was idling before you, and the hand at the small of your back encouraged you towards it, though your guard made no move to release your wrists from their restraints.  The rear door of the vehicle swung open and you were gently helped inside, every move soft and protective now that you’d fetched a hefty sum of money.  The Collective couldn’t be seen to be flogging damaged goods.

The man who had led you through the building, leant over you, fastening your seatbelt even as you fidgeted uncomfortably against the leather seat, unable to sit back properly with your arms pulled behind you, and then he gave you a nod, stepping back and pushing the door closed, sealing you inside with the driver.  The last time, you’d been joined in the back by the DA, the man who’d paid a high price to own you, and you expected to wait for your new owner to make his way to the vehicle, but instead the car was pulling away, rolling along the length of the alley before turning out onto a busier street and merging into the traffic.

To start with, you tried to keep track of where you were going, noting every turn as you snaked through the city, then trying to remember landmarks that you passed as you drove out into the countryside, weaving along narrow roads through open fields and densely packed woodland, and every so often catching a glimpse of a river that snaked across the landscape.  But a couple of hours into the journey you realised that there was really no point.  You had no clue where you were or where you were going and, if by chance you did manage to get away, you wouldn’t stand a chance of making it back to the city on foot.  It was a scary realisation and once again you felt a flutter of hope in your heart that the MC would find a way to get you out of this mess.  There was no way in hell you were getting yourself out of it.

 

* * *

 

Your bedroom was lavish.  There was no other way to describe it.  Long drapes covered the windows, which were obviously kept locked shut, though you were so high up in the grand house that there was no way you could have escaped from them without breaking something.  The bed was a four-poster, with swathes of heavy grey fabric forming a canopy over the satin sheets below.  A plush velvet couch sat in front of a widescreen TV and there was a large bookcase filled with classics, leather-bound and probably worth a small fortune.  You had your own bathroom too with a double-ended clawfoot bathtub and a shower that was almost bigger than your dorm back at the clubhouse.  In any other circumstances, you might have thought you were in heaven, living in a lap of luxury, but there were little signs here and there that you were going to be made to suffer for the indulgence: the click of the door as it was locked behind you, trapping you inside; the shackles that were bolted to the wall at one end of the shower, steely grey hanging down against the pure white tiles; and the cabinet.  

The cabinet in particular gave you chills.  Almost as big as the bookcase, it had glass doors, though one touch had told you they were reinforced, probably unbreakable.  A hefty padlock sealed the doors closed, but you could still see the contents carefully arranged inside.  Row upon row of toys, you supposed he considered them - paddles and knives and other implements that you didn’t even want to think about.  This was a man that liked to play rough, you thought, and he’d been spun a twisted story about a young girl that needed help to be set back onto the right path after a period of debauchery.  He was sure to want to teach you a lesson.

 

* * *

 

You waited nervously for the rest of the day for your new owner to show his face, curled against your pillows with your knees tucked into your chest, still dressed in the outfit that had been picked out for you to wear to the sale, though you’d discarded the boots hours ago.  As the sun began to sink lower in the sky, casting the room in shadow, you finally heard the scrape of the bolt on your door being pulled back before it swung slowly open, and you rolled across the bed, landing on your feet on the soft carpet against the far wall, barely daring to breath as you waited to see who would enter.  But instead of the man who was no doubt hoping to use and abuse you, you were instead confronted with another member of his staff, dressed in a crisp white shirt and pressed slacks just as the other workers you’d passed on your way in had been, and holding out a tray of food to you as you eyed him warily.

‘Dinner for you, ma’am.’

‘Not hungry,’ you lied, even as your stomach growled at the scent of the meal wafting across the room.  

‘I’ll just leave it here for you then.’  He shot you a polite smile and moved to set the tray down on the low coffee table in front of the couch.  ‘Perhaps you’ll want to eat before you settle down for the night.’  As he turned to leave, you knew that you had to ask, and you stepped forward tentatively, catching his attention so that he looked back at you.  ‘Is there anything else I can do for you?’

‘M-my owner,’ you began, pausing to swallow as the man’s brow furrowed.  ‘The man who lives here.  I was expecting to have seen him by now.  Do you know-’

‘Called away on business, I’m afraid.’  His tone was clipped as he filled you in, either afraid of telling you too much or genuinely not knowing much to tell.  ‘Urgent.  Left immediately from the city.  He should be back in a few days.’

‘Right.’  You took a second to process that, nodding slowly.  ‘Okay.  Thank you.’

‘I suggest you eat, ma’am,’ the worker offered before he left.  ‘Keep your strength up.  I fear you might need it.’

Laying in bed later that night, burrowed under the covers, your mind swam with the possibilities that this new information unleashed.  He wasn’t here.  The man who’d bought you had paid up then immediately been called away.  And there had been motorcycles, you’d heard them, and that sense that someone was watching you, a friend…  Could it be them, the Sons, making their move?  Or was that wishful thinking?  You weren’t sure.  The only thing you knew as sleep crept over you was that, for now, you had a few days respite.  That, at least, was something.


	23. Chapter 23

You woke early.  The room was pitch black, the heavy drapes at the windows keeping even the slightest sliver of light from creeping in, and you felt lethargic and wrung out, exhausted from days of stress and panic.  In the back of your mind, your fear still lingered, but you didn’t have the energy to indulge in it anymore.  You were alive and for the time being your new owner was far away.  You needed to use this opportunity to rest and regroup so that when the time came to fight, you had the strength to do so. 

Memories of the last time that you’d found yourself in this situation instinctively led on to memories of the last time you’d escaped Aaron’s clutches and before you knew it you were back wandering along that road that seemed to stretch on forever, thirsty and with a relentless hunger that twisted your stomach, straining your ears as the sound of a motorcycle drifted towards you on the breeze.

 

* * *

 

_You were weaving, you knew that much, criss-crossing over the road and probably doubling the distance that you’d walked, but you were just so damn tired.  Your limbs felt heavy and the nagging pain in your stomach as it begged for food was draining the last bit of energy you had.  As the rumble of the motorcycle engine drew nearer, you dragged your weary body to the side of the road, ensuring that its path was clear, so dazed and distracted that you didn’t notice that it was slowing until it pulled up beside you._

_You barely spared it a glance as you forced yourself to keep moving, even as the toe of a clean-white trainer kicked the stand down and a long leg swung over the body of the bike as the rider dismounted.  It wasn’t until he spoke that you finally drew to a halt, though you didn’t return his smile, expecting only the worst from strangers these days._

_‘Hey there, darlin’.  You need a ride?’_

_You’d narrowed your eyes suspiciously, giving a slight shake of your head, fully intending to turn around and start walking again, but then your gaze met a pair of bright blue eyes and you faltered.  ‘I’m fine.’_

_‘Well, I’m not gonna argue with that.’  A cocky smirk quirked his lips and you rolled your eyes, chiding yourself for getting caught in the moment.  Of course, he was just another asshole.  With a soft huff of frustration, you spun on your heel, focusing on the horizon as you forced your feet to move, but he moved faster, stepping in front of you and reaching out to lay a steadying hand on your shoulder.  As his eyes raked over you, taking in your matted hair, sunken cheeks and the layer of dirt that clung to your skin, his flirtatiousness faded away and his brow furrowed in concern.  ‘Seriously, sweetheart, you look like you’ve been through hell.  Is everything okay?’_

_It was one of those decisions that would shape the course of your life forever, not that you knew it back then.  But in the end it hadn’t really been up to you.  The stranger’s hands were moving over your body in a way that felt like a violation at first, before you realised that he was patting you down, checking for weapons, and then, finding none, he was guiding you towards his bike, strapping his helmet on to your head and climbing back on, gesturing for you to slide on behind him._

_You hesitated.  Of course you did, you weren’t stupid.  But there was a kindness in his face that you hadn’t encountered in far too long, and it spurred you on.  The leather of his kutte was smooth against your skin as you wrapped your arms around him, and his stomach was firm beneath your fingers.  You didn’t know where he was going and, when he kicked the stand up and gunned the engine, you didn’t much care.  The rush of cool breeze was blissful, the speed exhilarating and, when he pulled in to the forecourt of a small roadside diner twenty minutes later, you thought you might actually cry._

_‘You look hungry,’ he offered by way of an explanation when you looked at him questioningly, blinking back tears.  ‘And this place does the best cheeseburgers in the state.’_

_‘I-I don’t have any money,’ you admitted, scuffing the heel of your boot against the ground as you avoided his eyes, but he was laughing, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he made for the door._

_‘This is on me, darlin’.’_

_True to his word, he’d ordered you the greasiest and most delicious cheeseburger you thought you’d ever eaten, along with a plate of fries as big as your head and a milkshake that you thought might just have been sent from heaven.  You gorged yourself, savouring every mouthful as the hunger in your stomach was finally sated, and when you sat back with a soft sigh of contentment, he was watching you with interest, reaching over to wipe a stray smear of sauce from the corner of your mouth._

_‘So, you gonna tell me how you ended up all alone out here?’_

_You swallowed hard, wishing that you could, but still not entirely convinced that you could trust this man._

_‘Look,’ he continued.  ‘You look like you’re in some sorta trouble.  The guys I run with, we can protect you, but I need to know what we’re dealing with.  Hell, I don’t know a damn thing about you, darlin’.  For all I know, you could be the trouble.’_

_When you still didn’t speak, he rubbed a hand over the scruff on his chin, chewing on his bottom lip for a moment before prompting, ‘How about we start with your name?  I’m Jax.  Jax Teller.’_

_‘Y/N,’ you offered, wanting to give him something after he’d fed you so well.  ‘The guys you run with, that them?’_

_You gestured towards the patch on his kutte and he nodded.  ‘SAMCRO.  Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club, Redwood Original.’_

_‘Now that sounds like trouble,’ you teased, half-heartedly, pleased when he laughed._

_‘We handle our business.’  His face grew serious again as he sat forward, leaning his hands on the table, his fingers linked together.  ‘So, Y/N, you gonna talk or what?’_

 

* * *

 

It had been the best thing you’d ever done.  Meeting Jax had turned your life around and the kindness that he’d shown you that day had only been a taster of everything he’d go on to do for you.  But the thought of your first meeting led you down a path to another first meeting, and you couldn’t keep the smile from your face as you rolled onto your side, tucking your knees up to your chest as you slipped back into the past once again.

 

* * *

 

_The man in the doorway was a giant.  Towering over you, with broad shoulders and a barrel chest that tapered down to narrow hips, a dark beanie pulled low over his brow, he was an intimidating figure, and you stepped closer to the biker at your side in an attempt to hide yourself._

_‘Y/N, this is Opie,’ Jax spoke up, resting a hand on the small of your back to encourage you to take a step forward.  ‘He’s gonna watch you for a while.  That okay, bro?’_

_Opie’s eyes narrowed as they scanned over you, taking in your dishevelled state.  You’d told Jax the full story, everything he wanted to know and then some.  It had been a risk and he hadn’t been able to keep the pity from his face, but you’d needed to let it out and he’d been willing to let you ramble on as you spilled your shameful secrets.  As soon as you were done, he’d nodded gravely, ordered you back onto his bike and taken off back towards the place he called home._

_‘Wait a minute, Jax,’ the giant was protesting.  ‘I can’t just drop everything and-’_

_‘You got the kids?’ Jax interrupted._

_‘No, they’re with Mary.’_

_‘Then I’m willing to bet that you’re just sitting on your ass in there drinking beer.’_

_Opie’s expression darkened and you could see the cogs turning in his head as he fought to come up with another excuse.  ‘Look, you know I’m trying to put some distance between me and the club right now.  Since Donna, I can’t…  I just-’_

_‘This isn’t club business,’ Jax assured him.  ‘Not yet, at least.  I need to talk to Clay, figure some stuff out.  But in the meantime, Y/N needs someone to look out for her.  Please, man, I’m asking as a friend here, not as your VP.’_

_Finally Opie, sighed, stepping aside to let you enter, which you did, shooting a nervous look back at Jax.  ‘I’ll be back soon, sweetheart, okay?  You’re safe here.’_

_When the door clicked shut, you stood awkwardly, shifting your weight from foot to foot as Opie tried to decide what to do with you, finally offering, ‘You wanna take a bath?’_

_It had been glorious, soaping yourself up and sluicing away the layers of grime that had coated your skin, washing your hair through and untangling the knots, feeling human again for the first time in a long time.  Afterwards, wrapped in a big fluffy towel while your clothes tumbled around in the dryer, he set you up at one end of the couch, as he sprawled at the other, and finally asked you what was on his mind.  ‘What’re you doing with Jax?’_

_‘He rescued me, I guess.’_

_‘Rescued you?  From what?’_

_It was the second time in just a few hours that you’d had to share your whole depressing story.  This time though, it wasn’t pity that had flashed across the listener’s face as tears trickled down your cheeks.  It was respect, and just the knowledge that someone as big and strong as this giant could look at you that way had given you back a slither of confidence, allowing you to sit up straighter and scrub your hand over your face to wipe away the traces of your misery.  ‘So, I guess now Jax is off trying to convince his group to take me in or something.’_

_‘Did he say he was gonna go after Aaron?’_

_‘I-I don’t really know.’_

_‘Is that what you want?’_

_‘Honestly?’  You sniffed and pulled the towel tighter around you, letting it engulf your frame.  ‘I just want a fresh start.  I want a life that has nothing at all to do with my brother.  I just want to find a home.’_

_Opie’s hand was twice the size of yours when it covered your fingers where they were picking at a loose thread on the couch cushion, but it was warm and you raised your gaze to meet his, smiling softly at the kindness you saw there.  ‘You already have.’_

_‘Why are you people helping me?’  You had to ask.  Human kindness wasn’t something you’d encountered often in your life and you couldn’t help but feel that there must be a catch, something required in return._

_‘We’ve all had our share of shit to go through,’ Opie explained._

_‘You have?’_

_You saw him swallow hard before he spoke again.  ‘I lost my wife, about a month back.  She was murdered.’_

_‘Oh my God, I’m-’_

_‘I know, you’re sorry.  Everybody is.  Doesn’t make it any easier though.  I got two kids that are gonna grow up without their mother and I…  I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.  I can’t look at them without seeing her face, I can’t lose myself in the club because I know how much she hated it.  So, I guess I could use the distraction, someone else who’s tired of hearing how sorry people are.’_

_You got it.  You knew exactly where he was coming from.  You remembered feeling that exact same way when your parents had died, and you’d felt that same familiar twinge of anger when Jax’s pity for you had been so evident on his face.  A rush of affection for this giant with the sad eyes and the gentle hands filled you and you nodded slowly._

_‘I guess maybe we can help each other.’_

 

* * *

 

  

That affection had taken on many forms during the time you’d known Opie but it had never wavered.  You’d spent a lot of time together those first few weeks as Jax had gone about getting you set up with a job and a place to stay.  Your presence at Teller Morrow had gradually brought Opie back into the club’s ranks and your connection had slipped a little as he became busy with runs and who knew what else.  But it hadn’t gone away.  And that night on the couch of the clubhouse, when he’d first kissed you, sloppy drunken kisses in the darkness, it had begun to slowly morph into something that brought you comfort as you lay in wait of whatever was going to come next.  

The hours drifted by in a haze of memories and you let them take you away, freeing you from your prison as you remembered how the club had taken you in, made you a part of their family: Juice’s shy smile when he came to you for advice about a girl, Clay’s begrudging acceptance, Happy’s nod of approval the first time he’d seen you down whiskey from the bottle…  Then there were the stolen moments with Chibs when he’d sense your uncertainty and offer you a little guidance or simply hold you close and murmur, ‘You’re doin’ fine, lass.  I’m proud o’ ya.’  And the long nights propping up the bar with Tig, your stomach aching with laughter at his twisted sense of humour and the reassuring glow that came from the look of pure adoration in his eyes.  They were your family.

And for the first time, you felt a steady swell of confidence in your heart, hope breaking through and fighting its way to the surface.  They were your family and they were going to get you out of here.  You just knew it.


	24. Chapter 24

Darkness had fallen again.  You’d been in your prison for over twenty-four hours and the only person you’d seen had been the employee that came and brought you your meals.  The entire house seemed to be silent, only the low pitter patter of passing footsteps every so often alerting you to the fact that you weren’t entirely alone.  A small part of you almost wished that your buyer would return so that you could get the ordeal over with, face him and fight like hell.  Almost.  Your ability to lose yourself in your memories had long since ebbed away, and the fear had returned as time ticked on, the threat of what was to come working you up into a panic.  In an attempt to maintain your self-control, to focus your thoughts, you’d curled up at one end of the couch, your back to the cabinet that contained all manner of devices designed to inflict more pain than pleasure, and began thumbing through one of the novels from the bookshelf.  The story took you away, let your imagination drift, and the solid weight of it in your hands grounded you.  You were here.  You were alive.  For now.

From time to time you would close your eyes and focus on Opie, on Jax, on the guys that you called family, and wonder what they were doing.  You could picture them easily, sitting around the table with the reaper staring back at them, plotting and planning, working on getting you out.  You could see the thin line of Opie’s lips as he argued with Clay over the best way to go about rescuing you, how big a risk the President was willing to take, and Jax’s eyes flashing with anger as he sought to manage the situation, to stop the argument from escalating.  You could see Chibs rolling his eyes and drumming his fingers on the smooth wood.  ‘We’re wastin’ time.’  You could see Tig pacing back and forth, spinning his knife in his hand, tired of talking, ready for some action.  Except, of course, that he wouldn’t be there.  He’d be lying in a hospital bed if he was alive at all.  And that thought would bring you crashing back to reality and you’d bury yourself in the book once again.

You thought it must be nearing midnight when you first heard shouts from below.  Gunshots rang through the building and your pulse began to race as you flung yourself from your seat and flew to the window, peering out into the black.  Nothing.  The drive was highlighted by the glow that spilled out of the house, but it was just as it had been earlier, only a handful of sleek black cars such as the one that brought you here, neatly parked along one side.  But there was no mistaking the rattle of bullets and the wounded cries of men that echoed through the halls, and you crouched low behind the couch as the thud of heavy boots pounded along the corridor outside.  Was it…?  Could it be…?

Another shout, from closer this time, and you eased yourself out from your hiding place, inching cautiously towards the door.  It could be them.  It might be.  But without knowing who your buyer was, it was possible that he could have all manner of enemies that might want to wreak havoc whilst he was out of town.  You were meaning to press your ear to the smooth wood, to strain to hear the familiar tones of one of your guys, but you were still several steps away when the door crashed open, and, with a loud bang, the room filled with smoke.  It was in your throat, your nose, suffocating, your eyes stinging as you began to choke.  You dropped to the ground seeking clean air as panic seized you, but then strong arms were wrapping around your waist, hauling you upright, calloused fingers brushing the hair from your face.

‘Y/N?’  The Scottish accent made your heart ache, and you collapsed against Chibs, still coughing, unable to see his face but knowing from the lilt to his words and the leathery scent that mingled with his cologne that it was him.  ‘You’re alright now, love.  I got you.’

You opened your mouth to speak his name, to ask him what was happening, where the others were, but that just brought on another bout of choking and you bent double before you were scooped up, thrown over a broad shoulder, the world turning upside down.  The warm weight of his forearm clamped over the backs of your thighs as he carried you from the room, though the smoke in the hallway was almost as dense, and you could feel the tremors of his body as he took shallow breaths, fighting against its effects.  The click of a door opening had him spinning around so fast that nausea rose in your throat, and then you felt the jolt that shook him as he let loose another round of bullets.  

Another familiar voice shouted, ‘You got her?’ and you craned your neck, squinting through the cloud of grey to see Juice’s dark eyes staring at you in concern.  

‘Aye!  Smoked her up good ‘n’ all.  Let’s get out of here!’

Chibs hitched you up to stop you from slipping, his grip tightening as he descended the stairs hurriedly, with Juice close on his heels.  At the bottom, the Puerto Rican called out, ‘Hap!  We’re moving out!’

‘Got it,’ came the rasped reply.

You could feel the breeze drifting in through the open entranceway, dispersing the smoke so that you could breathe a little easier, make out the flashes of gunfire that flew back and forth as Happy covered you, bringing up the rear as Chibs tore across the hall and out onto the front steps.  There he stopped, depositing you on the ground and looking wildly round, a victorious cackle escaping him as a dark van tore around the corner, spitting gravel from beneath its spinning wheels.

‘Everybody in!’ he ordered, pulling open the back doors and gesturing for you to climb inside, hoisting himself up beside you and moving back to allow Juice and Happy space to hop up, rifles still pointed on the pursuing security as they opened fire on the vehicle.  A resounding clang rang in the confined space as Happy shut you inside, and, without a word, you sped off, haring along the driveway and off into the night.

For a moment, the only sounds were the rumble of the engine and the heavy pants of the men as they fought to catch their breaths, adrenaline coursing through their bodies after the battle.  You could feel tears of relief replacing those caused by the smoke, welling in your eyes, your bottom lip quivering.  They were here.  You were out.  They’d found you and they’d rescued you before anything bad had happened and you couldn’t believe your luck that you’d been chosen by this group to be one of their family.

Finally, Chibs turned his head, reaching out a hand to rest on your knee and squeezing it gently.  ‘You alright, love?’

You could only nod.  ‘What-?  How-?  Where-?’

He ignored your half-questions, instead running his eyes from your face down over chest and along your legs, right to the tip of your toes.  ‘Did they hurt ya?’

‘No.’  

‘You sure?’

You nodded, meeting his gaze when it returned to yours.  ‘I’m sure.  Aaron needed me unscathed for the auction and the guy who bought me got called away on business before he even got me back to the house.’

‘Right, business,’ Juice chipped in, a hint of amusement in his voice and you turned your gaze to him, brow furrowing in confusion.  

‘What?  That was you guys?’

‘Had Jax at the sale,’ Chibs confirmed.  ‘Once he saw who bought ya, we had Juicey run a search for his details, lured him away.’

‘Who was it?’

‘Just a joe normal business guy,’ Juice informed you with a shrug.  ‘Big in real estate.  The sort of player with a lot of money to burn.’

‘What happened to him?’

‘We taught him the error of his ways,’ Happy chipped in with a rapturous grin on his face.  ‘He won’t be buying any more girls anytime soon.’

You almost returned his smile, but a more pressing issue was nagging at your mind, and you turned back to Chibs, needing answers.  ‘Where are the others?  Jax and Opie?  Are they okay?  And what about Tig?  Did he make it?  Please, tell me he made it.’

‘Tiggy’s fine, lass,’ the Scot reassured you.  ‘He spent a few days at St. Thomas chatting up the pretty nurses while they pumped him full of blood ‘fore he discharged himself.  He’s on the mend.’

You nodded, the tight feeling in your chest easing a little at the knowledge that he was okay.  ‘And the others?’

Chibs and Juice exchanged a look and you frowned at them, your eyes flicking back and forth as you waited for one of them to speak.  Instead the next voice came from behind the wheel, and you eased yourself to your feet, making your way unsteadily to the front of the van and slipping into the passenger seat.  

‘They had a mission of their own.’  Piney cast you a sidewards glance, and you swallowed hard, waiting for him to go on.  ‘They think they managed to track down The Collective HQ.  Jax, Clay, Bobby and my boy, they headed over there to put an end to this bullshit.’

‘They’re shutting it down?’

‘They’re sure as hell gonna try.’  You could see the worry in his eyes as he kept his focus on the road, driving by the light of the full moon to avoid detection.  ‘Opie…  He’s not gonna rest ‘til Aaron’s dead.  He needs to be the one to do it, for you and for him.’

‘But-’

‘They’ll be fine, sweetheart,’ the old man said, seeking to comfort you, though you knew he was making empty promises.  ‘This isn’t their first rodeo, you know?’

But it was the first against a group like your brother’s.

 

* * *

 

Several hours later, the sun was just beginning to peek above the horizon as Charming came into view, spread out beneath you at the bottom of the hill.  Tension hung heavy in the air in the van, all of its occupants restless and needing to know what was happening with the rest of the guys, lost in their own worries.  Only Happy slept, snoring gently as Piney navigated the vehicle down into the town.

When the metal gates of Teller-Morrow came into view, you felt a wave of emotion threaten to drag you under, and you bit down on your lip to distract yourself, so thankful to be home that you thought you might fall to your knees and kiss the ground when Piney rolled the van to a halt in the lot.  The place was abandoned this early, and Juice hurried to close the gates, securing the clubhouse now that you were safely returned, as you slid to the tarmac, your limbs heavy with exhaustion.  As the guys slowly clambered out into the morning, yawning and stretching their aching joints, you turned to face them, your voice wavering.

‘Thank you.  You have no idea what you did for me back there but I swear, I owe you so much.  Thank you.  Thank you.’  You didn’t know what else to say, so you just kept saying those two little words, over and over, though they didn’t seem like anywhere near enough.  ‘Thank you.’

You didn’t stop until you were wrapped up in Chibby’s arms, held tight against his chest, his warmth soothing and necessary in the little black dress that you were still wearing from the sale the day before.  Your feet were bare, your toes going numb against the cold ground, but still you stood there, revelling in the embrace that told you that you were right back where you belonged.  Piney’s meaty hand was rubbing circles on your back, as Juice and Happy watched on, and only the loud creak of the clubhouse door swinging open disturbed the moment as you lifted your head from where it had been buried in the crook of the Scotsman’s neck to see Tig leaning heavily against the doorframe.  His dark curls were wild as ever, his bright blue eyes wide in his pale face as he watched you free yourself and take a step towards him.

And then you were running at him, laughing as you fell into his outstretched arms, threading your arms around his neck as he caught you around the waist, a large hand tangling in your hair as he cradled you to him.  You knew you must be hurting him, putting pressure on a wound that hadn’t had nearly enough time to heal yet, but he showed no sign of it, and when you went to move away, he just held you tighter.

‘I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry.  It was my fault.  I should’ve protected you.  I should never have let him take you.  I’m so sorry.’

‘It’s not your fault,’ you whispered, pulling back to press a soft kiss to his whiskery cheek, unable to look him in the eye because you couldn’t stand the guilt that you knew you’d see there.  ‘They shot you, Tiggy.  You were laying there, bleeding out, and he wouldn’t let me help you.  I-I thought you were gonna die.  I was so scared.’

Your voice broke on the last word, and you hid your face in the front of his shirt, sobbing as the events of the past couple of week overwhelmed you.

‘It’s okay,’ he murmured.  You could feel the others brushing past you as they entered the bar, seeking alcohol and relief from the bright sunlight that was now beaming down over the garage, but Tig remained where he was, holding you as you cried.  ‘It’s okay, sweetheart, we’ve got you now.  You’re home, baby.  You’re home.’


	25. Chapter 25

The first thing you were aware of as your dream relinquished its hold was a warm body beneath your head, shifting slowly, and a large hand rubbing over your shoulder, disturbing the blanket that was tucked around you.  For a moment, you fought the drag back to consciousness, wanting to stay right where you were, cosy and comfortable, but the hand was squeezing gently now, and a Scottish-accented rasp in your ear had your eyes flickering open.  

‘Wake up, love.  Ye boy’s here.’

You were curled up on the couch in the clubhouse, resting against Chibs’ chest, his arm wrapped around you, keeping you safe even in your sleep.  As you blinked dazedly, your focus landed on the gentle giant crouching in front of you, his brow creased with concern as he watched you take in your surroundings.  Opie.  Your heart gave a leap of relief as his presence finally sunk in, and you smiled, reaching out a hand to trail over his whiskery cheek.

‘I missed you.’

Opie’s frown melted away, softening his features, and then he was falling forward onto his knees and cupping your face in his hands, his lips capturing yours in an urgent kiss, as though he were trying to reassure himself that he really had you back.  

‘Are you okay?’ he asked finally as he broke away, his gaze raking over your face.  ‘Did they hurt you?’

‘I’m fine,’ you reassured him.  ‘I was too valuable to smack around before the auction and then the guys got me out of there before anything else could go down.’

‘Good.’  His sigh was heavy and, when Chibs ruffled your hair and eased himself up from the couch, Opie took his place, pulling you into his side, keeping you close.  ‘I don’t know what I would’ve done if anything happened to you.’

‘I’m sorry for what I’ve put you guys through,’ you admitted.  ‘I hate that I’ve caused all of this.  I hate that I got Tig hurt and that you had to risk everything to-’

‘Stop.’  He silenced you with another kiss and you breathed him in, feeling your guilt ebb away and the peace that had deserted you as you woke settle back over you.  ‘We’d do anything for you, Y/N.  We voted it.  It was unanimous.  You’re family.’

You nodded slowly.  ‘What happened out there, Ope?  Piney said you’d gone after Aaron…’

‘We did.’  You could tell by the tension in the muscles of his jaw that he didn’t have good news and you squeezed your eyes shut, burying your face in his neck.  

‘What is it?’

‘He got away.  We did enough damage to shut down the headquarters, at least for now, but Aaron slipped out the back.  We lost him.’

Your stomach knotted and a lump formed in your throat as you contemplated what that might mean for you.  There was no way your brother would let something like that go, and, in his eyes, it would be you that had brought the MC’s wrath down on his organisation.  He’d be back, you were sure, and he’d be out for blood this time.  Your days of being a commodity to him were over.  Now he would be seeking pure murderous vengeance.  You opened your mouth to speak, though you had no clue what to say, but, before you could form any words, the door to the clubhouse swung open and Jax entered, his face breaking into a grin when he saw you sitting there.

‘There she is!’

He opened his arms wide and you scrambled from your seat, hurrying over to him and falling in to your best friend’s embrace.  ‘Hey, Teller.’

His grip on you was tight enough to be painful, but you didn’t pull away, even as he lifted you clear off the ground.  ‘You doing okay?’

‘Yeah.’  It was a lie, and you knew Opie would be nodding at him behind your back, a silent gesture to let the VP know that you’d heard the latest on the assault.  ‘Thank you for trying.’

As your feet met the ground again, you stepped back, staring up into Jax’s face as his eyes darkened.  ‘We’re gonna end this, darlin’.  You have my word.  That prick isn’t gonna hurt you again.’

 

* * *

 

It had been a long day and, after a short meeting behind closed doors, Opie held out his hand to you, pulling you up from your spot on the couch.  ‘You ready to go?’

‘Where are we going?’ you asked.  You’d taken the opportunity while the guys were round the table to head to your room, needing to change your clothes and rid yourself of the dress that had been chosen for you.  You hadn’t paid much attention to what you were pulling on, ending up in loose tracksuit bottoms and a tank top and sinking your feet into your sneakers.  You’d stuffed some things into a bag, figuring that you wouldn’t be staying there, and you were obviously right.

‘My place.’  That surprised you but Opie just gave you a small smile.  ‘Cabin’s dead as a safe house now.  You’re gonna stay with me.  Clay’s arranged for a few guys from Rogue River to keep watch, and they’ll be running patrols around the block too.  We won’t get caught out again.’

‘Wow, you’re really pulling out all the stops, huh?’ you commented, but he didn’t respond, and you followed quietly behind him as he led the way to his bike.

His body was so familiar as you climbed on behind him, shuffling forward until you were pressed against his back, resting your cheek against the reaper and smoothing your hands over the firm expanse of his stomach.  It felt like it had been years since you’d last sat like that but, in reality, it had only been a few weeks.  The engine rumbled to life beneath you and you took a deep breath as the motorcycle peeled out of the yard.  You were home.  You were with Opie.  Everything was going to be okay.

 

* * *

 

‘You’re quiet,’ you observed, setting down your fork, leaving your plate of dinner mostly untouched.  In all honesty, you weren’t hungry, but you felt like Opie needed to be doing something, so you’d let him cook anyway.  It had given you time to take a shower, towelling yourself dry and slipping back into your clothes before padding back into the kitchen.  Opie had barely glanced up as you’d entered, and you’d been sitting in near silence ever since.  It was unsettling and you knew you needed to get to the bottom of it.

‘Don’t really know what to say.’  Like you, he was only picking at his meal, though he was making short work of the beer that he’d cracked open before sitting down.  ‘I’m…  I don’t know.’

‘Ope?’  You stretched your arm across the table, seeking his hand and lacing your fingers through his, ducking your head to meet his gaze.

‘I just…  We let that happen to you, Y/N.  You warned us about what The Collective were capable of and we…  We didn’t listen.’

‘It wasn’t like that.  You-’

‘What was it like then, huh?’  His eyes flashed with anger and you couldn’t help but wonder if he’d been sitting on this the whole time that you’d been missing.

‘You tried, Ope.  And that means the world to-’

‘It doesn’t matter!  They still took you!  Aaron still managed to get to you and you were just gone and I thought… ‘  He tailed off as his voice wavered and he leant his head in his hands, hiding his face behind his curtain of hair.  ‘I thought I’d lost you.  Like I lost Donna.’

Your heart broke for him.  You’d known he’d be worried, of course you had.  You could only imagine how you would have felt if the roles were reversed.  But you hadn’t considered that Opie had already lost one woman that he’d loved to mindless bloody violence and that it had damn near broken him.

You rose from your chair, skirting around the table and settling yourself in his lap, forcing his head up as his arms instinctively went around you.  ‘I’m here, baby.  I’m here and I’m okay and I love you.’

His eyes were dark pools of anguish, so deep you could have drowned in them if you’d let yourself, letting the fear pull you both under, but instead you pressed your mouth to his.  If your kiss in the clubhouse had been urgent, driven by the desire to feel the other person, to know they were there, tangible, alive, then this kiss was about moving forward together, drawing the strength you each needed to face whatever came next.  You could feel it in the way Opie clung to you, this big, brave man holding you as though you were a buoy in a cold, tempestuous ocean.  You could taste it in the kisses that were hungry and desperate, a wild clash of teeth and tongues that drew breathless whimpers from deep within you.  And, when Opie pulled away to lever himself to his feet, scooping you up as he went, you could see it in the way his eyes stayed fixed on you, not leaving yours as he carried you to his bedroom.

You lost yourself then, letting your mind shut down as your body existed on pure sensation.  Nails scratching, beard scraping, calloused hands and soft, pillowy lips.  Smooth skin, a wild tangle of hair, firm muscles flexing and limbs interlocking as his weight settled over you.  You felt every movement as though it had been amplified by your time apart, every sense heightened, every nerve sparking with energy as you climbed endlessly higher.  And when, with a cry of ecstasy, you reached the peak, everything slipped away except bright, brilliant flashes of colour and Opie’s scent swimming in the air around you.

Tears filled your eyes as he rolled to the side, pulling you with him, unwilling to tear his touch or his gaze from you just yet.  Since breaking down in Tig’s arms, you’d managed to keep your emotions in check, more or less, but now, vulnerable and overwrought, you felt your resolve crumble again.  But as the first trickle of moisture spilled over, Opie’s thumb was there, wiping it away, before it was replaced with his lips, kissing your eyelids over and over until there were no tears left to cry.  

‘I’m sorry,’ you murmured into the crook of his neck as you nuzzled against him, letting his warmth settle you.  ‘I’m sorry, Ope.’

‘You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.’

‘But-’

He hushed you with a light brush of his lips against yours.  ‘I love you.’

‘I-’

A knock at the front door disturbed the moment, and you sprang upright in the bed, pulling the covers tight around you as Opie reached first for his jeans, then for his gun, the gentle expression of just seconds before replaced by a steely glare.  ‘Stay there.’

You obeyed, though you strained your ears to track his movements as he paced down the hall and slid the security chain into place.  You heard the click of the lock, and then the creak of the door easing open and a low rumble of voices.  Minutes passed before he reappeared in the bedroom doorway, the gun nowhere to be seen and a tense set to his jaw.  

‘What is it?’ you asked, feeling more unsettled by the unreadable look in his eyes than you would have had you seen panic there.  ‘Ope, what’s-’

‘It’s for you,’ was all he said, stooping to retrieve his shirt from the floor and disappearing from the room once again.

You dressed quickly, confused, pulling the bedroom door open cautiously, still uncertain as to what was awaiting you.

Jax stood in the entranceway, his shoulders hunched, his expression grim as he glanced up at you.  Opie was nowhere to be seen, though you could hear the clink of a beer being opened somewhere in the house.  Frowning, you shuffled towards your friend, set on edge by the hostile atmosphere that had descended.

‘Jax?  What are you doing here?’

‘Sorry.’  He shifted uncomfortably, hands buried deep in his pockets.  ‘I know it’s late.  I need to talk to you.’

‘I…’  You tailed off as a shadow appeared over your shoulder and you felt Opie’s presence behind you.  ‘This isn’t really a good time.’

‘I know.  I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important.’

‘Okay.’  You were still unsure, glancing to Ope again, before motioning for Jax to go through to the living room.  ‘We can-’

‘No.’  He shook his head.  ‘Will you come for a ride with me?’

You couldn’t say no.  He was your best friend and he looked so lost.  So, you slipped on your trainers and followed him out of the house.  ‘I’m sorry, baby.  I’ll be back soon.’

‘Sure,’ was the only response you got.

 

* * *

 

You didn’t go far.  You supposed you couldn’t really, with Rogue River patrolling the streets.  Taking you outside of their perimeter would have defeated the point and put you at risk, something that Jax wouldn’t do under any circumstances.  As he rolled the bike to a halt beside a small play park on the other side of Opie’s block, he unclipped his helmet and waited for you to climb off before doing the same.  His hand found yours as he pushed through the gate into the fenced off area, and you followed him to the swings, watching as he took a seat before you settled yourself on the one beside him.

There was a chill to the night air that penetrated the hoody that you’d grabbed from the chair in Opie’s bedroom, and you found that you were shivering as you gazed out into the darkness.  Small pools of light illuminated the night, spilling from street lamps, the orange glow forming eerie shadows on the ground.  Beneath your feet, the grass was damp, tickling your ankles as the icy droplets seeped into your sneakers.  The silence was deafening.

Eventually, you couldn’t stand it any longer and you cleared your throat, breaking Jax’s reverie.  ‘What am I doing here, Teller?’

He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair, his rings chinking together.  ‘I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have barged in and ruined your night.  I know you and Ope probably had a lot of catching up to do.’

You nodded.  ‘I missed him.’

‘Well, it’s good to have you back, darlin’.’  Jax’s crooked smile made your stomach dip, but you ignored it, keeping your expression neutral as you prompted him again.

‘Jax, what’s going on?’

‘Tara.’  His voice was barely audible.  ‘She left me.’

Of course, no matter what was happening with you, real life was still ticking away in the background.  Tara and Jax’s relationship issues weren’t going to be put on hold just because he was spending countless hours tracking you down.  ‘I’m sorry.’

‘She took the kids.  Went to stay with someone from work.’

His tone was devoid of emotion and you wondered just when things had gotten this bad.  Once Aaron had stepped up his terror campaign against you, you’d stopped asking, and, if you were honest, you’d forced it from your head.  The kiss you’d shared and the argument that had followed was something that you just couldn’t let yourself dwell on.  You had Opie.  That was all that mattered.  ‘You think you’ll be able to fix it?’

‘Honestly, I don’t know this time,’ he confessed.  ‘I’m not sure it’s even worth trying.  All we do is fight.’

You shrugged.  ‘Only you can make that decision, I guess.’

‘It’s not easy, especially with Abel and Thomas.  But…  She’s not cut out for the club life.  Maybe it’s time for us to face up to that, stop forcing things.’

‘Do you love her?’ you found yourself asking, and his jaw dropped open, though no sound came out.  ‘It should be a simple question, Teller.  If you have to think about it, you probably don’t.’

‘Do you love Ope?’  His gaze was intense as he stared you down, and the air grew thick, making it hard to breathe.

‘I do.’  He shook his head, a smirk flashing across his face and you let out a humourless laugh.  ‘This is about my relationship, Jax.  It’s about yours.  I don’t wanna do this with you again.’

His head was tilted back, his attention on the stars, the muscle in his jaw ticking as he grit his teeth, before he exhaled loudly and turned his focus back to you.  ‘Fine.  Then I’ll get to the real reason I’m here.  Did Opie say anything to you?’

‘About what?’  

‘Y/N, the photos in your room, the night of Gemma’s dinner, they weren’t the only ones your brother took.’

‘What do you mean?’  You narrowed your eyes, trying to comprehend where this was going.  ‘There were more?’

‘Just one.  You and me from that night.  The kiss.’

‘Wh-what are you talking about?’

‘They left it on Ope’s truck, Y/N.  He knows.’


	26. Chapter 26

‘Oh God.’  You pushed yourself up from the swing, your hands coming up to fist your hair as you moved away from Jax, needing to put some distance between you as you cast your mind back over the past few hours.  Opie had been quiet, sure, but he’d seemed more mad at himself than with you.  Or maybe you’d read that wrong.  But the way he’d kissed you, the way he’d held you…  No, there was no mistaking that, or was there?  He knew.  He knew you’d kissed Jax or Jax had kissed you.  What the hell were you supposed to do with that?  You spun on your heel, whirling back round to face your best friend, lips drawn in a look of grim determination.  ‘Did you tell him?  Did you tell him it was you that kissed me?  Did you tell him that I pushed you away?’

‘Of course, I did.’  Jax eased himself to his feet, stepping closer, his arms reaching out for you.  ‘I didn’t want this to happen, Y/N.  I never intended to hurt you or Ope-’

‘Then why the hell did you kiss me in the first place, you jackass?’  You shoved him away, your heart clenching a little at the hurt that flashed across his face.  ‘God, Jax, what the hell are you even doing?  You’re pushing Tara away, you’re trying to pull me closer.  I’m with Opie!  I love Opie!  I’m not gonna let you ruin that!’

‘You need to calm down!’  That voice.  That was his VP voice, used to pull rank and shut down disorder without question.  You felt yourself bristle under his steely glare and you shook your head in disbelief.  He’d never used that tone on you.  You weren’t one of his men.  You were supposed to be his friend.  ‘Look, this isn’t my fault, Y/N.  I put myself out there.  You shut me down.  I was fine with that.’  At your smirk, he backtracked.  ‘Okay, not fine, but I accepted it, okay?  It was your brother that did this!  They were the ones stalking us from the shadows and they were the ones that left that photo for Opie to find!’

He was breathing hard, his eyes narrowed dangerously, and for the first time you saw a glimpse of the man that could murder, the man that had committed enough criminal acts to be sitting at the President’s side.  Clay exuded cruelty from every pore - it was out of his control, a tangible feeling created by the things he’d done - but Jax was usually better at keeping that side of him hidden away.  Not tonight.

‘Look,’ he spoke up again, reaching out to grasp your elbow, his face softening when you didn’t pull away.  ‘If Opie hasn’t said anything then he probably knows it wasn’t your fault, darlin’.  He know I’m an ass.  He won’t be blaming you.’

You sighed.  There was nothing else to say.  Opie knew.  You could stand out there arguing with Jax all night but it wouldn’t change that simple fact.  ‘Just take me back, Teller.  I need to see him.’

Jax nodded, fingers drifting upwards to squeeze your shoulder.  ‘Are we okay?’

‘I don’t know,’ you admitted.  ‘I-I don’t know anything until I talk to him.  I just… I can’t lose him, Jax.’

 

* * *

 

The house was in darkness when you crept back in.  The bedroom door was ajar, and you slipped inside, shrugging the hoody from your shoulders and toeing off your shoes.  You could just make out Opie’s figure in the bed and, as you crawled in beside him, you tentatively reached out to trail your fingers over his back, tracing the outline of his shoulder blades, waiting for him to stir, but he remained still, facing away from you, arms crossed over his chest.  He might be sleeping, you told yourself, even as you increased the pressure of your fingertips against his skin.  He might be exhausted after the stress of the past few weeks.  But something told you that he was faking, avoiding a difficult conversation.  There was nothing you could do if he wasn’t ready to talk, and you rolled onto your side, drawing in a shaky breath, and waited for sleep to come.  

 

* * *

 

The feeling of the bed dipping beside you wrenched you from your sleep and your eyes flickered open, blinking dazedly against the bright daylight that flooded the room.  You felt groggy with tiredness, having tossed and turned for most of the night, unsure if you were imagining the silent rays of hostility emanating from the man beside you.  Now, Opie was sitting by your feet, already dressed, bent over to tie the laces of his boots.  He looked pale in the morning sunshine, dark circles beneath his eyes only adding to your suspicion that he’d been awake for as much of the night as you had, and you eased yourself up on your elbows, finally capturing his attention as he cast a glance your way.

‘Morning.’

The grunt you got in response wasn’t promising.  

‘You’re up early,’ you continued, desperate for some sign that maybe the two of you would be okay.  ‘You going somewhere?’

‘Clay wants us round the table,’ Opie finally spoke, his voice gruff, words clipped, as though he was trying to keep the conversation as short as possible.  ‘Gotta figure out where your brother ran off to.’

‘Right.’  You combed your fingers through your hair, swinging your legs out of the bed, ready to get up.  ‘Well, give me ten minutes and I’ll-’

‘You’re not coming.’

You froze, eyes narrowing as you stared at him.  ‘What do you mean?  I thought-’

‘You’re staying here.  Someone will be by to sit with you in a while and we’ve still got Rogue River patrolling the streets.  You’ll be safe.’

He levered himself to his feet, reaching for his kutte that was folded over the back of the chair in the corner and pulling it on, before retrieving a rubber band from the pocket and scooping his hair up into a bun which was soon covered by a dark woollen beanie.  You watched as he readied himself to leave, barely finding your voice before he disappeared out of the door.  ‘But I want to be with you.  Surely the best place for me to be is with you guys.’

‘You’ll just get in the way,’ he snapped, not looking back as he disappeared out of sight.

Seconds later you heard the front door slam behind him, leaving you alone with a pit of dread forming deep in your gut.

 

* * *

 

The silence in the house was deafening.  You’d endeavoured to keep busy, not wanting to dwell too long on what your brother might be doing, where he might be, and how the hell you were going to fix things with Opie.  You’d spent a long time in the shower, standing beneath the spray, letting the water warm you, its gentle pitter patter against the tiles soothing and hypnotic.  When it had run cold, you’d hopped out and dressed, fixed yourself some breakfast and now…  Now, you were laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling and wondering what you were going to do to pass the time until Opie got home.  

He’d told you someone would be by to check on you but you supposed they’d only be free to do that once the meeting had finished and who knew how long that would take.  On a matter like this, everyone would have an opinion, a strategy to put forward, and the time taken for each man to say their piece and debate the pros and cons could drag it out for hours.  Eventually, exhausted from your sleepless night and too lethargic to do anything to distract yourself from your worries, you drifted into an uneasy sleep.

 

* * *

 

The scent of coffee and the muffled thud of heels against the carpet woke you, and you bolted upright, staring wildly round, disorientated and on edge.  When your gaze fell upon the figure leaning in the doorway, you exhaled heavily, letting your head fall back against the couch and rubbing the sleep from your eyes.  

‘Dammit, Gem, you scared the hell out of me.’

The matriarch only smiled at you as she entered the room, passing you a mug of steaming hot liquid, before dropping down into the armchair and cupping her own in her hands.  ‘Sorry.  It’s hard to tiptoe in these.’  She gestured to her boots and you nodded.

‘Right.’

‘The guys are still in the chapel.  Thought I’d swing by and see how you were doing.’  She leaned forward to study you more intently, dark eyes combing over your face.  ‘You look tired, baby.’

‘I am,’ you agreed, taking a sip of your drink and wrinkling your nose when it burnt your tongue.  ‘It’s been a long few… months, really, I guess.’

‘Well, you’re missed at the office.  Got a pile of paperwork up to my ass waiting for you when you get back.’

‘Can hardly wait,’ you announced drily and she smirked, her lips quirking for several moments before her face grew serious again.

‘How are you, Y/N?’

You tucked your legs up beneath you, swallowing hard.  ‘I don’t know.  Everything’s just such a mess and I don’t even know where to start with sorting it all out.’

‘You talking about your psycho brother or the mess my boy’s made?’

‘He told you.’

‘I guessed some of it.  He filled me in on the rest.’  At your incredulous look, she cocked her head and raised an eyebrow.  ‘There’s not a lot us mom’s miss, you know?’

You didn’t.  How could you?  By the time you were at the age where your mom might have risked missing anything she was gone and you were under Aaron’s care.  Still, you nodded slowly.  ‘I thought things with me and Ope were good.  I mean, he was quiet, but for him that’s not really unusual.  I thought he was just processing, y’know, what happened to me and the fact that Aaron’s still out there.  And then Jax shows up and tells me about the picture and, when I get back, it’s like he can’t stand to look at me, Gemma.  I don’t… I don’t know how to fix this.’

‘Do you love him?’  It was the same question Jax had asked the night before and it was an easy one to answer.

‘I do.’

‘And what about Jax?  How do you feel about him?’  That one was harder.  ‘You know, when you first showed up I thought it was only a matter of time before he ditched Tara and made you his old lady.  You were a better fit.  You accepted the club.  You didn’t try and change him into something he isn’t.  And I saw the way you looked at him.  You were infatuated.’

‘I was.’

‘So, what changed?’

You hesitated for a moment.  ‘N-nothing, I guess.  I mean, I still love Jax.  He’s…  he’s strong and he’s brave and he’s kind.  You know what he did for me, taking me in and…  I can’t ever repay him for that.  He’s… he’s Jax, Gem.  I can’t put into words what he means to me.’

She sat back, blowing into her mug before taking a sip of coffee, thinking hard.  ‘You know the doc left him.’

‘Yeah, he said.’

‘She took the boys.’

‘I know.’

‘He needs an old lady to keep him in line.’

You scoffed, shaking your head.  ‘Well, it’s not gonna be me.  I can’t.’

‘You sure about that?’


	27. Chapter 27

‘Morning.’  Your voice was husky with tiredness and you hugged your knees closer to your chest, curling yourself into a ball against the back of the armchair where you’d been sitting for the past hour, waiting for the figure you’d found stretched out on the couch to stir.

Now, Opie tilted his head to look at you, before easing himself upright with a groan, running a hand through his tangled mane of hair to push it back from his eyes.  ‘Morning.’

You shifted uncomfortably when he dropped his gaze to his hands, twisting his rings around his fingers, not offering any more. You’d given up on him the night before, crawling into bed around midnight when he hadn’t returned home and straining your ears to hear any sounds from outside before you finally drifted into sleep.  Waking up alone in Opie’s bed had been disorientating, and your first instinct had been to panic until you’d stumbled into the living room and found him there. ‘I was worried when I woke up without you.’

‘It was pretty late when I got back,’ he mumbled.  ‘Didn’t wanna disturb you.’

‘I wish you would’ve.’  You hated the desperate whine in your voice, hated how weak it made you sound when, really, you had nothing to feel guilty about.  You’d pushed Jax away, you’d stopped it, but the narrowed eyes through which Opie regarded you now brought a lump to your throat.  ‘Can we talk?’

‘What time is it?’  He dug in his pocket for his phone, ignoring your request, grimacing when he saw the relatively late hour.  ‘I gotta get-’

‘Please, Opie.’  He’d been halfway to pushing himself up from the couch, but he stilled at your request, before settling himself back with a quiet huff.  ‘Jax told me you know… about the kiss.’

‘Yeah.’  He was staring at the floor now, hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees, but you could still see the anguish writ over his face.  ‘Your brother was kind enough to leave a photograph of the moment on the windshield of my truck.  Found it after running you up to the cabin.’

‘I’m sorry.  You shouldn’t have had to find out that way.  It should never have even happened.’

‘Well, it did.’  His words held a heartbreaking finality and you scrabbled around to find the right thing to say to bring him back to you.

‘Jax said he told you it was him, that I pushed him away.’

‘Yeah, he did.’

‘Opie, please…’  You couldn’t bear this, how he shut every attempt you made down abruptly, without once meeting your eyes.  The pain that had twisted his features was gone now, replaced by a blank mask that you just couldn’t seem to penetrate.

‘He told me everything Y/N, alright?’  Finally his gaze locked on yours, and you flinched at the icy cold edge to his voice.  ‘I don’t need to hear it again.  I know it was him that kissed you and I know he has feelings for you.  I know he kissed you the night we first hooked up, too.’

Well, Jax hadn’t mentioned that bit, but you couldn’t see how he could hold that against you.  You and Opie had come out of nowhere, and it hadn’t even been a vague concept in your head when Jax had kissed you in his dorm.  ‘Ope-‘

‘See, I thought you were lonely, like me,’ he continued, cutting off your protest, pushing himself to his feet and pacing as he laid it all on you.  ‘I thought you needed someone.  You know you were the first woman I’d been with since Donna?  But it turned out, I was just convenient, I guess.  Because Jax got you all worked up and then your conscience kicked in.’

‘It wasn’t like that,’ you argued, but you couldn’t lie to him.  That night, with alcohol buzzing in your veins and the taste of Jax on your tongue, it had been exactly like that. ‘Okay, maybe it was at the time, but… something changed.  The first night of the charity run, feeling your eyes on me in that bar…  I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anyone as much as I wanted you that night.  I was scared and running away from Aaron’s note, and you made me feel safe.  After that, I knew it was you, Ope.’

‘Did you?’  It was like every word you said made things worse and the daggers in his eyes now made you physically recoil.

‘What-‘

‘Because I can live with knowing that Jax kissed you first.  I can even live with knowing that he kissed you again, even though that picture…  But he always comes first with you, Y/N, and that…’  He tailed off, the fight going out of him as his shoulders slumped.  ‘That’s what really sucks about all of this.

Forcing your limbs to move, you crawled off of the couch and inched towards him, reaching out to trail your fingers over his chest, trying to break through, to remind him of who you were.  ‘No, baby, he doesn’t-‘

‘Yeah, he does.’  He backed away from your touch, as though he couldn’t stand to have you so close to him.  ‘You remember the night of Gemma’s dinner, right before you finally came clean about your brother?  You knew what a big deal it was for me to show up there with my kids, I told you how scared I was to try and be a father without Donna there keeping everyone in line, and you promised me you’d be my side.  And then you just left, Y/N.  Jax needed you and you just took off.’

You cast your mind back.  It felt like so long ago now, with everything that had happened after.  Jax had stormed out in a rage after his fight with Tara and you’d climbed onto the back of his bike without a second thought.  He’d looked so broken, so lost, you couldn’t have said no, even if you’d wanted to.  It had never even occurred to you that, by leaving with him, you were letting Opie down.  ‘I-I… I’m sorry.’

‘And last night…’ he went on, brushing off your apology, determined to get it all off his chest now that he’d started.  ‘I just got you back.  It was the first night I had you back and I thought I could put everything else behind us if I had you back in my arms and then Jax shows up and you left… Again.’

‘Ope-‘

‘No,’ he shut you down, not wanting to hear your pleas and his next words forced your breath from your body, your chest tightening as he steeled himself against you.  ‘I can’t do this anymore.  I love you.  I never thought I’d love anyone after… But I fell for you, hard. And I trusted you to make that okay.  But I’m always gonna be the other guy for you, aren’t I?  Your second choice?’

‘N-no!’  Something deep within you felt like this was your last chance to make things right. What could you say, what could you do, to prove to him how much he meant to you?  ‘No, please, it’s not… I love you, Opie, I do.  I know I’ve messed up but I just… Things have been so crazy and up in the air and I’ve needed both of you.  He’s my best friend but you… You’re everything.  Please.  I want to be with you!’

‘Are you sure about that?’

It was an easy question to answer.  You’d had a lot of time to think about it since Gemma had put you on the spot with her own question the previous afternoon.  Empty hours had passed as you sat in quiet contemplation.  Jax Teller needed someone.  Jax Teller needed an old lady, a woman strong enough to deal with the club’s challenges and keep him moving in the right direction.  Could that be you?  You’d even pictured it for a short time – waking up to him, cooking breakfast with Thomas on your hip, welcoming him home with open arms and falling into bed with him, letting him work out his aggressions and frustrations as you held on tight and gave yourself up to him completely.  It had almost been a perfect picture.  Except…  Except that every time you imagined walking into the clubhouse with Jax’s arm around your waist, you’d find yourself focusing on Opie’s face as he lurked in the shadows, keeping his distance, and the sensation of being apart from him had brought tears to your eyes.  ‘I’m sure.’

The sincerity in your words was unmistakable and for a moment Opie just stared at you. His gaze had softened, ever so slightly, and, when he didn’t speak, you considered stepping forward to cup his cheek, maybe tugging his head down so you could push yourself up on tiptoes and kiss him.  He’d have to know then, wouldn’t he?  One kiss and he’d be able to tell how much you loved him.  But, before you could move, the silence was broken by the shrill ring of his cell, and he pulled it from his pocket and flipped it open, turning his back on you as he strode into the kitchen, shutting the door behind him.

Your heart was racing as you dropped back into your seat, replaying the last few minutes in your head.  It hadn’t been about the kiss, you realised now, not remotely.  If he’d been mad about that you’d have felt it the second he’d pulled you back into his arms.  No, the distance had come as soon as Jax had knocked on his door and now, thinking about your actions, you couldn’t blame him.  How could you have been so stupid?  The problem was that Opie always seemed so solid, so dependable, whereas Jax wore his heart on his sleeve, at least with you, sometimes seeming so fragile that you thought he might shatter if you didn’t hold him together.  But that wasn’t an excuse.  You were Opie’s old lady.  You needed to remember that.

‘I gotta go.’  You’d been so lost in thought that you didn’t even notice that he’d reappeared until he spoke, and you blinked dazedly as you registered that he was tugging on a fresh shirt, shrugging his kutte on over the top, his mouth set in a thin line.  He was leaving?

‘No, wait-‘

‘They found him.’

The ground dropped out from beneath you at the announcement and you found yourself gripping the arms of the chair so tight that your knuckles paled, the skin stretching obscenely over the joints.  Aaron.  They’d tracked him down.  How that was possible, you couldn’t even begin to comprehend.  He had security working round the clock, connections in places higher than the Sons could ever hope to reach.  But they’d done it, and that meant that it could be over in a matter of hours, your nightmare finally coming to a bloody end.  ‘Take me with you.’

‘No.  You stay here.’

‘But-‘

‘Stay here,’ Opie ordered again, unflinching despite the anxiety in your eyes.  ‘Tig’s coming.  He’ll sit with you.’

You frowned, confused.  The MC had tracked down the head of The Collective and they weren’t taking the Sergeant At Arms along for the ride.  It didn’t make sense.  ‘But isn’t he-‘

‘No.  This one’s mine.’

 

* * *

 

When Tig arrived, you were sitting at the kitchen table, clutching a mug of lukewarm coffee from which you hadn’t taken a single sip.  It had been a comforting habit, boiling the water, stirring in the instant granules, adding sugar and a little milk.  You hadn’t needed to think to do it, moving on instinct, but, as soon as the task was done, you realised that you couldn’t swallow around the lump in your throat.

‘Hey, doll.  Where you hiding?’ he called out, and you heard his heavy footsteps moving along the corridor, into the living room, drawing nearer until he appeared in the doorway. ‘Shit, baby, what’s the matter?’

You knew you must look a mess.  You were still clad in the tracksuit bottoms and tank top that you’d worn in bed, your hair a wild tangle, your eyes puffy with the tears that had been trickling down your cheeks since Opie had slammed out of the house.  Tig’s arms were around you instantly, pulling you to your feet and against his chest, holding you tight.

‘I-I can’t talk about it right now.’  Opie wouldn’t welcome you discussing your relationship with one of his brothers, you knew, especially not Tig.  Besides, there were more pressing matters to deal with at that moment and you pulled back to meet his eyes, drowning in the concern you found there.  ‘Is it true?  Have they found Aaron?’

‘Yeah,’ he confirmed with a nod.  ‘Got word from a cousin of Alvarez.  Turns out his brother-in-law works security for The Collective.  Gave us the info on one of their safe houses that’s just been brought into play.’  When you sagged in his embrace, he pulled you against him once more, burying his face in your hair as you clung to him.  ‘Hey, thought that’d be good news.’

Aaron was going to die today.  You knew that then with absolutely certainty.  He wouldn’t escape the MC again, no way, not with the rage that spurred them on.  He’d hurt you and you were family.  There was no coming back from that.  But a small part of you just couldn’t believe that it had finally come to this point, and you knew that, no matter what stories you were told when the guys returned triumphant, you’d still be scared of the shadows, watching your back, constantly on edge and waiting for the game to begin again.

‘I just… I need to be there, Tiggy.  I can't…’

‘Oh, no, Y/N, you don’t wanna see that, I promise you.’  He was shaking his head, stroking your hair back from your face.

‘I do.  I need to see it.  I need to know he’s really gone.’  You lifted your head from his chest, turning beseeching eyes on him.  He had to understand.  You had to make him understand.  ‘I thought I’d gotten away from him when I came here.  I thought I was free and then he came back and…  I need to see him die, Tig.  I need to know he’s not coming after me again.’

‘Shit, sweetheart, you know I’d take you if I could but Clay would have my ass…’  For a second you thought he might stand firm, but as soon as the sigh escaped his lips, you knew you’d won.  ‘Dammit, you’re killing me here!  Alright.  Okay.  Grab your coat.’  You tore yourself from his grasp, already halfway out of the room before he caught you round the wrist, jaw tightening as he issued his conditions.  ‘But you wait outside, you hear me.  If shit goes south I need to get you outta there.’


	28. Chapter 28

‘What the hell is she doing here?’  Clay’s eyes flashed with anger as you slid from the back of Tig’s bike, though not before you felt the rider shrug emphatically, spreading his arms.

‘I can’t say no to her, man.  She does this thing with her eyes-‘

‘I need to be here,’ you cut off Tig’s protests, drawing yourself up to your full height, though you still fell short of the Club President, and folding your arms across your chest.  ‘You know what he put me through, Clay.’

You were standing outside a derelict looking warehouse, though the yard was freshly swept and the windows were sparkling clean.  Trust your brother, you thought, to ensure that, even when he was laying low in a safe house, certain standards weren’t compromised. The MC’s bikes were lined up against a wire fence, and various members were spread around the perimeter, guns poised and ready to shoot, though you couldn’t pick Opie out amongst their numbers.

Clay was still glaring down at you, but you stood your ground, unflinching, and finally he let out a huff of frustration and jabbed a finger into your chest.  ‘Fine!  But you stay out of the way, you hear me?  I don’t wanna hear a damn peep out of you ‘til this is over.’  He turned his attention to Tig who’d now climbed from his bike and made his way over, hovering behind you, unsure.  ‘You, watch her.’

‘Yes, boss.’

Clay strode away and the curly-haired outlaw stepped forward, slinging his arm around your neck.  ‘See, told you he wouldn’t like it.’

You rolled your eyes, but shuffled closer to Tig, freaking out a little now that you were at the scene of the crime and here to stay.  Aaron was somewhere inside, hidden away behind the thick concrete walls, surrounded.  But you knew better than to think he’d go down without a fight.  ‘Can you find out what’s going on?’

‘Sure thing, sweetheart.’  Relinquishing his hold on you, Tig scanned the men that stood, alert, in the yard in front of the building and raised a hand to his mouth, amplifying his voice as he called, ‘Hey, Hap!  Get over here!’

Breaking formation, the assassin wore a look of satisfaction as he strode towards you, a toothpick clamped between his teeth.  ‘You shouldn’t be here, little lady,’ he greeted you, but you could see the humour behind his eyes, and you shook him off when he reached out to ruffle your hair.

‘What’s happening, man?’ Tig asked, and it was straight back to business as Happy filled you in.

‘Got three men inside.  Two on each door.  Rest of us are holding back ‘til we get the signal.  No way a guy like your brother isn’t calling for back-up,’ he added, nodding in your direction.  ‘We just gotta hold off the heat ‘til they do what needs to be done.’

‘Who’s inside?’ you asked, cautiously, though you already knew the answer.

‘Jax, Chibs and your old man,’ came the response, and the knot in your stomach tightened. ‘They got walkies.  Any problems, we’ll move in.’

‘And what if Aaron gets out?’  You couldn’t help yourself.  Worst case scenarios were flashing through your head and you felt slightly dizzy as you pictured how badly wrong this could go.

But Happy was unfazed.  ‘I’ll kill him.  A lot.’

‘Hey, man, this is Opie’s shot, right?’ Tig reminded the eager killer.  ‘S’why I was assigned babysitting duty instead of…’  He tailed off as he felt your narrowed eyes boring into him. ‘I mean… Ain’t nowhere else I’d rather be.’  He squeezed your shoulder and you shook your head, turning back to Hap when he spoke again.

‘Doesn’t matter who takes the shot.  Long as he’s dead.’

With that, he span on his heel and stalked back across the yard to take up his position again and you shuddered.  ‘Oh, God.  This feels…  I can’t…’

‘Deep breaths, sweetheart,’ Tig reassured you, holding you impossibly tighter.  You were glad of it though, his grip grounding you as you nestled against him.  ‘It’ll all be over soon.’

 

* * *

 

It was too quiet.  You knew you’d only been there for a matter of minutes, but it felt like hours had passed, and still no-one moved.  The tension in the air was thick and suffocating, hanging over the assembled men like a storm cloud as their eyes scanned the building, watching, waiting.  You’d wandered away from Tig, perching yourself on his bike as he took up a defensive stance several yards away.  It was instinctive to him, you realised.  He was a soldier through and through, and he would fight to his last breath to keep you safe. You only hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Only now that you had the time to study him properly did you realise what it was costing him to be there with you.  He was still pale, weak from his wound, and you thought the decision to assign him to watch you had just as much to do with his recovery as it did Opie’s insistence that he should be the one to take Aaron out.  You wondered whether he should even be riding at all, but it was too late now.  There’d be plenty of time to heal and gather his strength after.  Today it would end.

A door crashing open at the far corner of the building had your heart leaping into your mouth and you rolled yourself off of the bike, landing in a low crouch behind it, trusting it to protect you from the bullets that you knew were about to fly.  Peering over the fuel tank, you could just make out three suited bodies appearing from inside, though you could tell from their build that they weren’t your brother.  `A startled gasp left you as the two outlaws on post at the door dropped, taken down by silenced weapons before they could react.  The rattle of gunfire sounded from your left, and the men in suits collapsed to the ground, their white shirts melting into red as their lives drained away.  

Tig turned towards you, silently checking that you were okay, and you nodded, though your heart was pounding in your ears.  Where were they?  Were your guys okay?  Your fear tasted sour in your mouth and you fought the urge to vomit.  You needed this to be over.

The crack of pistols sounded again, this time from inside the building, and you couldn’t fight it anymore.  You couldn’t stay out there, not knowing, hoping, praying that Opie was okay, that Jax was alive, that Chibby was unhurt.  You couldn’t trust their word that Aaron was dead.  You couldn’t begin to explain it, but you needed to see.  It wasn’t enough to just be there.  You had to get closer.

Time seemed to accelerate as you slipped around the back of the bike and launched yourself towards the warehouse.  You could hear Clay’s furious shouts behind you and the sound of others in pursuit, but you couldn’t stop.  Your legs propelled you forwards, arms pumping in time with the thud of your feet against the ground, and for a moment, the sensation was almost freeing, but then you reached the open door, flapping in the breeze, skidding on the blood that had pooled on the concrete as it seeped from the bodies either side of the entrance.  Throwing yourself into the chill shade of the corridor, you flattened your body to the wall, taking a moment to collect yourself, to let your heartbeat slow.  Seconds later, Tig was next to you, rage in his eyes.

‘What the hell do you think you’re-‘

‘I’m sorry,’ you cut him off, breathing hard, holding up a hand to silence him.  ‘I’m sorry.  I couldn’t wait anymore, Tig.  I-I couldn’t stand it.  Please, help me.’

You thought he might argue.  The conflict in his eyes was enough to tug on your heart and make you question your decision, but the echo of gunshots through the concrete maze made him grit his teeth and then he was nodding.  ‘You stay behind me, you understand?’

‘Yes.’

And then you were moving, creeping along the hallway and peering through open doorways into large empty rooms, immaculately clean despite the graffiti that swirled across the walls.  Tig’s finger hovered over the trigger of his sidearm, and a new fear snuck into your head: that one of the others, one of yours, would appear first and he’d gun them down before he had a chance to take in who they were.  But you knew it wouldn’t happen.  He was a professional.

Up a flight of metal stairs, treading on the balls of your feet, careful not to make a sound, and along another corridor, around a corner, and another and another.  And then voices, soft snarls and growls growing more exaggerated until they were shouts of anger, full of venom.  Opie, you realised immediately, and Jax.  But the shouts weren’t directed at each other.  There was a third voice.  Aaron.  You recognised it straight away, low and dangerous, though it was laced with something foreign at first.  It was only when Tig motioned for you to keep to the wall and inch forward and you finally glimpsed him in the adjoining room that you could see the fear writ over his face.  Your brother was scared.

‘How could you do that to her?’ Jax was yelling, that same edge to his tone that he’d used with you when he’d lost his temper in the park.  ‘Your own sister?  What sort of fucked up bastard do you have to be to whore out your own blood?’

‘It’s none of your goddamn business,’ Aaron bit back.  ‘You’re gonna get your asses killed and for what?  To protect that little bitch?  Trust me, fellas, she ain’t worth it!’

Another shot and a bullet buried itself in the wall millimetres from the top of his head as smoke twisted in the air above Ope’s gun.

‘You don’t talk about her like that,’ Opie growled.  ‘You don’t talk about her at all.’

‘Oh, of course.  I knew I recognised you.’  Aaron had the audacity to laugh and you could see Opie’s jaw lock as his control ebbed away.  ‘You’re the asshole she’s been fucking, right?  She couldn’t even stay faithful to you for a few months.  And you think it was me that made her a whore?’

You jumped as warm fingers wrapped around your elbow, trying to drag you away from the scene that was unfolding, but you couldn’t move, even when Chibs’ urgent eyes met yours.  You hadn’t even noticed his approach.  ‘We gotta go, love.’

‘Wh-why?’ you managed to stutter, before Tig took control again.

‘What’s wrong, brother?’

‘Cops.’  Even as the word fell from his lips, you could hear the soft echos of footsteps entering the building and sirens, carried by the breeze, drawing ever closer, and you swallowed back a panicked cry.  And then another gunshot and the unmistakable sound of a body slumping to the floor.

Your tore yourself from the Scot’s grasp, darting around Tig, your gaze immediately drawn to Aaron’s figure, spread-eagled on the ground.  Blood was spreading out from a bullet that penetrated his skull and his eyes were fixed on the ceiling, unseeing.

Oblivious to their audience, Opie and Jax turned away from you, striding to another door on the other side of the room, but they were still several feet away when it flew open. There was a muffled shout as men in uniform marched in, weapons raised and pointed at the two outlaws.  The cops.  They were here.

‘We gotta get out of here,’ Tig snapped, and then his arm was around you again and you were following Chibs back along the corridor, your breath coming in tight, jagged gasps as you let the men guide you.  Your mind was reeling, your heart split in two by relief and a surprising gnawing grief.  Aaron was dead.  He was gone.  He was really gone.  Down the stairs, but not back the way you’d come, weaving through the corridors towards the rear of the building, before bursting out into the fresh air, squinting in the daylight as you made for the bikes.  Two cars from the sheriff’s department were parked haphazardly by the fire exit and you realised the sirens you’d heard had been a result of their call for back-up.  Your helmet came down on your head just as the rumble of car engines reached your ears and Tig tore out of the now-empty yard with Chibs close behind, narrowly avoiding a collision with the police vehicles as they skidded to a halt in front of the warehouse.

Jax and Opie’s bikes still stood against the fence, abandoned, and the nausea in your stomach almost overwhelmed you.  There was no way that they’d made it out.


	29. Chapter 29

‘Where the hell was my heads up?’  Clay was a vicious image of seething rage as he towered over Unser, spit flying as he shouted in the police chief’s face.

‘I-I didn’t know,’ Unser stuttered, running a hand over his thinning hair as he shuffled uncomfortably.  ‘Sheriff’s department don’t tell me nothin’ unless they need my cars for back-up.  Ain’t like it used to be, Clay.  They’ll be runnin’ things round here when I retire.’

The President let out a deep, menacing growl, turning his back on the answers that he didn’t want to hear and beginning to pace the worn floor in front of the bar.  ‘Where are they?’

‘Holding cell down at the station.  They’ll be moved to Stockton first thing in the morning.’

‘Can we see ‘em?’

‘No.’  Unser backed up as Clay rounded on him.  ‘It’s more than my job’s worth, boss.  Place is crawlin’ with higher-up’s, people way above me in the food chain.  I’m tellin’ you, that Aaron had friends right at the top of the ladder.  I knew the Collective was powerful, but the way folks are talkin’, they’re gonna hang the both of ‘em out to dry.’

A pained whimper escaped you where you sat curled on the couch and you brought your hand to your mouth to silence the sound.  Your face was wet with tears that you couldn’t control, and there was a pit of despair in your stomach.  ‘This is all my fault.’

‘No, baby, it’s not,’ Tig reassured you from his place at your side, but you hushed him with a glare.

‘Yeah, it is.’

‘Y/N, love-‘  Chibs had been standing behind the bar, pouring shots of whiskey to share around the subdued outlaws that had gathered back at T.M., speaking in whispers as Clay processed the disaster that had befallen his Club.  Now though, the Scot came to you, perching on the arm of the couch and stroking a gentle hand over your head.

‘No!  Tell me that if I hadn’t been there you wouldn’t have found a way to warn Jax and Ope?  Tell me if you hadn’t been so desperate to get me the hell out of dodge you wouldn’t have been able to create some kind of distraction so that they could get away?’

The stony silence was the only answer you needed.

‘It’s my fault they’re locked up.  They’re gonna go away for years and it’s all because of me.’

You hadn’t expected Clay to take pity on you, but his angered gaze had softened as he listened to your outburst, and, when he dropped into a low crouch before you, his eyes were kind. ‘You want me to tell you it wasn’t a damn stupid thing you did back there?  I can’t.  You could’ve got yourself killed, not to mention half my guys.  But this shit, this isn’t on you, sweetheart.  Jax and Opie, they knew the risks.  And they knew that, if the cops showed, I had to get the rest of the club out of there.  We all go down, and everything goes to shit. But I’ve got Lowen on the case now and she’s gonna get ‘em a deal, alright?  Everything’s gonna be fine.’

‘A deal?’  You shook your head, disbelievingly.  ‘They caught them standing over the body, Clay.  They’re not gonna let them off with a couple of years and a slap on the wrist.  They’ll be lucky if they don’t end up on death row.’

Even as you ducked your head, wringing your hands in your lap, you could feel the men around you exchanging a look.  You were right and they knew it.  The only way the guys escaped hard time, if not worse, was if they offered up something else on the MC, and they’d rather die.

‘I hate to say it, but we’ve got bigger issues right now,’ Chibs spoke up, breaking the loaded silence.  ‘What’s the bettin’ The Collective have guys on the inside?  We need to get our boys some protection before they get transferred or they aren’t gonna make it long enough to be sentenced.’

‘What?  N-no?’ you stammered, looking wildly round.  ‘Aaron-  My brother, he’s-  I mean, Ope killed him.  He’s gone, right?  Surely-’

‘We cut off the head of the snake,’ Tig agreed, ‘but that don’t mean it won’t grow three more.  The Collective’s not done, sweetheart.’

‘Which means you’re still in danger,’ Clay added, forcing you to meet his gaze.  ‘You don’t leave this clubhouse alone, is that clear?  I’ll talk to Laroy, see if we can get black on side in Stockton.’  He was already pulling out his phone as he levered himself to his feet with a grimace, striding into the chapel and letting the door swing shut behind him.

You knew your face was painted in a look of horror.  You hadn’t even considered the dangers to the guys inside and the reality of their situation settled in your gut like a lead weight.  Of course, the Collective would have people on the inside.  They weren’t invincible – they’d had men arrested before, grunts and paid muscle, chosen as fall guys for the exact reason that Chibs had just described:  to exact revenge; to protect the organisation’s best interests behind bars.  Jax and Opie were smart and strong, but they were only two people against God only knew how many.  And the thought that you might still be on the organisation’s radar for the damage you’d caused was just as terrifying.  With that, the sense of impending doom that had followed you home deepened into a spine-chilling dread and you crumbled once more.

 

* * *

 

You were vaguely aware of someone carrying you, strong arms scooping you up and cradling you against a broad chest, the scent of leather and whiskey assaulting your senses as the lights of the bar faded into gloom.  It felt like it had been a lifetime since you’d last set foot in your room, but it carried a comforting familiarity, though blurred by tears, as you were set gently down on your bed, the blanket pulled up and over your trembling body before the mattress dipped beside you and a soft kiss was pressed to your forehead.

‘I’m sorry, lass.’

‘Everything’s falling apart, Chibby.’

‘I know.’  You thought he might offer something more, something to make you feel better, but he didn’t.  Calloused fingers brushed the hair from your face before moving down to squeeze your shoulder and you reached for his hand, holding it tightly, knowing that he needed to go and attend to club business, but not wanting to be alone.

‘What am I supposed to do now?’

‘Exactly what ye always do.  Stay strong.  Best thing about this club is we pull together when shit goes down.  Ye aren’t alone, love.’

‘I feel alone.’

‘I’m right here.  So’s Tiggy.  He loves the bones of ye.  We all do.’

You sniffled, curling around him where he sat so that you could rest your head in his lap, nestling into the soft pooch of his shirt over his stomach.  ‘I feel like I’ve lost them both.’

‘Don’t say that.  Hey, you’re the first girl who’s gotten close to Ope since he lost that old lady o’ his.  That makes ye special.  Ye’ve just gotta hold on for him, that’s all.’

‘The last thing we did was fight,’ you admitted, and Chibs’ hold on you tightened.

‘I’m sorry.  Don’t change nothin’ though.  He adores you, lass.’

‘I’m not so sure.’

 

* * *

 

Eventually, you slept and, when you woke, Chibs had disappeared.  Your face felt puffy from crying, and you crawled from your bed, discarding your clothes on the floor without a care as you headed for the shower.  You stood under the spray for a long time, your hair hanging around your face in rats’ tails as the water beat down on you, warming you from the outside in and forcing the chill from your bones.  Your head was swimming with memories: Opie slipping in behind you, laughing as he ran his fingers through your hair, sluicing out the bubbles of shampoo before spinning you and pressing you against the tiles, his body flush with yours as he kissed down your throat; brushing your teeth at the small basin as he showered, oblivious until he told you with a smirk, wrapping a towel around his waist, that you’d been standing there for ten minutes, the brush working mechanically as you gazed lustfully at his acres of toned skin; darting into the bathroom and wrestling to get the door closed as he chased you teasingly around the room, your giggles bubbling from your chest as he overpowered you, throwing you over his shoulder and carrying you towards the bed.

Would any of those things ever happen again?  Would you ever hear him laugh?  Feel his strong arms wrap around you?  Would he ever kiss you like you were his entire world? Even if he got out by some miracle, you couldn’t say yes for definite.  You had no idea where you stood with him after your fight, and that just made your anguish a million times harder to bear.

A knock on the bathroom door tore you from your reverie, and you turned off the water, stepping out onto the cool tiled floor and towelling yourself dry as Gemma’s voice filtered in from the bedroom.  ‘You okay in there?’

‘I’ll be right out.’  You secured the towel around you, the fabric clinging to your damp skin and stepped back into the main part of the dorm, followed by a cloud of steam.  Jax’s mom was collecting your clothes from the floor, bundling them up and throwing them into the laundry basket, before turning to run an appraising eye over you.

‘How are you holding up, sweetheart?’

You shrugged, unable to find the words to describe the pain that spasmed through your body with every beat of your heart.  You wouldn’t cry again.  You couldn’t.  You had nothing left to give, drained dry, and you needed to hold it together.  ‘You know what happened?’

‘Clay filled me in.’

‘I’m sorry about Jax.’

‘Me too.’  She lowered herself down onto the corner of the bed, patting the space beside her, and, when you sat, she wrapped an arm around your shoulders.  ‘It’s gonna be okay, Y/N.’

‘How can you say that?  Your son’s locked up.  Ope too.  How can anything be okay?’

‘We’ve been here before.  They’ve both done their time.  It’s nothing they can’t handle.’

‘But what if-‘

‘Lowen’s on it,’ she advised you with a practised confidence.  ‘Clay pays her big bucks to deal with this sorta shit and she’s gotten our guys out of worse scrapes than this.  They’ll go down for a couple of years max, trust me.  It’ll fly by.’

You opened your mouth to speak again, to ask her how she could be so calm, sound so sure, but you were interrupted by the door flying open.  Tara burst in, her eyes watery with tears, Thomas balanced on her hip.

‘Gemma!  Chibs said I’d find you in here.  What the hell happened?’

‘We’ll leave you to get dressed.’ Gemma spoke first to you, before rising to her feet and beginning to usher the doctor from the room.  ‘C’mon, I’ll fill you in.’

‘Is Jax going away again?’

‘Looks like it.’

‘Dammit!’  She was clinging on to her temper by the tips of her fingers, you could tell that much, and you found yourself questioning whether she was angry because she was worried for him or because once again he’d thought of the club ahead of his family.  ‘I can’t do this again, Gemma.  I won’t.  I told him-‘

‘It was my fault,’ you confessed, feeling the heat of her gaze as it landed on you, standing beside the bed, bare feet fidgeting against the carpet.  ‘He did it for me.  Ope too.  Please, don’t-‘

With a snarl, she turned on her heel and stalked off down the corridor, with Gemma following close behind.


	30. Chapter 30

‘How’s he doing?’

Piney sank down opposite you at the picnic bench with a sigh, grimacing as he set his oxygen tank down on the table.  ‘He’s alright.  Clay got the blacks on side so they’ve got people watching their back.’

‘That’s good.’  You glanced down at your hands where they were clasped in your lap, clearing your throat before you ventured, ‘Did he- Did you ask…?’

‘I did.’  The old man shifted uncomfortably.  ‘I’m sorry.  He said no.’

It had been nearly two weeks since Jax and Opie had been confined to the bowels of Stockton prison and, for the duration of their stay so far, Ope had refused to see you.  He’d passed messages through his pop and the others that went to visit, but the bottom line was always the same: don’t come.  His explanation was that he didn’t want you to see him in that place, that it was easier for him to stay strong if he kept you at arm’s length, but you couldn’t help but wonder if he was still smarting from your betrayal.  For that reason you hadn’t been to see Jax either, fearing making everything ten times worse, and your heart ached for the both of them.

‘Told me to tell you he’s thinking about you,’ Piney went on, softening the blow by a minuscule amount.  ‘Boy looks tired.  Reckon he’s laying awake at night picturing that pretty face of yours.’

You forced a smile.  ‘If he can remember what it looks like.’

‘Trust me, he remembers.’

The midday sun beat down on the both of you, and you took a sip from the soda can that you’d set aside while you spoke, running a finger over the condensation that trickled down the curved metal.  ‘I miss him, Piney.’

‘I know, kiddo.  I do, too.’

‘What do you think he’d do if I went anyway?  If I just showed up?  Can he refuse to see me?’

‘Reckon he can.’  Piney nodded.  ‘Not sure he would.  All you can do is try, sweetheart.  But don’t be too disheartened if he can’t handle it.  It’s different in there.  You have to be hard to survive.  You’re his weakness.’

You knew he was right, but that didn’t help you sleep at night.  ‘How’re the kids?’

‘They’re fine.  Mary takes ‘em most days.  She ain’t happy about it but she’s stepped up.  I do what I can.’

‘Ope was just starting to be a dad to them again,’ you murmured.  ‘God, I hate this.’

A shrill whistle from over your shoulder brought the conversation to an abrupt end, and a crooked smile quirked the old man’s lips as he nodded towards the garage.  ‘Looks like you’re wanted.’

 

* * *

 

The motorcycle ate up the miles as Chibs rode through town and out the other side, the rush of the breeze refreshing as it caught your hair, sending it streaming out behind you. The route was becoming familiar now.  You’d ventured out here several times since that day, the day everything had changed, driving up into the mountains to a little hideaway café off the beaten track.  The Scot had assured you that they were known locally for their comfort food, but, in all honesty, you knew that he just wanted to help you get away for a little while.

Today, as he rolled the bike to a halt, waiting for you to slide to the ground before he dismounted, he slung an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side.  ‘What ye fancying, love?’

‘Long as it’s hot and greasy, I’m easy,’ you countered, leaning into him as he held open the door.

‘Spoken like a true crow eater,’ he teased.

The guys had rallied around you in your time of need, and it seemed sometimes like there wasn’t a second of the day when you were alone.  Gemma had been forced to take a step back, her loyalty divided, though she knew that she had to show a united front with Tara.  Jax’s old lady had returned to the fold as soon as he’d been locked away, and was relying on the matriarch for help with childcare, among other things.  Since your confession that you were responsible for the risk Jax took, the doctor had shut you out completely, and you wondered if that icy cold shoulder was the reason that the VP had reached out to you in the first place.  But, though Gemma now held you at arm’s length, Chibs and Tig treated you just as they always had, one of their own, watching out for you and letting you lean on them whenever your heart splintered just a little bit more.  Happy had taken to always ordering you up a shot whenever he went to the bar, which was doing little for your liver, though it was a sweet gesture, and Juice was constantly seeking to make you laugh, getting into all sorts of scrapes in the process and filling your inbox with videos of cute things and funny fails.  It was too much and not enough all at once, and, though you appreciated their efforts, the only one you really wanted was Opie.

Now, Chibs was sliding into the booth opposite you and giving you a knowing look. ‘Tiggy says you’re still not sleepin’.’

You weren’t sure when your bedroom had become Tig’s too.  That first night, he’d come to check on you before heading home, and you’d begged him to stay.  Your guilt whispered nasty things inside your head, and you needed the soft rasp of his breathing to drown them out.  He’d held you until you’d finally drifted off in the early hours, and had returned every night since, rocking you gently in the hope of giving you the rest and relief that you needed.  To begin with it had worked, allowing the sheer exhaustion caused by your desolation to sweep you under, but now you were more restless than ever, tossing and turning until dawn.

‘He should just go back to his place.  I know I’m keeping him awake.’

‘He worries about ye.’

‘I know.’

In truth, you worried about yourself.  And about Opie.  And about Jax.  And their kids.  And about what would happen when their case went to trial.  You’d become a ball of nervous energy, and it was all you could do to keep yourself from exploding as the pressure built up within you.

You didn’t say that.  You didn’t say any of it.  There was no need.  Chibs knew.  As the waitress came to take your order, the Scot greeted her with a smile, shifting his focus from you to the important matter of deciding what to eat, and you were grateful.  You didn’t want to think or talk anymore.  It was enough effort just to be.

 

* * *

 

You knew something was wrong as soon as Chibs’ bike pulled up in the yard of Teller-Morrow.  The autoshop was empty, a deathly quiet hanging over the compound as he backed the Harley into the line and cut the engine.  You turned to him with a desperate look in your eyes, taking off towards the clubhouse before he could stop you.

‘Y/N, wait-‘

Bursting through the door, you were met with a wall of yet more silence.  Leather-clad bodies milled about, clutching half-empty glasses in their fingers, and a somber atmosphere hung heavy over the bar.  Your stomach knotted as you sought out a familiar face, your eyes finally meeting Clay’s where he stood beside the chapel door.  He looked tired, his mouth turned down at the sides and, when he saw you standing there, Chibs at your shoulder, his entire body seemed to slump.

You knew without being told.  You knew without a single word being uttered.

‘C’mon, love.’  The Scot’s voice was a soft husk in your ear, his hand on the small of your back as he nudged you gently, guiding you across the room into the meeting space and setting you down in the chair at the head of the table.  Ordinarily you would never have been allowed to take the President’s seat and it only confirmed your suspicion that the worst had happened.

‘Tell me.’

The door clicked shut as Clay followed you into the room, leaning his knuckles on the table like an old silverback gorilla, avoiding your gaze as he addressed the reaper carved into the wood.  ‘It’s Opie.’

‘He’s…’  You couldn’t bring yourself to say the words.  ‘He got hurt?’

‘Yeah, yeah, he did.’  Only then did the President glance up to meet your eyes, giving you the respect he thought you deserved as he delivered the crushing blow.  ‘He didn’t make it.’

The ground beneath you fell away and you were plummeting into the darkness.  No.  No.  NO!  It couldn’t be.  Not Opie.  Not your old man.  No.  But Clay was nodding sadly, bowing his head again as though he couldn’t bear to see your grief.  Chibs’ hand was on your shoulder, even as he sank into the seat beside with you a pained groan, and it was that that brought you back to earth, giving you the strength to ask, ‘How?’

‘The Collective had a couple of guards on their payroll.  They, er- They set Jax and Ope up, gave them a choice.  Only one could walk out alive.’

‘Oh God.’  The whimper fell from your lips before you could stop it, but Clay wasn’t done.

‘It was Opie they wanted.  Somehow they knew that he was the one that took the shot. Told him if he took the fall, they’d wipe your record clean.  Let you move on with your life.’

‘How’d ye know all this?’ Chibs spoke up, still reeling, squeezing you tighter with every passing second.

‘Jax.  He called just after the prison informed Piney.  I’m sorry, Y/N.’

The guilt and grief were overwhelming, combining into a piercing agony that drew a choked howl from your chest.  You were vaguely aware of Chibs dragging you into his arms as you fell apart, the world splintering and spinning wildly off its axis as you processed everything that Clay had just said.  It was your fault.  He’d done it for you.  It was all for you.  Opie was dead and it was your fault.

You barely heard Clay leave, his place in the room taken by Tig who hauled you round into his embrace, letting you bury your face in his neck, his dark curls tickling your nose as Chibs stroked soothing circles over your back.  Without them you thought you might physically crack, and so you clung to them, fisting a kutte in each hand as you sought to keep your heart beating, fighting for every single breath.

‘He’s gone.’  You repeated it over and over, unable to tear your mind away from that simple fact.  ‘He’s gone.  He’s gone.  He’s really gone.’

‘We got ye, love,’ Chibs murmured as Tiggy whispered reassuring nothings into your ear but none of it meant anything when you knew Opie was never coming back.

‘How am I supposed to-  How can I-  I don’t know how to do this,’ you sobbed, sagging in Tig’s arms, the outlaw catching your weight and holding you upright.  ‘He’s gone.’

‘You’re not alone, baby,’ Tig promised as if that was any consolation for what you’d lost. ‘You don’t have to do this alone.’

 

* * *

 

You hadn’t spoken all evening.  Opie’s body had been laid out in front of you, his casket open to allow those present to pay their respects, and you hadn’t been able to function with him just inches away.  You’d stood over him for hours, grasping his cold, lifeless fingers in your hands, memorising the face of the love that was lost to you forever.  Others came, saying their goodbyes and murmuring words of comfort as they passed you, but you barely registered their voices.  All you could see was him.

Now, as the MC took up their places, ready to hoist him onto their shoulders and transfer the casket into the waiting hearse, it was time for you to say your own farewell and the words that had been swirling around your head for the past few days failed you.  How could you put into words what he meant to you?  How could you begin to explain what his final gesture had done, giving you your freedom, your second chance?

You stooped to press a soft kiss to his whiskery cheek, rubbing your thumb over his jawline, your tears dripping down your face and onto his.  His chest was littered with mementos, trinkets that people had wanted him to take on to his final destination, but you had nothing to add.  He had your heart.  It was all you’d had to give.

‘Thank you.’  Your voice was shaky as you whispered in his ear, not wanting to share this moment with his brothers.  ‘Thank you for loving me.  Thank you for letting me in.  You changed my life, Ope, in big, indescribable ways and I hate that you’re not here to see that.  You protected me to the end and it cost you everything, and I won’t forget.  You weren’t the other guy to me, I hope you realised.  You were the guy.  My guy.  You were my old man and I love you with everything I have, and I’m sorry if I ever made you doubt that, even for a second.’

‘You ready?’  Clay’s voice came from behind you, and you squeezed your eyes shut, still addressing Opie when you continued.

‘I don’t know how to do this, Ope.  I don’t know how to say goodbye to you.’  You lowered your head again, capturing his lips in a final frozen kiss, swallowing hard against the lump in your throat.  ‘I won’t waste it, what you’ve given me.  I promise.  I won’t throw it away.’

Stepping back, you cast one last glance in his direction, his long hair shining in the lights of the chapel, his face peaceful, as though he might just be resting, before spinning on your heel and forcing your way through the crowd and out into the fresh air of the yard.  The hearse was waiting, its rear doors hanging wide, ready to accept Opie’s body, but you didn’t stick around to see the procession.  You couldn’t watch him leave the clubhouse for the last time.

The gates were open and you headed that way, turning right when you reached the street and quickening your step.  You didn’t know where you were going.  You didn’t know what came next.  Your future stretched out ahead of you like the darkness that swallowed you up as you pressed on, cutting through town and out onto the main road that wound up into the endless forest.  All you knew was that you were free, at last, and you had Opie to thank for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry. Trust me, this hurt me just as much to write as I’m sure it did for some of you to read. I love Opie - his character, the way Ryan Hurst plays him, how solid and big and kind he is. But the beauty of his journey is in its tragedy and his loss does so much to change Jax and the others that I couldn’t see it playing out any other way…
> 
> BUT… This isn’t the end of our reader’s story.  
> Coming Sunday 13th January: Burn It Down, the first sequel to The Other Guy [https://archiveofourown.org/works/17410292].
> 
> The reader is struggling with the circumstances of Opie’s death, but the MC tiptoeing around her and treating her like she’s constantly on the verge of breaking down isn’t helping. When her anger threatens to overwhelm her, she turns to Tig Trager in the hope that he’ll be able to give her the release that she needs. 
> 
> Obviously, this won’t be an Opie x Reader, but I hope you stop by and check it out!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. Your feedback has meant the world to me!


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